Jens Wreaths

Every year around Christmas I get this crazy bug that tells me I NEED a wreath, now because of costs of live department or grocery store wreaths I find myself digging threw the scrap pile at the local home improvement store to gather up the scraps from their tree trimming, to in the most horrible way rig myself up a *wreath* (using that word *wreath* loosely). I am far from the crafty kind and i think thats pretty well known in my family ~
Last year I did a blog contest for Jens Wreaths and was so thrilled to win one of her fresh Christmas wreaths.
I received the Wreath in the mail very quickly it came perfectly packaged with no damages to it at all. I immediately had to open the box and the house just filled with the fresh wreath sent, talk about putting you into the Christmas spirit. The wreath was made extremely well and to perfection! The best part about Jens Wreaths is her prices! If you havent bothered to look, maybe you need to go ahead and do that now.. The prices are anywhere from $20 (18 inch undecorated Balsam Wreath) to the mother of all Wreaths for a low $150 (48 inch Traditional Wreath). But it dont end there, she also offers Centerpieces, Door Swags, Crosses, Candy Canes, Bows, Cones, Ornaments, Thanksgiving Decor, and lets not forget about the Early Bird Specials (who dont love saving money?).
Now back to the beautiful Wreath I won last year from Jens Wreaths Facebook Page .. It was absolutely perfect in every way.. I received tons of compliments on it from family and friends as well as the mail lady who was very impressed with it. I actually hated the idea of having to take it down after the holidays, so to be quite honest I didnt.. It stayed green and beautiful for the longest time, I would say probably a good 2 months before I started to notice any color changes in the Wreath itself.. It never lost any of its parts, no needles fell off, no pieces fell, It honestly dried beautiful and was as beautiful dried as it was when it was lush and green .. it did lose the smell but it just looked perfect against the house. Finally around May I was out voted by the family and made to say fair well to my lovely wreath.
I want to add that Jen's Wreaths is a family owned business (you can read all about them here) and they are top notch at their customer support, if you have any questions feel free to check out their FAQ section of their page or feel free to contact them using their contact section.
We all look for perfect ways to decorate our homes for the holidays and honestly you cant go wrong with a Jens Christmas Wreath, we hunt high and low for great gifts to purchase those special people in our lives, Jens Wreaths has that perfect gift covered. You honestly cant go wrong with a Jens Wreath. Check her out, make and order and you will NOT be sorry!

and again

to much time has passed.. i remember the day when i kept up with my blog faithfully this became my outlet for all the things in life i needed to get out of my head, my internet diary for smaller simple'r words and yet here i have just let it lapse into almost nothingness ..
so where has life taken me in the last few .. well however long it has been since my last update?
owen is now potty training full speed ahead, im so so proud of him, yesterday he even pooped in the potty! okay maybe a bit TMI to share but as a mom with a potty training baby, well this is HUGE news! im so proud of him. today we were laying on the bed and playing .. he was holding his little blue pot with the lid on that was filled with *goofy's soup* (see mickey mouse club house episode where goofy is camping and sick to fully understand) goofy soup in this blue pot is a very common occurrence in this house. i had finished doing a few things in the bedroom and had laid down on the bed with him as we talked about his pot of soup and than as i went to get up, i was told i couldnt leave because the zombies would get me *lol* thanks to wyatt for introducing the wonderful world of fake zombies to owen *lol*
and as we laid there and talked and played i realized that i love that he let his hair grow long again... each blonde curl perfect.. its *him* short cut hair.. not so much but the long blonde curls is oh so my baby boy!

little ron has been busy fishing and hanging out with friends since school let out.. enjoying every bit of his summer vacation as it should be enjoyed! filled with the things he loves, laughter, friends, and of course.. fish! he hasnt *worked* with uncle chris so far this year but i like that hes enjoying his time. hes going to be 18 this year.. one more year of high school than college and than a life time of working to support his family and himself .. and so for now.. this is how i think his time should be spent.. just enjoying the simple things. looking at him even with his sometimes teenage attitude, i know that we have raised a fine young man and someone to be very proud of.

