100% water baby

he is my water boy.. my swimmer.. my curly bed headed love

and of course this morning he woke me up with visions of a pool dancing in his head *lol* if only he would understand that mama has a few small things to do before we head out. like get todays wash started and some food in his belly *lol* maybe slowly he will get it and understand that there are just a few small things mama needs to get done.
but who can resist that cutie wanting to do what he loves most.. be outside and play in the water and in the yard?
deff not this mama.. looks like its gonna be a very outside kinda day again *smiles*

ooh forgot to add what im ticked about *lol*

why is it that people cant leave shit alone that isnt theirs?
yesterday i went looking for the stuff that dads sister sent me so i could show mom..
anyways.. i head into where i had it sitting on the desk at.. and it was gone.. this is the second time i have had it sitting on the desk and it disappears on me.
i look on the book shelf (which is where it was found last time) and it wasnt there..
ron happened to call at this time so i asked him if he had moved it and he told me *no .. go look on the book shelf* i told him it wasnt there..
about that time the old religious one walked through so i asked her if she had seen it *nope sure havent are you sure you know where you put it?* uh duh yeah.. geesh.. so i ask her to ask the wildabeast if he moved it on me..
sure enough she tells me he shoved it in a drawer.. gee thanks *rolls eyes*
so i tell her that it does not need to be shoved in a drawer on the desk, there is to much stuff in the drawers to shove my photos etc..
to which she responds *well as long as you have it in the plastic bag it will be fine*
yeah i can see where a ziplock (which is what my aunt mailed the loose photos in) is so much protection..
what it all boils down to.. is that its not theirs so they dont give a crap.
i mean a photograph can get lodged in there and i would have to pull and tug to try to get it out and than it would be all bent up.. but hey thats okay according to them..
now the stuff is in our room and lets see if the wildabeast goes in there and tries taking it out
can we say *annoyed*?
and you know its not that it was in anyones way.. the desk has all of my stuff on it and in it.. so geesh leave it alone already..

i guess what bugs me the most is i have very little of dads stuff.. and why do they want to try to ruin the little bit i do have? i know ron told me to put it in the chest but thats his families chest not ours and it just dont feel right.. yes its been housing things of ours for a long long time but i dont even like that stuff being in there..

monday :)

i got woken up this morning by my sweet owen pointing out the backdoor at the pool as if me crawling out of bed was a prime time to just head out and jump in *haha* course it didnt quite go the way he planned after all i had to insist that he ate breakfast first..
once breakfast was done and i got laundry into the dryer, we headed out back! he had a blast! oh how i love my water babies!
he swam around and had a great time.. than wondered around the backyard looking at everything there was to see :)
after a while he had had enough, so we came into the house, had lunch and than he enjoyed his nap.
woke him up before he slept to late than headed back outside until dinner time..
he helped me check the pool filter and wyatt helped me add more water to the pool as we had lost some with them playing around.. to cute though owen learned really quick that if he leaned on the side of the pool his butt and feet would float up to the top :)
little ron even splashed around with us for a bit was was quickly leaving us to go fishing with friends.
he was supposed to be going with uncle chris tomorrow to get his clamming license however chris texted me and told me that it wouldnt be until wed. guess he has a few things he needs to get done tomorrow so they arent all heading down until a day later than originally planned (chris needs to renew his as well). i suppose i will find out more later about all that..

other than that.. not much else going on.. just relaxing now in the house with wyatt and owen.. waiting for little ron to come home so i can do a load of wash.. need to wash my clyde since i got lazy and didnt do it last night.. okay a combo of lazy and to late to even want to bother..

thats about it so far i suppose :)

a perfect sunday

slept in a bit this morning.. got up and checked things online as i woke up.. checked fb and what not to see what my friends were up to..
did a load of was .. found a dead fish in the wash *gross* apparently little ron and his friends didnt have a place to put bait so found that their pockets worked *yuck yuck yuck*
re-did a load of wash *hahahaha*
spent a few hours with my hubba before he headed off to work.. jumped in the pool for about an hour and now fixing to wash my clyde and do a few small things around the house..
waiting for my head to stop spinning.. making the water go round in round in the pool is great fun with the kids but makes me *sick* hahaha.. dizzy and my head still feels like its spinning..
a small price to pay for laughter and smiling faces though!

thoughts

a child goes missing and leaves a family wondering if they will ever see them again..

a husband lays on life support leaving a family wondering if he will pull through or will they be saying their good byes any second..

a pregnant woman gives birth without her husband there because he has tossed them out for another woman.. leaving thoughts of what should have been running through her head vs the reality she faces as she gives birth..

a woman stares at bfn after bfn suffering with infertility and wondering if that baby she dreams of will ever be born..

some people have real life problems.. serious things going on in their lives..

yet some tend to stick to the small things.. the matter less things.. the things they instead choose to dwell on and cause hate and discontent..

