ttc wise things suck as normal.. im so so tired of trying over and over again and getting no where in results wise.. its always the same thing.. do all you can do to end up with the freaking hag and im so tired of that. than i read online about all the lil ones murdered and think.. why would someone who is such a monster be give'n a baby but yet some of us try so hard and for so long with nothing but the freaking hag and a part of our heart dying every new cycle, why is it we have to pep talk ourselves into how a new cycle is just a new chance at getting a bfp but than you read about some monster who dumped a baby on the side of the road in some small town (one of the latest headlines out currently) .. i just dont get it, dont understand it.
however i do know how blessed i am to have my babies and know that i was given each of them for a reason..
lil ron is doing good went to his junior prom and looked so nice.. but made me realize hes turning from a boy, a teenager to a fine young man.. makes me want to cry to think that he will be 18 this winter and after 1 more year of high school will be well on his way to college and his adult life.. it just breaks my heart.. i wish we could just go back in time or that even time would slow down a bit rather than going fast track that time seems to be on..
wyatt oh my sweet wyatt.. he has taught me patience .. i still wish that ppl could see the world threw his eyes ... we have an official diagnosis of ADHD and while he remains in counseling and will for a long long time, we have also ventured into the world of meds. today is actually our med appointment and since his current meds arent working like they should, its time to switch them up and try something new. which is the way it is.. just trying to find the right dose and right meds for him. trust in that getting meds wasnt an easy decision but one that was needed, not only for behavioral changes but also for his concentration and education. hes such an amazingly smart boy with the biggest imagination ever, however he doesnt have the abilities to concentrate like others do and its making his grades suffer so badly. one thing i do hate is when ppl see a child misbehave and automatically assume that child is not disciplined. wyatt is very disciplined however due to his ADHD still acts out or doesnt listen. and what i hate even more is when ppl think *oh your child has a behavioral problem.. leave him at home.. i refuse to do that, wyatt is NOT someone im going to hid behind closed doors because he might have a temper fit or break down or not listen .. but im also that mom who will remove him from the situation based on his actions and the same mom that will speak to him calmly yet firmly about his actions when he is doing the wrong thing, and i will praise him when he is doing the right thing.. just drives me nuts when ppl have the opinion that neither ron nor i discipline him .. but i guess its the ignorance of the world when it comes to that. just because you cant see an issue when looking at a child dont mean there isnt one. so next time you see a kid running rampant or not listening or even see them throwing a temper fit dont just automatically assume hes not disciplined instead realize there might be more going on than you know.
Owen is doing good i cant believe he is getting closer and closer to his 3rd birthday. hes so sweet and loving and so so smart. still my mickey mouse lover, my 2am crawl into mamas bed, snuggle bug.. and you know i wouldnt trade any of it for the world. i think when it comes to some things im a more relaxed mom than others are.. i will not push him to go back to his own bed and not be in mine.. but i know all to well these years end before you know it, and soon enough he isnt going to want to come to my bed in the middle of the night.. that he wont think twice about wanting to snuggle on the couch or what not.. so im cherishing every moment of it. We have ventured into the world of potty training and its going okay so far.. he isnt big on telling you when he has to go so its a lot of timing and watching the clock for now.. but he does good. all this week he has managed to wake up dry so our first thing is taking the time to potty.
truth is .. my boys are my world and i wouldnt change a thing about them.. not the great times .. not the harder times.. not one thing.. each of them are amazing individuals and im so lucky to have each of them in my life.