wyatt.. oh my sweet sweet wyatt .. we finally got his last report card and he is going into the 4th grade next year! this was filled with tons of congratulations and a nice cake for him! going into 4th grade is a huge deal as this year has been the most trying so far of them all.. the meds im still on the fence about.. confused if they are fully doing their job or not but i will speak to his counselor about that this coming week.. somethings he has changed so much on.. others the changes are slow moving .. some days are great days.. some days are good.. other day.. to be desired?
this summer we have a pool and he is loving every minute of it, quite disappointed that we were rained out of our pool time today but tomorrow is a new day.. on filled hopefully with sun and swimming and all them great things!

fathers day is just around the corner so for the special men in everyones lives, the dads ... happy fathers day to you all! i hope your day is filled with the best of everything!

yes i know its been to long ...

seems that im all ready to post something and than something happens and i walk away.. and never do get to that post.. now geesh way way to much time has gone by *grr* anyways ~
ttc wise things suck as normal.. im so so tired of trying over and over again and getting no where in results wise.. its always the same thing.. do all you can do to end up with the freaking hag and im so tired of that. than i read online about all the lil ones murdered and think.. why would someone who is such a monster be give'n a baby but yet some of us try so hard and for so long with nothing but the freaking hag and a part of our heart dying every new cycle, why is it we have to pep talk ourselves into how a new cycle is just a new chance at getting a bfp but than you read about some monster who dumped a baby on the side of the road in some small town (one of the latest headlines out currently) .. i just dont get it, dont understand it.
however i do know how blessed i am to have my babies and know that i was given each of them for a reason..
lil ron is doing good went to his junior prom and looked so nice.. but made me realize hes turning from a boy, a teenager to a fine young man.. makes me want to cry to think that he will be 18 this winter and after 1 more year of high school will be well on his way to college and his adult life.. it just breaks my heart.. i wish we could just go back in time or that even time would slow down a bit rather than going fast track that time seems to be on..
wyatt oh my sweet wyatt.. he has taught me patience .. i still wish that ppl could see the world threw his eyes ... we have an official diagnosis of ADHD and while he remains in counseling and will for a long long time, we have also ventured into the world of meds. today is actually our med appointment and since his current meds arent working like they should, its time to switch them up and try something new. which is the way it is.. just trying to find the right dose and right meds for him. trust in that getting meds wasnt an easy decision but one that was needed, not only for behavioral changes but also for his concentration and education. hes such an amazingly smart boy with the biggest imagination ever, however he doesnt have the abilities to concentrate like others do and its making his grades suffer so badly. one thing i do hate is when ppl see a child misbehave and automatically assume that child is not disciplined. wyatt is very disciplined however due to his ADHD still acts out or doesnt listen. and what i hate even more is when ppl think *oh your child has a behavioral problem.. leave him at home.. i refuse to do that, wyatt is NOT someone im going to hid behind closed doors because he might have a temper fit or break down or not listen .. but im also that mom who will remove him from the situation based on his actions and the same mom that will speak to him calmly yet firmly about his actions when he is doing the wrong thing, and i will praise him when he is doing the right thing.. just drives me nuts when ppl have the opinion that neither ron nor i discipline him .. but i guess its the ignorance of the world when it comes to that. just because you cant see an issue when looking at a child dont mean there isnt one. so next time you see a kid running rampant or not listening or even see them throwing a temper fit dont just automatically assume hes not disciplined instead realize there might be more going on than you know.
Owen is doing good i cant believe he is getting closer and closer to his 3rd birthday. hes so sweet and loving and so so smart. still my mickey mouse lover, my 2am crawl into mamas bed, snuggle bug.. and you know i wouldnt trade any of it for the world. i think when it comes to some things im a more relaxed mom than others are.. i will not push him to go back to his own bed and not be in mine.. but i know all to well these years end before you know it, and soon enough he isnt going to want to come to my bed in the middle of the night.. that he wont think twice about wanting to snuggle on the couch or what not.. so im cherishing every moment of it. We have ventured into the world of potty training and its going okay so far.. he isnt big on telling you when he has to go so its a lot of timing and watching the clock for now.. but he does good. all this week he has managed to wake up dry so our first thing is taking the time to potty.

truth is .. my boys are my world and i wouldnt change a thing about them.. not the great times .. not the harder times.. not one thing.. each of them are amazing individuals and im so lucky to have each of them in my life.