next time you find yourself being in this position.. remember.. real life is happening every day..
hope to god you never walk in the shoes of the one that you are hurting.. hope to god that your never faced with real life serious issues..
hope to god that you will someday find compassion in your heart and let the small stuff go..

try to be understanding.. show compassion and understanding in your life.. be the one lending the ear when its needed.. be the one offering the hug.. be the one standing up for right instead of wrong..

real life happens every day.. real issues come up all the time.. nothing is guaranteed in life.. be your BEST not your worst ..

have a heart.. be understanding.. dont follow the flock and stand out alone if you must.. dance to your own drum beat if you have to.. but be the best you that you can be.

maybe if you decided to be this person.. friends wouldnt disappear just food for thought ~

a wise woman

tonight posted the following online..

You never realize how short life really is, until something drastic happens. If you are mad at someone, make up. Don't take anything for granite. Hug your family, friends, husband and just remember, no matter how hard you have it ..someone somewhere has it harder then you. No matter what place or time. ♥

and to be honest wiser words have never been spoken.. and i had to share her wisdom here because i think all to often folks forget exactly what she said..
life is to short, you never know what tomorrow, an hour from now, a second even will bring you..
the only thing you are guaranteed in life is that someday you will be gone, sadly but true its the one thing we all know for sure..
and yet.. so many let the petty bullshit run their lives.. they see a sense in starting arguments with others over stupid things.. no matter if its in real life or online folks do it every day..
take 5 minutes and think about the last week or so.. think about all of the things you shouldn't have said or done to someone.. think of the pain that you may have caused them without a care in the world..
think about the donut that you passed up because your *trying to loose weight* or even the night you went to bed without kissing your husband or child because you were worried that you would wake them.
honestly truly think about every little choice you made and why you made that choice..
no in life you dont have to love everyone, you dont even have to like everyone.. but why make someone elses life harder on them just because you can?
why pass up that donut or not have that special treat? why not hug your husband more.. kiss your children more?
in life there is no guarantee that you will be here tomorrow.. take the time to say *i love you* take the time to say *im sorry* take the time to realize that your not superior or better than anyone.. but that you are equal.

the pool is done!

took a while to get it filled but i think the pump on the well was either working slow or the well is needing some rain big time .. but none the less, 650 gallons later and we have a full pool :)
washed down the floaties so that they can be pumped up, got the chlorine already in the pool.. and if it was mid day, you would probably find my butt in there now but its not so im not *haha*
owen and wyatt are going to be ecstatic to see it up and ready to go.. i cant wait!! little ron.. well hes still on the fence about it because its not as big as we originally talked about getting but it was what was affordable ~
rons on his way to work.. another 12 hour shift tonight *poor hubba* and another 12 tomorrow night *double poor hubba* .. its not so much the 12 hours as much as it is being outside in the heat and humidity that wears you down.
as for me, well im just relaxing and playing games on facebook :) speaking of which i need to check my pet in petville dont need another time getting her out of the pound *lol*
life is good.. life is great.. i need some music!! maybe some zak brown band

started setting the pool up

had it all laid out on the ground and was letting the sun heat up the plastic (as stated in the instructions it was best to let it sit for a few hours so that the bottom was more ply'able when filling and there would be no wrinkles)..
came in the house and started working on little rons phone.
hes been having a heck of a time with his display screen which sucks because thats the entire phone! so yeah.. back in and working on that.. downloaded the blackberry thing to my computer and found out there was an update. updated my phone and walla.. i lost all my flipping contacts! *ack* i hate when this happens.. last time my phone made it through the process without missing any while little ron and rons were wiped clean.. this time however it was mine that got wiped out *sucks*
good thing all but 2 numbers i have are memorized or easily found online.. so that i guess wasnt to bad.. only missing one number now and hoping to get a text in a bit so i can add it back.
updated little rons phone.. nothing i could do about the contacts as i couldnt see the screen and just hoped for the best.. his survived without any issues with his contacts and the screen seems to be working fine again *woohoo*

now i need to get on and back mine up so i dont loose anything next time!

went back outside to start hooking the pump etc up to the pool when wouldnt you know it.. the sky started turning black and the thunder started to roll.. so yeah, grabbed the pump brought it in the house and tossed the pool over the railing out back until i can get back out there and start on it again *fun fun fun* looks like tomorrow might be pool day as its not looking any clearer out there although the rain has stopped..

rons headed off to work again tonight.. been a great 2 days with him home but they sure dont last long enough.

