august 1st

its hard for me to believe that our little man Owen will be 1 years old on the 4th.. just days from now.. i keep thinking back to last year and knowing that it was any day now that i would be heading to my doctors office to find out what the plan was going to be as far as induction date to have him...

and now here we are 1 year later and i cant help but tear up when he looks at me standing in the living room and just gives me that HUGE smile with loved filled eyes ~

its around each of the boys birthdays that i start thinking about the days they were born and how i just cant imagine that so much time has past and how big each one of them are getting..

we went to walmart last night where little ron bought his first bike out of money that he himself earned clamming the past week.. *wow* he is getting way to big and way to fast ~ he loves to go clamming with *uncle* chris during the summer months and is hoping to get in a few more weeks of clamming before school starts back up.. this time he is going to save up to buy himself a kiack (ack at the spelling) something he has been wanting that we just dont have the extra cash to afford to buy him at this time.

wyatt is with owen at moms house this weekend, playing and having a good time im sure. we did pick up a small kiddy sized pool for the house (made of hard plastic to be clyde safe) for them to play in during the days that little ron will be clamming and where wyatt just doesnt want to go to the end of the road, not many kids live in the neighborhood and very few his age ~

ooh a small mommy brag moment ~
little ron had rode his new bike down to the end of the street today to see who all was down there .. the normal *drunkards* but still.. they talked to him for a bit and told him that tyler (a kid who lil ron spent much time with this summer and last summer) might be coming to live with his mom full time (he currently lives with his dad out of state) .. anyways. they told lil ron how they felt that he (tyler) has changed so much the past few years from the kid that orgionally came down for the first time last summer to the kid that left this summer to head home thanks to hanging out with little ron.
that is a HUGE compliment that they felt that he had helped tyler be a better person ~

we always get tons of complimants from parents around here whos kids hang out with little ron .. he is a really great kid!

we are on to cycle 2 of ttc now *pouts* a bit disheartening to me because i was really hoping it would happen quickly and it brings back alot of scare that we will again find ourselves trying forever for baby number 4.. a time period that we just dont have..
thankfully i have the most awesomess husband who is extremely supportive of everything and understands and comforts me when i get down about it. he truly is the best and i am ever so lucky to have him as mine forever ~

ron is working again tonight.. although im not sure till how long, he is trying to get one of the guys to change with him.. he says he just wants to come home and spend some quality time together .. although who knows what will happen..

we are looking hard now for a cheap used has 4 wheels and runs kind of car *lol* our requirements are so low on this one its not funny and the cheaper, truly the better for us right now.
at tax time we will upgrade.. at first we were talking a suburban but now ron is thinking a passanger van might even be better.. not my first choice because i just dont like vans but, he has some valid points on it .. our biggest concern is size.. the bigger the better because we have to fit little rons still growing long legs into it. when we origionally traded our envoy in for our aspen, we had plenty of room and now find ourselves in the same situation of no room again in the aspen..

i am so looking forward to getting back to basics with everything its not funny.. i miss the *simpler* life with less payments going out and more money to do the little things with.. even a weekend trip to the zoo or a nice small close to home camping trip ~ its the little things that we can do to bring and keep our family close together and give our kids the great memories of growing up that is needed... and wanted by all.
somewhere along the lines of over priced car payments and what not, that all got lost but no more will life be that way for us ever again..
i would rather leave a credit'less life than to have to owe everyone..
i once said that *you know when you have it all because it belongs to everyone else* and i realize now what a wrong statement that was.. yes we had our house that we were buying, a brand new car in the driveway, furniture payments etc.. but were these things the things that made us truly happy? no they werent.. what truly made us happy was just being together.
our current situation isnt ideal .. and we are slowly working on that, one thing at a time, one paycheck at a time.. and soon we will be to where we wish to go. as i told ron, the only time i will accept another *payment* would only be to a home and than i would want to have a good down payment and low monthly payments ... it would deff have to be worth our while.. even though i hate the idea of lining someone elses pocket to pay their mortgage or whatever in a rental and know that its *throwing away money* homes in our area are expensive and a move is not anywhere in our future. one thing we also agree on is our childrens educations are important and i will not lower their education to make a home more affordable..