its going to be another busy week

have a lot going on this week..
need to get the boys in for haircuts before wed as lil ron has to cook on wed for class and he is not wanting to have to wear a hair net *rofl* but at least its stopping the sudden stand off on him getting a hair cut.. ooh not that my child loves having long hair but because he was to *busy* with friends to bother to get his hair cut the last time we were going soo i refused to take him .. i mean why make 2 trips we would have been in and out and yeah he refused so deal with the long hair thats annoying me as much as i know it is you *hahaha*
on wed i get to go pick up our rings finally :) i cant wait.. they have only been in the shop for a week but i feel oh so nekkid without them!
and on friday is wyatts first appointment with the counselor at the drs office.. fun fun fun! not sure if we will have the IEP retest stuff back from the school in time but im hoping we do.. im sure i can shove a quick meeting in there sometime this week before the appointment at the drs office .. i am curious though if they will see the same things that we see or not.. guess only time will tell. but my uneducated google'n way to much opinion is.. hes ADHD of course that is not an official diagnosis but everything i read on ADHD and what not points to a lot of the way that wyatt is.. but im trying to not get ahead of myself and taking the process one step at a time.. truth is hes an awesome kid just has a few issues we need to get looked into.. but i wouldnt trade him for the world .. love him oh so much!
owen finally got his stitches outta his butt and is healing up greatly .. woke up this morning when the bigger boys were getting ready for school (there went my option to sleep in a bit longer) but hes mr snuggle butt on the couch :) oh how i love our snuggle time.. before you know it, the snuggles and what not are gone.. so i cherish every second of them.
we got the isuzu pup truck home this weekend and avoided a broken arm *woohoo* apparently when off loading the pup truck from the car hauler something went wrong and i was woken up by lil ron saying *mommy i think i broke my arm* so i went to look at it and what not and we came to the conclusion that its just badly bruised .. soo at least there is no busted bones as of yet...
as for the pup truck, its getting on the road today! rons picking up the part we need (water pump) and going to have it installed and get all the registration stuff done, so that he can hopefully start taking it to work tomorrow.. needless to say the van is having a few issues (needs a break job and sounds like the passenger side bearings are going) soo it will get fixed over the week and than get its new plates and safty inspected..
im thinking by the end of the week, the bank accounts not going to be feeling any love thats for sure.. need to get ron to order that part for the heater too.. but at least in the end of the end.. everything will be fixed up, done and outta the way! which is a good thing.. but yesss a busy week indeed!

stitches for owen :(

today was a day i wish we could have skipped thats for sure! owen and i woke up like normal, me in time to get the bigger boys off to school and owen early enough to watch the buses which he loves to do..
than it was some snuggle time on the couch and plans for hours of mickey mouse playing for my mickey mouse lover.. funny how he has to keep it going in the room even when hes busy doing other things..
but anyway ..
yep life was a typical normal day for us.. wash was going etc etc etc.
and than it happened..
owen was walking around with the nerf sword and must have tripped or whatever.. but he fell..
butt first into the curio cabinet.. i was on the phone with ron when it happened and hung up quickly because owen was screaming bloody murder..
pulled his shirt off since it had glass pieces on it, and started to check him over.. back, head, butt.. oh hell! there was a piece of glass sticking out from his diaper.. omg.. my heart still sinks thinking about it.
so i pulled the glass out and omg it was huge! looked at his butt and saw where it went in at, grabbed the phone and called my mom. that phone call went something like this *mom we gotta take owen to the hospital now* she said *okay on my way* and hung up.. i hurried tossed on a pair of jeans and my shoes.. tossed a clean shirt on owen and grabbed my purse, mother got here as i was just grabbing my purse and off we went.
poor ron didnt even get a phone call back until we were headed down the road. called him and told him we were taking owen to the ER and explained what all happened.. he told me *im on my way, i will meet you at the hospital* so he left his semi with his driver manager that happened to be working with him yesterday, took the driver managers truck back to the warehouse and jumped in the van.
we got to the ER and everything there went pretty quickly.. surprisingly enough the longer we were there the more owen was acting like his normal self. he was a bit iffy about the x-ray when they took the first one.. but the second x-ray he didnt seem to mind to much. when we got back from the second x-ray ron was in the room waiting on us in the ER with mother.
thankfully the doc said he didnt see anything on the x-ray but he said that glass is hard to see on an x-ray so to keep an eye on it as it heals.
doc went ahead and had us pre-numb him up before he did the main numbing.. once he was pre-numbed the doc came in and did the main numbing on him and than cleaned out his boo boo best he could as well as looked around to see if he could see any glass which he didnt..
owen ended up with 2 stitches in his butt.. still breaks my heart that my bubba got a booboo that required stitches :(
we came home and i dunno who was more wore out and tired.. me or owen but none the less we both laid down and took a good nap together.. i knew he was tired and i just wanted to lay and snuggle with him.
my poor poor bubba :(
its been a crazy 2 days and im ready for the craziness to give me a break because lawd knows i need it.