ttc wise.. its baby make'n time but were taking it easy this cycle.. only baby dancing for baby 2 days.. im a bit nervous about it but you know, it might work.. almost half tempted to give up on temping all together again but i will see how i feel.. my temps just dont seem to agree with me anymore *lol* i dunno if its the time that im temping or what.. i know when O is so thats not really a question for me at all.. i will still keep charting though only because it helps me figure out when O will be.. since going by cycle days are almost a must *lol*

ah well... just see how i feel tomorrow and see what happens.. ttc is getting old .. but im still hanging in there *smiles*

today was a busy day

woke up this morning only to see the cable guy pull in not 5 minutes later *argh* no makeup, no shower and looking like half death warmed over.. figured he had the wrong house.. nope right numbers.. maybe the wrong town (there are like 3 streets in our area with the same name just all in different towns) nope thats not it either.. crap.. yep hes supposed to be here *joy* why cant ppl tell you when they are expecting uh the cable guy.
he changes out our modem and does what ever else.. honestly i was to tired to care why he was here *lol* but we did get a cool new modem *smiles*
got ready to head out and went and got 2 new tires on the van.. wow this is gonna be crazy.. 2 new tires this week, 2 more next pay day and oil and tranny check the next payday.. mind as well just deduct $200 for the next month *fun*
than it was off to walmart..
got what we needed and than picked up little ron a new cast net .. not the 10 to 12 foot he was dreaming up, walmart only had 7 foot so its another 7 footer for him. picked up an itty bitty pool for the back yard (can we guess what my job is the next few days? yep im on pull installation mode now *smiles*
its only 8 foot around and just under 3 foot deep but you know my boys will have fun in it and with owen, you need a pool and lots of outdoor stuff for him to do.. because he LOVES and LIVES for being outside! not to mention i dont think i have ever met a bigger water baby than he is!
after walmart we drove past the house one more time, headed up to lowes for a few more things and than finally home at last!
wow what a day..

i got a box

in the mail .. i opened it to find no letter just a box full of pictures and a year book that belonged to my dad (freshman year) i knew these things were coming but i didnt know when..
its weird seeing photos of him so young (grade school) or as a baby.. ive never seen them before..
im at a loss for words on what to think of this.. i mean it deff gives me more things to share with my boys .. a chance to look a bit more into him as a child (he did horrible in school btw) but still.. i am just at a loss..
dad has been gone for so many years..
its also weird because for the first time im seeing that i had a 5th birthday party. i know it sounds weird to say that.. but its true, i never knew i did.. i have very few memories of when i was little and to see me there.. with family and friends and a cake and all that.. its just *odd* .. almost like peeking into someone elses life.
i suppose its just going to take a while for all of this to sink in..
but i am very grateful to have a few more things to share with my boys about a grandfather they never got the chance to know.. a man who myself never really understood and felt unexcepted by .. a man who i wish had never been there vs being a guy who wanted someone to show us off when the time was right..
life is what it is.. memories and a past i have to live with.. knowing he is gone and how he passed.. but its the small things that i will cherish and share with my boys..

Long day..

a good day though, spent swimming and sunning and just purely enjoying everything life has to offer :) yes life is good.. life is great and i couldnt be happier *smiles*
nothing is better than spending a day with my guys, spending a night listening to them giggle and play and have a great time.
and of course getting updates from cassie :) congrats again mama, you did good girl!

well i suppose that i need to get to bed, got another busy day tomorrow already planned *smiles*

happy hump day :)

not much going on today.. thinking about taking the kiddos down to mothers to go swimming in a bit. figured i would get out of the house and get some sun.. maybe some new pics to edit as well.. no pressing laundry to get done that isnt already done.. plus its hotter than hell outside!
gonna just run a brush through my hair and head down i suppose, be scared, be very scared *hahaha*

ive been sitting here and listening to music

while playing with photos.. none of them seem to be coming out the way i want them to *argh* dont you hate when that happens? ah well..
i did manage to get out and pick up the photos of the boys today and they look super cute! i cant wait to get them framed and hung up *smiles*
took clyde to the vet.. ah what a lovely trip that was.. actually he wasnt so bad *haha*
first we met a nice black dog that was about 3 times smaller than clyde and as much as i appreciated his pet (aka owner) telling me how she was super friendly, it wasnt helping my clyde be less friendly *lol*
what can i say clyde wanted to *meet* the puppy.. i went ahead and let her go in a few minutes before we did.
when we walked in, of course the vet helper lady was standing right there and in her highest pitch voice had to say *hi clyde* yeah lady you are not helping the *happy dance* thing going on here..
we got clyde on the scale for a few seconds and she said *oh clyde* and let him up so we only know that he is still well over 100 pounds but it was close enough i guess *lol*
we took him into the room where he started to calm down until mrs high pitch and the vet walked in.. she got him all checked out, loved on him for a few minutes and gave him his shot. than we were out of there..
i will be happy when this *im a puppy so excited to see you love me* stage is over. its so different than the *if he was any more calmer he would be dead* clyde that lays at my feet and snuggles with me on the couch .. hahaha!

but at least he is good until september when we take him back to the vets for his rabies and other stuff that he needs done *smiles*

My blog

is here sole'ly for my own opinons and writing how i feel on that note.. DEAL WITH IT okay?
comments sections are now removed and will stay that way.. as far as SM goes i have asked to be deleted from there as well.. im done with it

all good things come to an end

i suppose this is a lesson i am learning.. have learned before and will continue to learn again and again..
sadly its not ever going to change the truth is all good things do come to an end.
i was a member of a message board for many years now.. i went in to it and slowly gained what i thought were a lot of friends. i have shared my ttc.. my joys and worries of my pregnancy with Owen.. and my ttc once again..
but sadly like all things it to has come full circle.
in recent days things occurred on this message board, things i will not get into.. but i tried my very best to stay out of it all.. i would not sit back and allow parenting or marriages of ANYONE be bashed and so i stepped up when i felt the need to, i tried my very best to do it nicely and thought i had..
it became clear to me that i could not remain neutral in the brewhahas .. and so i decided to part ways until a later date..
i went on tonight to see what my *friends* had to say if anything only to find that my posts had been deleted and were gone.
some might say i was *fueling* the fire but i said my peace and left.. i sat by quietly and watched as someone was bashed with no way to defend herself and that is not like me at all.. but i did and tried to keep my self occupied .. but i had to speak up when i did.. unfortunately my words were trashed .. deleted to never exist.
thats fine.. im good.. i have written and asked to have all of my posts trashed in the same way so my childrens pictures are not out and about .. i asked to have myself erased from the board from good.. my user name deleted and my log in discontinued..
it was my choice to make and so i made it..
but i would lie if i said a part of me wasnt hurt .. i loved what this board stood for long ago.. sadly nothing ever stays the same..

a *blah* kinda day

i had all these great plans for today.. wake up, get the kids ready, head to the little beach for a day of swimming and fun...
and than last night i found myself laying in bed not being able to sleep.. i would slowly watch the time tick by.. soon it was after 3:30 and i still laid there awake.. im not sure what time it was after that, but sometime or another i finally fell asleep.. woke up this morning by the worlds most gorgeous bed head boy (aka owen) and snuggled just for a few minutes.. i laid there a bit longer and than was urged out of bed by my dh *come look* ..
i peeked into the living room to see owen dancing to a show on the disney channel.. singing and dancing and having a good time *smiles* its moments like that.. that make life special.
i finally got owens attention and we went to wake wyatt up.. got to give daddy his daddy days gifts since he wanted to wait for you..
of course ron loved them just as much as he loved little rons.
after that i sat down and started to talk with ron a bit about stuff and than he headed off to bed.. another 12 hour shift for him tonight, poor guy is dog tired. one more of these horrid shifts before he gets a day off.
wyatt started bugging to get mother to bring him the memory to the xbox 360 and the halo games. as soon as she got here with them i knew it was over.. owen went barreling for the door and was ready to head to her house for time in the pool. once he heard pool wyatt was gone too.. so yeah it was over i lost them both in that one instant!
thats okay .. as long as they are doing what they want to do.. but i deff need to get a pool for here at the house!
tomorrow morning is an early day for me.. got to get up, get ready and be at the vets at 9am *fun* clydes getting his shots and all that jazz.. guess i should go wash him. we skipped bath time last night waiting for tonight since tomorrow is vet day.
ah well yep thats been my day.. boring! such is life i suppose!

happy daddies day :)

i swear all last night i was like a kid before christmas morning.. excited to finally be able to let ron see the wonderful creations our boys made him for fathers day. although he would only take one this morning because the other 2 boys are at mothers and he wants them from his boys..which is understandable.. so he got one today but the other 2 in the morning.
sadly he has to work tonight from 7-7 so our fathers day will consist of a warm pot of coffee and me kicking him out of bed at 5pm to spend a few hours with him before he has to rush out the door to work..
one thing im happy for is that he was very happy with the fathers day gifts the boys made him (all are the same but different so if he loves one.. he will love them all)

this is what we did this year ~
i went to micheals and purchased 3 shadow boxes.. along with the stuff to make hand prints and some craft paint..
we did hand prints first of course because they need time to dry and each boy painted their own (owen included, painted his own foot print.. he did a foot because a hand yeah.. so not happening) he even painted his foot *hahaha* when we would tell him to *paint you foot owen* he took it literal *to cute*
than i gave each child a photo of themselves (current ones) and each one a photo slip thing (has 4 photos on it free from wink online) and in the photo slip thing, its ranging from baby pics to current pics (just picked various ones.. there are only 4 slots so i worked with that)

after that, my only rule was the hand print had to go at the bottom of the shadow box (because of weight) and from there the kids went wild.. they put their pictures in and than decorated it with whatever ..
little rons is full of fish and fishing things.. wyatts full of toys and just about everything else.. owens we stuck to what dad meant to him *loving, kind, caring* etc.. along with some toys..

and this was their fathers day project for this year.. i will post pics later after we have them hung on the wall for all to see.. they actually came out really cute!!