wyatts IEP update

Originally i was told that this would all take place in 2 separate meetings, however it ended up being one meeting all rolled into one.
The last tier wise it was easy, i mean yes we all know that the interventions that was being done wasnt working, that was obvious at tier 3 however you have to jump threw all the hoops to get the help..
with that being said it was time that we do the re-evaluation for wyatt needing special education, for him to get the extra help he needs in math tagged onto the IEP he already has.
because wyatt hasnt been tested since he first entered into special education we are going to have him re-tested on 3 different areas again, educational, psychological, and this time we are adding to it behavioral which that one hes never been tested for before.
The reason we are tagging on behavioral is because there are certain things that we are starting to really worry about and things that even for us are tossing red flags into the air.
for one, no one can seem to keep wyatts attention for very long. its not so much really if your in a one on one setting, for example if im sitting at the table doing homework with him and dont leave the table at all, i can normally keep him on track. however if i get up for any reason and leave the table, i loose wyatt, than you have to sit back down and get him back on task and get his focus back on what he is supposed to be doing. they are having this same issues in school with him however they arent able to sit next to him all day, lets face it there are another aprox 19 students in his classroom.
we have also noticed a big flag that popped up for me and i think his teacher got it as well when i pointed it out. in reading when all of this started, wyatt was having major issues with what they call *sight words* these are a list of words that a child should know by just looking at them, example the word *the* however when they would work with wyatt on sight words (both his reading helper and his 1st grade teacher) he was never consistent with what he knew. on day 1 he might know a group of lets say 5 words, on day 3 (test day 2) he would know only 2 of that original group and say 4 others from the list, however on day 5 (test day 3) he would know say 1 of the group from day 1, 2 from the group on day 3 and maybe 2 more new words. it was never consistent in what he knew from his sight word list.
now we are starting to see the same issue with his math, on day 1 he might know the answers to problems 1-5 .. however on day 3 he only knows 2 problems on that first group and a few others and than on day 5 he knows maybe 1 of the first days group, 2 of the second days group and were back to adding in a few more to tag onto what he knows today.
as i told his IEP team it is in my opinion that this is NOT normal and something that deff. needs to be looked into more. which is why im going to ask his doctor to do their own testing as well as get him into an actual eye doctor for an eye exam (weve noticed him hanging on the TV vs sitting and watching from a distance). Our appointment for the drs is on the 21st and the IEP team told me they would try to have his stuff back before than from his new testing so i can carry it with me.
Along with this we did discuss some of the issues that we have at home with wyatt, and one lady i think said it best, *when he gets home he is just done* and you know thats exactly what it is. exactly how he acts.. that he is just done with the day.
i did have to get a giggle out of the ladies telling me the normal, wyatt has a story for everything or a way to relate things to a story that he can and will share, wyatt is a talker thats for sure! than add to that the cute'ness of him telling his teacher that he used a calculator for homework and he i guess got a problem wrong and he informed her that she must be wrong because calculators do not lie *lol* only my youngin.
so thats where we are for now, and we will go on from here .. once we get the testing results back from the school and once we get the ball running with the doctors office, we will know more.

are you scared?