NO thats not a bullseye on my back

so life please stop throwing lemons at me .. argh ive had enough already!!!

ron was headed to work tonight and was driving along and all the sudden a huge *pop* every instrument light available started glowing at him .. he managed to get her off to the side of the road and see what was going on..
when all this happened he was on the phone with his dad and just as soon as ron said *oh fuck* the phone went dead so of course his dad thought the worst... called him back saying *son are you okay?*

the whole front tire shredded and is warped like you wouldnt believe (according to what ron told me) thankfully the van has a full size spare and he swapped them out. now he is heading on his way to work and might actually make it in time still .. if not he will only be a few minutes late..

on a good note, we might be able to avoid putting the van in the shop this week because the shake is gone now.. and just yesterday we were thinking it was maybe one of the tires doing it even though they arent that old.. guess we might still need to see why its eating through tires of maybe we just got a bad one? who knows i will talk to ron about that later.. but yeah..

life stop tossing lemons at me or im gonna start pitching them back at you!

ugh... facebook

if you were on my facebook and cant find me now, chances are you were one that i lost.. i dunno what happened but i somehow lost like half of the people off my list *eek*
sadly im not good at last names and honestly some first names (since most that i know have user names and chances are im not gonna find you that way) so please if you notice im gone and want me back.. send me a message either here or through SM or where ever i found you at *hahaha*

sorry ladies.. i dunno what happened honestly i dont..

life lessons

its funny where you can find life lessons.. they are in everything we have seen and done and been taught through the years.. here are some of my favorites and why..

*thumpers rule*
now as a child i would watch Bambi as im sure most children have seen the movie or maybe had the book read to him. one important rule in there was when thumpers mama told him *if you dont have nothing nice to say dont say anything at all*
why is this one important? simple because everyone has times when they run into someone they dont care for, and when you do its best to simply *walk away* or ignore that person vs saying something hurtful to them.

*dont pour salt into someones wounds* i think this one goes well with *put yourself into someone elses shoes*
again we all have people we dont like, and yes sometimes they come on hard times and things happen in their personal lives that are uncontrollable to them or anyone for that matter.. but until you are walking in their shoes and know their pains how do you fully know their pain?
quite simply you dont.. you dont know what other people feel.. and what right does anyone have to add to someone elses pain? is it really making the person who causes the extra pain feel that much better that they poured the salt into the wound?

*when life gives you lemons...*
yeah you can fill in the blank on this one what you want to consider the rest of it. truth be told life sucks sometimes and we are faced with tough or hard times.. so make the best of it, embrace loved ones and try to find the happiness that is there..

im sure i could go on and on.. but i think most understand what im saying..

its stupid to get worked up when you see someone you dont like.. its dumb to try to hurt someone for your own personal gain..
be thankful that your not in the situations that others face.. i dont care what the situations are.. we ALL have hurdles we must over come and we all have hurt in our lives.. we hurt that we are ttc and cant get the bfp we long for.. we hurt when someone we love betrays our love and trust.. we hurt when we see our children hurting or a friend hurting or a loved one hurting.. we hurt when tough times are upon us..
so who is to decide when its their right to make someone elses hurt that much worse? does pouring the salt make things better for you when you do?

update

well as promised an update from me ...

today was wyatts doc appointment for the re-check on his ears and *woohoo* all is good. everything is healed up and all that jazz so no more needed meds for him and hes in the *clear*
on a sad note.. chris lost his puppy tootsie today .. he texted me this morning to tell me that she was gone. i think in the backs of our minds we all knew it would turn out this way but we all equally hoped for the best. a brief history of what had happened..

chris took tootsie with him fishing like he always does, she was his boating buddy.. well her and his friends dog (who goes with chris). apparently they took another guy with him on this particular day and hes honestly a bit of a jackass.. i dont know why chris has anything to do with him after all he is the one that caused the death of the first tootsie and than hid it from chris (long story and past) anyways.. this guy had gone with them and they told him specifically not to allow the dogs to get into the clams dont ask me what the clams were doing in the boat or why they werent just dumped over the side for crab bait, i never asked and so i dont know.. but they were there and he who (im assuming) was in the boat fishing while they clammed was told to not let the dogs get into them.. well of course he did.
tootise and bear both became seriously ill after eating the bad clams (no shells were involved just the *meat*). ron and i both feared food poisoning..
we told chris to take her to the vets and he did.. had her seen but this is where it gets real scary..
the vet her took her too which i wouldnt carry any of my animals to (ive dealt with this office in the past) didnt run one flipping test!!
from the get go they wouldnt allow him to bring her into the building, the vet had them wait outside because she was showing common symptoms of parvo (although he was informed that she was vaccinated for it) .. when the vet was ready to see them, he first gave her fluid iv (pretty much gives them a camel hump on their back) this is something i am familiar with because i had to do it with harley twice a day when he was ill.
after that the vet informed him that it could be either *parvo, food poisoning, or rat poison* there was no doubt in his head though that it was something toxic.
he gave him some meds for her and sent them on their way.
now when i called my vet in fear of the word parvo alone, i was told by them that she needed to be admitted to an animal hospital.. which she wasnt they never even mentioned it to him just *heres your meds have a good day* how can they even give meds when they dont know what they are fixing? parvo requires long bouts of iv fluids etc.. but nope none of that just some medicine..