I dont know what it is these days but for about.. oh geesh 3 months or so something has totally been creeping me out, like big time creeping me out. the best way to explain this i suppose is jumping into my childhood.
Mother had been dating *R* for about a year when she decided that they should move in together, *R* never seemed to be that bad of a guy for the most part. It was clear that our mor-mor (moms mom) didnt think very highly of him but other than some minor (on the grand scale of things in years to come) incidents, *R* was a pretty good guy .. after all he did *love* this woman and accepted that she had to kids (ah this is one of them times that you wish you had a crystal ball or at least had the abilities to take the wolf out of the sheeps clothing and expose his true colors). none the less mother thought he was *perfect* and so she decided to move herself and us girls in with him (wonder if looking back she sees that as a big mistake now)~
we were living in our first rental home that we lived in together as this *family* and well honestly its where my sister and i's really hell began in life ~ but thats another story for another day.
anyways.. i cant say that life was always horrible, grant it on the scales of life it was much worse than it was good but i cant delete out the *good* parts even though they were far and few in between. however im not sure what category to put this one under. funny i havent given it much thought in years, at least not until the last 3 months. and to be honest its kind of freaking me out.
we were living on clark street in Hammond and im not sure what possessed *R* to do it but mother says it was near halloween, i cant tell you what time of year it was, just that i remember it being cold out.
he sat us girls down and went into this huge long story about this man who escaped from a mental institution, from his crimes he committed, murders and such, and how he was this huge danger to society as a whole, down to the details of his clothing, hair, etc etc etc. i cant even remember all the details of the story.. but i will never forget that we were getting ready for bed that cold night when it all happened.
the place we rented was an upstairs apartment of a house, the main level of the home. the landlords had renovated the basement and lived there. there was this enclosed back porch and 2 back doors, one of which was on our apartment that led you into the enclosed back porch and one off of the back porch which lead you outside. we were in the kitchen area which had 2 rooms off of it, mother and *R*s room as well as the one bathroom.
anyways .. there we were in the kitchen when all of the sudden this person who *R* described in grave detail, popped up in the enclosed back porch beating on the back door leading into the apartment and trying to get in, my sister and i screaming, crying and just generally freaking out ran into the bathroom.. with no escape from there .. i think most would have ran out the door in the opposite direction of the crazy escapee but not us, we ran into a bathroom with no escape.
of course mother and *R* thought it was so hysterical .. because of course the man who was trying to break into our home was *R* himself in a mask.. but to us it was just so real.. maybe it was our age? i dunno but i still can feel the fear ~
now i hadnt thought about this at all until about 3 months ago.. now though, it haunts me daily..
only in the dark hours of the night or morning, when i go to let my clyde out to use the bathroom do i think about it. maybe it was triggered by the psycho looking (im guessing) homeless man we saw walking down the street shouting at mother car that triggered it, im not sure. but whatever it is or was.. its freaking me out and i cant find the answer yet.
I however freak out every time i have to let my clyde in or out of the house, that same fear that i felt as a child comes back.. i have to close the big door into the house, lock the screen door, and see as far as i can as well as i can before unlocking the door to let clyde in or out of the house, i always always expect to see a deranged looking lunatic beating on the back door..
quite honestly its totally freaking me out and i dont know what to do.. why now? why all these years later?
thankfully when ron is home and awake he handles letting clyde in and out of the house since we have talked about it, but of course thats not always possible.
is it a sign of something to come? a warning? is it my mind screwing with my head yet again? is it *R* haunting me possibly from the grave? okay maybe that ones a bit far fetched. but still.. is it?
ive looked, googled and searched for any sign of *R* but have found nothing.. maybe i will talk it over with my sister and see what she says.. maybe she has some indication or even is going threw the same thing? im not sure.. one thing i am sure of is its freaking the crap out of me.. day in and day out month after month and i wish to hell it would stop already!