now im upset because we dont know what the cause was, if it was parvo how safe is my clyde? they were together not long ago.. we had her here until mother picked her up .. she stayed with mother for the weekend that chris was at his dads funeral!!!

but when i called my vet the office lady was just concerned about tootsie and wouldnt discuss the parvo thing with me at all..
after tootsie passed, i called my vet yet again and explained what was going on..and asked what they could tell me about parvo..
i was told that i would have to bleach the entire back yard if thats where she was.. wow.. i need lots of bleach but its worth it for my baby boy .. dead grass and all!!
i was told that i couldnt let clyde out as long as there was bleach back there.. understandable because he cant walk in it and lick his feet or whatever.. not good for his pads.
i was told that i would have to toss out any toys they shared.. omg they shared treats when she was here that day!
i was asked about clydes shots, explained to them that he was a patient of theirs and i was informed that he was behind in shots..
behind? what the fuck? how can he be behind.. i have yet to receive notice of this.. ive been waiting i know its coming up but behind?
the stupid office bitch than tells me that she personally mails out the notices.. yeah well i never got one.. honestly truly havent gotten one..
than to top it off... im in the vet office once per month to pick up clydes meds.. i take clyde with me often because we weigh him to make sure he is on the right amounts of meds for his size (hes a growing puppy after all).. and no mention of it? i was in there in april for his rash.. again no mention of it? what the hell?? you KNEW he was there, you pulled his record to make the fucking appointment for him, you didnt once mention that he needed his shots to me? you didnt say *oh clyde needs shots you want to do them today or wait?.. no they just *left it alone* like it was going to just mysteriously pop into my brain that they werent doing their job?
yes im PISSED beyond belief at this!!
as for my clyde he is going in Tuesday morning at 9am the earliest appointment they have open to get his shots.. as for me.. yeah im still fuming at the ears!

im still no where closer to knowing if parvo has a gestation period or if its just *bam you got it your sick* that would tell me leaps and bounds what to worry with when it comes to my clyde..
i have no clue if she even had parvo but its worth killing ever grass, weed, flower, plant whatever in the back yard to save my baby!!

as for other news...
mothers durango gave us an interesting trip the other day.. we headed to pet smart to return something and than to the island to see ron at work.. we were heading to the store for him and her tires started smoking bad! we stopped at the side of the road and sure enough her break caliber was stuck..
i called ron who came to check things out, called a tow truck and went ahead to get all that done and dont you know..
1 tow, 2 break calibers, 1 break line, and $375.00 later and she has her car back .. well at least thats one thing done and off the list huh?

but yep thats been life lately.. busy, hectic, depressing, sad, happy, and crazy.. life is a roller coaster..

well...

i think i got my blog where i like it for now.. but beware.. i might change it again *hahahaha* of course not for a good while.. this has been nothing but a headache for me lately!
anyways i know im way past due for an update so yeah i will do that shortly.. for now i think i will give it a rest and than will update either later tonight or tomorrow..

*argh*

i have done nothing but mess with my blog backgrounds the last few days and where do i end up? right back to where i was in the beginning.. maybe someday i will get froggy and play with it again but for now, i think its safe to say that my blog will look like this for a good while. i have had enough headaches to last me a life time while messing with this blog *hahaha*
note to self.. DO NOT try to fix something that isnt broken!!

i hate days

like today when it dont seem to be any better than it was the night before *blah* i woke up in a decent mood only to find some characters talking in the kitchen.. dont you hate it when you walk in and it feels like *all eyes* are on you and that you are the subject of a conversation.. i tried to talk a bit and was quickly snapped at for no apparent reason..
finally i just went on about my business and doing my thing .. it only got worse when a certain child who was told last night that i wasnt completely sure on if he could or couldnt do something today came out caring a birthday card that had money in it saying *well the old religious one got it for me so that i could go* uh excuse me? was this ran by me first? me as in HIS MOTHER? no it wasnt.. its not a hidden fact in this house that i do not care for the childs parents, that they are simply drunks and that all they do is drink like fish.. its a known fact that i call them the *rednecks* and have spent the last 3 summers since they came into our neighborhood doing nothing but bitch and complain about their stupid stunts they have pulled and how they have changed a quiet swimming hole into party central, how their friends and family litter into our waters, how they sit down there day in and day out tossing back as many beers as they can with the other neighborhood drunkards.. how i watch this *woman* if you even want to call her that ignore her younger son and go as far as to leave him sit in a car seat a good 4 feet from her while she visits, tans and drinks.. how i have seen her leave a small toddler in a freaking driveable camper with nothing more than a baby gate blocking the door while again she drinks and parties etc.. yes the list goes on and on about how horrid these people are and how little respect i have for them and my abilities to hate them grow more and more..
heck up until a few years ago (just before the little one turned 1) it came out that she had an older son and i watched as everyone *pretended* that she spoke of him often but she never did.. no one had a clue.. nice kid though, was spared having to live with his mother and grow up *un-normal* thanks to his dad taking care of him all of these years (he only comes for the summer now) and yes i know him and little ron have become good friends and im okay with that. within reason of course..
call me super over protective but no my son will not be going with them out on boats this summer .. yes i realize he is about to be 17 years old (in november) but no he will not jump on and enjoy a day out on the waters with a bunch of drunks i cant even begin to tell you how unsafe that is.. and i dont care if he was 800 years old it wouldnt be happening.. being on the water you have to respect the water and you cant do that or wont do that when you are drunk!
the big deal today.. at 9pm last night little ron asks me if he can go to the kids little half brothers birthday (mind you the child is going to be 3 years old) .. his reason for going *because the older boy wont have anyone there to hang out with* okay i get that i really do.. but i also know its going to be drunk fest and to be quite honest.. my son is not a free baby sitter while you get loaded .. be a fucking parent!
secondly at 9pm i am not about to drive 30 minutes to walmart.. wonder aimlessly around the isles only to find a toy for some 3 year old i dont know than drive 30 minutes home..
now i know this is going to be a huge war so my safety net *i dunno i need to talk to dad about it*
and no my mind had NOT changed at 11 pm when this kid called back btw i know he is your friend but please stop having him call my phone!! yes i know you battery was dead but its not now.. i charged it for you and so argh *annoyed*

anyways.. i tried to talk to ron last night but didnt get very far.. so thought we would discuss it when he comes to bed this morning right? nope didnt happen.. not one word said to me..

until little ron comes out with a card that the old religious one bought for the 3 year old and with $5.00 in it for the kid..

yes im pissed.. im still pissed because it was never discussed with me! not one person asked my feelings or thoughts on it.. does my 16 year old son need to be at a party for a 3 year old that he isnt blood related to? that isnt someone we have known and are good friends with for years? no i dont think so.. couldnt tyler come to the house after the party so they could go have fun?

sometimes

i really hate this house of characters.. wish ron was home but hes not, hes working as usual .. working where he needs to be i suppose after all thats what pays the bills right? but none the less i am left here in this house of characters wishing i was anywhere but here right now.
maybe little ron will get home and things will get brighter but who knows, im not holding my breath..
why only some are super important in this house i will never understand and while others arent as important is beyond me..
i know this makes no sense but it does to me so it is what it is..
i suppose i need to call and vent to my hubba, he will get it, he will understand and he will of course get more details on the going ons because he will understand it all.. i suppose i should go drown my sorrows in a bowl of ice cream.. now wishing i would have gone ahead and bought the cones to go with it *hahaha* and yes fat head you can stay out of my ice cream.. your not *included* in it *sticks tongue out* and no lady i dont feel like standing in the kitchen forever whipping up the cake because the fat head wants something *sweet* bake it your damn self.. *sticks tongue out again*
counting down the days stuck in this house of characters.. counting down.. please pepsi call.. geesh!!

argh!!

found a really nice blogger background that i wanted but of course its pretty much impossible to get on my blog.. i screwed it up so many times in the last few minutes it wasnt even funny.. think i will stick with what i got for now and leave it this way until i feel *froggy* another day to mess with the stupid thing.. the 2 column is driving me nuts though.. but i suppose i will learn to live with it huh?

playing around

with a new template.. i am still on the fence about it though, as much as i like the new background and title thing.. im not overly crazy about it only being a 2 column vs a 3.. personally i like the 3's better but we will give it a try and see if it grows on me or if im hunting down a new background etc in a few days *lol*