Listia

well im a freebie lover and do pretty well for myself in the freebie world, at least i would like to think so *lol*
and im not talking the little shampoo samples because well them just annoy me, no my freebies that i love are like.. free skecher shape-ups (still waiting for them to come in the mail), free jockey key chain undies (okay nothing major to brag about but oh so cute), free $50 sandals from Key West Sandal Factory, free queen size sheet set, free shirts, free $200 Double D ranchwear jacket, free $200 to spend on hotels.com (love this one, i mean who dont want a free hotel stay?), free earrings, etc etc etc
yep these are the ones that i like to be amazed at and oh so happy to receive in the mail.
most of the time i get friends say *wow how do you do that* well you would be totally surprised at the companies that want to give this stuff away.. sometimes you have to be quick on the buttons but sometimes you dont, all depends on where your trying to get the good stuff at and what your needing to do.
just last night i won a pair of silver earrings and that was just from referring friends to a site .. once i had my 10, well than ALL 10 of us won a pair of earrings (easy huh?)
now i would lie if i said like 99% of these werent facebook related.. because in all honesty they are, but every so often we find one that dont require facebook..
hence Listia comes into play. I learned about it yesterday and its a free auction site that you just join up for, you join up you get $450 credits for free :) credits are their version of cash.. link it to your fb account and get another 50 credits, do a few other things and more credits.. see? easy :)
now lets say you want to bid on a pair of earrings with free shipping.. you bid 100 credits (of your free credits that you got for signing up) and walla, you win that auction.. congratulations :) free shipping, free credits means.. FREE item!
curious about Listia? check out the button to the right of my blog up top and you can check it out for yourself!

Monday

wow what a weekend!
we had all these plans for the weekend.. saturday we had planned to do our normal walmart which we tend to do late at night only to wake up to snow.. yes SNOW again! argh i so am tired of the cold and the snow! and sense when do we have lots of snow on the coast? hello .. this is not normal *lol*
it started sometime around 10:30am and just wouldnt go away *lol* after it finally decided to stop snowing we had between 5 and 6 inches in our backyard. this meant that heading to wash rons Budweiser truck was out, at least for saturday. which was our other plan and thing we needed to get done this weekend.
so saturday was spent for the most part just us hanging out in the house watching the white crap fall from the sky. the roads were a mess big time. ron did venture out to the store up the road and said he couldnt see where the road started and the road ended. thankfully he took it slow and only slid once along the way.
Sunday we got up and hoped for the best because we knew we had to venture out. so we took our time and got ready before leaving.
the roads werent so bad, at least not the main roads but the back roads were ugly still. thankfully the only back roads we had to go on were in our own neighborhood.
we headed up towards new bern and not even 15 minutes from the house we had pretty much completely driven out of the snow! how crazy is that?
i mean not even one little bit on the side of the road even, it was just *clear* and all the snow was just .. no where to be seen. apparently the only ones slammed by the snow itself were us here on the coast itself.
we got to new bern, headed to the walmart and got the stuff to clean the truck etc. and than headed over to wash the truck itself.
OMG i cant tell you how much of a disgusting PIG the last driver of this truck was. Rons only had it for about a week now and hasnt been able to get it cleaned up which is why we decided we would do it on the weekend. but OMG it was so so nasty. i swear we should have taken before and after pictures.. trash, food all over the floor, etc it was seriously just *gross*
rons gonna keep on working on it little by little threw out the week but from how it looked before to how it looks now, it looks to be at least 90% better than it did before which is really good.
after we got home, we decided to call on a rental that i found in the paper. im not trying to get my hopes up. while the location is good (correct school district) and while the price is great for our area, etc.. im really on the fence over it because i know if i get my hopes up to high, it wont work out in the end. considering that we are still waiting on one W2 in order to have the first month and deposits and our other option is to use rons check that comes on the 4th, its just really really pushing things. the one good part is the current renter is in it until the 1st so that gives us a bit of time.. now if only that last W2 would pop up online so i could get taxes filed we would be good to go. grant it im not expecting much from taxes this year so it would eat up a good portion of it, but at least its a home of our own and outta here *woohoo*
ah well one day at a time. were supposed to do a drive by tonight so i guess we will see what we see, heres to hoping its not a trashy place *lol*

mean girls

there i said it *mean girls* but its the truth thats all they are.. plain and simple *mean girls*
how do i come to that conclusion well for one second put yourself in someone elses shoes, your early on into your first pregnancy and these *mean girls* decide as you are trying to figure out whats going on with your body to seek the help from other girls to find out what they think it could be.. so you ask questions and they decide to start calling you a very rude and immature nickname because of this and three yes THREE years later they are still doing it.
this same girl goes on and months later has marital problems. she is newly married and just dont know what to do .. so she again reaches out for support and opinions on what to do..
and the result are again mean girls who tell her that she is dumb for not loosing her new husband.
now you tell me one person who is married to her husband a man she married because she loves him and wants to grow old with him that will just up and walk out .. ignoring his pleas, his apologies, his promises (empty or not) and just give up and say *fuck you im done*
no one that i know of drops the ball that quick, what makes a marriage is hard work and while everyone has their limits of what they will take, you always try your hardest first without just *giving up*
years later when the marriage unfortunately falls apart, you have this tossed in your face and these same mean girls attacking you at one of the lowest times in your life.

do they not have an ounce of compassion? understanding? feelings? what about a simple heart? that would help wouldnt it?

a YEAR after the final blow up occurs and people part ways, it is still brought up. did this girl leave that much of a lasting impression?
when i decided to walk out of the situation completely.. take my bow and walk away from the cliques, the drama and most of all the mean girls.. i knew i would be their next target.. its a trend, a habit of theirs .. and so i took care of what i needed to.. deleted, blocked, walked away etc..

and yet still this year later, names are trashed.. tongues thrash the rude comments, the names are called..

i did not ever ask for an apology .. neither did my friend .. i did not seek anyone out .. neither did my friend, my friend however was sought out.. and while i will say it *i think an apology should come from the heart not from reading a book* my friend is more forgiving i suppose than i am.
but i have no room in my life for drama and bullshit and i know the cliques and the mean girls only bring that.
and as much as i would love to say what sounds like a bunch of mean kids picking on one that they see as *weaker* even if this person has more heart, more soul, more strength than all of them combined.. they attack because they see this person as weak because she isnt backed up by the clique... i would love to say these are mere children ..
but than i think about my own kids and i wonder.. at what age would i expect my child to act like that and the answer is never.. never in a million years would i allow my child to think that they are better than anyone else, more deserving of anything than anyone else..
in life we are all equal.. we bleed the same color blood, we all feel pain, hurt, joy, laughter etc..

but sadly these mean girls are adults, yes ADULTS .. women .. women who have children, women who all came together seeking the same exact thing, a place where they could chat, meet new people, find understanding, compassion, build friendships, etc

my hope for them is they never face walking in the same shoes as the girl who they have torn down time and time again. the girl who as much as THREE YEARS later they still feel the need to hurt.

i wish they could answer me one question.. *what joys do you feel by doing the things you do to people? does this make you feel like a bigger better person? honestly does it? to hurt someone, to tear them down, to kick them when their life is falling apart around them? what joy does this bring you?*

thankfully my friend is a survivor, her life is full .. she has jumped every hurdle tossed in front of her and while her roller coaster is far from over she takes each day as they come.

Nemesis

I have a nemesis and this is who it is, yes .. im serious! the dreaded alarm clock that wakes me up every morning. now grant it mine might not be so fancy as the one pictured but trust the annoying *beep beep beep* sound is just as bad.
I would lie if i said i didnt miss the days of being woken up by ron in the mornings, because honestly i miss them. but i know that the decision for him to go back to budweiser when they came hunting him down and asked him to come back was one that will benefit our family more so than him waking me up each morning.
It was a hard decision to make, bouncing the good and the bad between both companies, one providing us with the hours we wanted and loved while the other lacked the hours however provided the cash side of things..
needless to say his long long days are back and well for me, this means my nemesis has returned into my life.
i cant tell you how much i am beginning to love weekends again.. how much i look forward to weekends again.. just to get 2 mornings of peace!
i had the worst night monday night.. couldnt sleep which lets face it is never fun to deal with alone.. but finally just as the clock was going past 2am i felt myself starting to doze off.. only to be immediately startled awake by owen who was coughing. by this time ron is already up and out of the bedroom so owen came and climbed in bed with me to snuggle *love my bed bug*
i lay'd there rubbing his head and making sure he was comfortable, just after 3am i heard ron leave for work (a bud mans day starts long before the sun comes up) .. and than the next thing i know it was *cough cough cough puke!* ack.. just what i wanted to play in at 3 something in the morning.. got owen all cleaned up and the bed taken care of, washer loaded for the next morning so it could be ran as soon as i woke up, than it was back in bed we went. and this is when clyde decided to pace back and forth unable to get comfortable i assume, from his puppy bed, to the floor between the beds, to owens youth bed (a HUGE no no but hell it was some ugly hour in the morning and i wasnt gonna argue with his furry butt, i was tired), and back again.
the last time i looked at the clock it was after 4am and i knew that my night would consist of one short nap before a long day.. and sure enough at 6am my nemesis was screaming for me to get out of bed and start a new day.
needless to say sleep was NOT an issue last night at all .. but as always my nemesis was screaming me awake this morning and as much as i want to crawl back into bed even 3 hours after i woke up, i now thats not a good idea. soon a cute lil man will be bouncing his way out of the bedroom all smiles, ready for morning snuggles and to start his day.

Tax Time

it amazes me honestly how many people end up intimidated by taxes, maybe its the fear of doing something wrong on your taxes? i have no clue. since as far back as i can remember i have been doing my own taxes and over the years doing family members taxes and friends as well.. always eager to help those who need it!
it wasnt until about oh geesh 3 or 4 years ago that i started e-file'n them. now i admit that even though i sat down and did my own taxes i would still rush out the door to H&R block and take our taxes there to get the refund quicker.. but as time went on i learned that when i e-file and even better yet, free file, i can not only get the same refund i always have .. but i get all of it, no more spending a few hundred to h&r block for merely just typing in a few numbers on a computer and agreeing with what i already had written down.
if you havent heard of free file i HIGHLY recommend it to everyone. my personal favorite is to use turbo tax freedom edition. of course to free file there are some restrictions, income, age, etc.. but to get the best list of the free file'n sites simply head over to the irs web site and on the right of your screen you will see where it says *free file* and from there you can find not only sites where you can E-file your returns (getting your return back to you in about 2 weeks time if direct deposited) but you can also see that they are all the IRS trusted and suggested sites.
From using the Turbo Tax one, i also get to do my state for free (how awesome is that) and although your state has to be a qualifying one to get it for free, if you have to pay to have the state side of it done, the amount you pay for that is far less than you would pay to have say H&R block do it for you.
Ive used a few of their different sites, mainly because someone might not have qualified for the same one that i use, and they are all for the most part pretty easy and self explainable as you go along filing each different section.
while im an odd one and actually look forward to tax time and crunching the numbers in my favor and seeing how it comes out in the end, even someone who isnt such a goober can easily do it. so my suggestion before your dropping a few hundred of your return in H&R blocks pocket or some other tax persons pocket, give it a try and see what you think, you might be surprised.
and for those of you that think *well H&H block does so great at getting me all they can in a return* um not really, they do the same thing that you yourself can do, they dont have a magic wand that says *well since you came here, i can take and give you an additional $500 from the IRS hows that sound?* they do the same things that anyone else does, the same things that you yourself can do. and with the free file stuff, you dont even need to know all the new tax changes, just go threw each part and answer all the questions and your good to go!

Capricorn no more???

For the past, well ever, i have been a Capricorn, at least until yesterday that is, yesterday it was all over the web that horoscopes have now changed. now honestly seriously how can they do that? change something that has been what it is for well since forever and a day? well i read somewhere that it all stems back to the Babylonian times and how there were 13 signs but they wanted to use only 12 and so they dropped one and made the others to be the horoscopes most of us have known our whole lives.
but how do you just *swap* them out so many years after you have been what you have been? i mean seriously how does one do that? now if your not into the horoscope thing, i suppose its rather easy. and while i will admit i rarely read mine or anything else, its just weird to think that after so many years as a Capricorn im supposed to *love* the idea of being a Sagittarius. no offense to any Sagittarius folks out there ..
I also learned that all my kids horoscopes changed as well and that Wyatt went from being a Capricorn like me.. to being the new one .. oh geesh what is it called? Ophiuchus .. dont even ask me what that one is because other than being the supposed 13th sign that was dropped by Babylonians long ago, i know nothing about it.

Im not sure what i will do, i have read up a bit on Sagittarius but yeah im kinda always gonna be a Capricorn by heart.. maybe they will grandfather me in? or the Capricorns will adopt me *haha* I will admit that for some reason i have this strong feeling that the more we dive into this whole *whose what in the horoscope side of things, we will find not much more than a highly over paid scientist who is making not only way to much money but has far to much time on his hands. cant we think of something better for him/her to spend their time on?
curious if your horoscope changed? heres the new list..

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17. 
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.