looking through and playing with old pictures

makes me realize just how much my boys have been changing over the years.. yeah i mean there is the obvious'ness that they are getting bigger each year and growing more each year.. but i dont think its until you pull out that baby photo that was taken 16 years ago that you think *wow was he ever that small?* or the time that you find that photo of your child doing something only a toddler could imagine up and you realize that, that very toddler is now going into the 3rd grade!! that the babies you brought home from the hospital, so helpless and new.. are now running around and talking and playing and doing everything a child should be doing..
i hope that i am raising my boys right, teaching them to be good husbands and fathers, showing them down the right paths.. hoping.. heck i know i am ~
it amazes me how much you see online.. kids the same age as my oldest looking for the next party and planning on how much they can drink and to me its just *sad* yes *sad* because my sons biggest concern is *can i take my boat out tomorrow* or *im going fishing tonight* .. his biggest worry isnt getting a drivers license.. his main concern is getting his shell fish license so that he can spend the summer clamming in the sound with his *uncle* chris..
and you know what? i love the fact that he is keeping his youth.. i love the fact that all of my boys are keeping their childhood and that they are above all PROUD to be who they are.
i sat in the dinning room the other day listening to them all giggle and laugh together and have a good time.. i smiled at ron and he smiled back and you know it was the best hour.. so bedtime was pushed back.. but it was worth it that night to hear them having fun playing..
i watch little ron with owen and i know .. yes i know that he is going to be an awesome dad. sure he was intimidated by the size of his new baby brother when he was first born but now, he is as comfortable as anyone.. picking him up and holding him, playing with him etc.

i would love to have just one more bitty baby.. one more to complete our family that we have always dreamed of.. but you know if that never happens, i know how lucky i am and i thank the stars for the boys i have..

yesterday

was a beautiful day.. aside from playing around with photos as i have been the last few days.. it was a fine day to spend in the bitty pool out back with owen and wyatt (when he got home from his last day at school).
unfortunately i have found about 3 holes in the bitty pool.. so we are trying to temp. repair it .. a bit hard to do since its hard plastic. of course mother has told me that we should be able to find one rather cheap to replace it with and while i agree the bitty pool is find for owen to splash around in on the days we wont be going to mothers house, its still a bit bitty for the bigger boys to get into, and be able to *swim* kwim?
so i have been debating in my head if it will be worth our while to buy a bigger pool for the house itself.. and im still on the fence over it.. i look forward to the daily walks to swim vs just walking out the back door.. however i also ponder how much can i take this summer of always walking down to mothers house so the kids and i can enjoy the day.. its not like we will get that alone time since she is still on the hunt for a new job .. although to be honest i dont know how much hunting shes actually doing ~
i think it would be nice to get the kids home and fed and than to decide to just go for a quick swim before bed.. however, run into the issue of there is no where to go other than to *load them up and walk back down to mothers or to the end of the street*.. yes the debate is wild and active running through my mind..
i mentioned it to mother and she said much of nothing about it to me.. i know this will cost us $149 which is the other question *do i really want to spend the money* ah what can i say .. there is a large part of my brain that just does not allow me to spend money *lol* which i suppose is a good thing huh? just like the purse i found that i would have loved to have.. yep its still hanging at the store because i refused to spend the money on it..
anyways.. back to our day yesterday..
owen had a ball in and out of the pool starting at 11am.. took a short nap after lunch and was right back to wanting to hit the pool for more splashing fun! i got to sit on the porch and get a bit of sun.. a slight burn but nothing overly horrid so thats always good ~
as for today.. owen is at mothers swimming in the bigger pool.. wyatt is at mothers playing xbox 360 (this is another debate that we have this year with the pool being at mothers house.. she says that *the kids have to stay outside until she tells them they can go in* and i disagree, wyatt is not a swimmer to the sense that owen is and if he would rather chill for a bit, than why not let him? wyatt loves to play outside and does quite often.. but he also has those days like us all when he just wants to chill out and have a lazy day.. in mothers opinion he needs to be on the go *like little ron is* or swimming *like owen is* .. ah when will they learn that all of my sweet baby boys have minds of their own as well as their own likes and dislikes?
as for little ron.. hes been fishing once today.. had a bike for about 5 minutes and than it was dead again.. need to get him a new one.. he tears through them quickly but they are totally used up and beyond repair once he is done with them *lol* so i cant complain about not getting our moneys worth thats for sure!
anyways, i suppose i can leave you with a few more pics that i have worked on *smiles*

where ive been hiding...

in paintshop pro.. why? simple because im learning how to do the little things *lol* i know some must be tired of my facebook posts of *pictures i played with* but ah such is life i suppose.. truth is i learned how to do something *new* and im having fun playing with it..
now i think i need to read some more tutorials about how to do different other things so i can play around some more..
so yeah thats where i have been ~ want a pre-view of what i learned? let me see here...

thats my edited version and this is my original ..

not to bad if i do say so myself.. so far i think one of my favorites is this one..

and this one

so yeah if you want to know where i am, paintshop pro is probably the answer *lol*

as for life, its been its usual self, tomorrow is the last day of school for the boys, i cant believe its here already and the day i find out whats going to happen with wyatt.. i suppose once we see we will decide the best route for us to take come next year, at least we have a few months to decide.. its a hard decision to home school or not, not because i dont think i can do it, because i know i can, i just know how much he loves school and seeing his friends etc. thats what makes the decision a hard one.

wyatt doctor update

wyatt had his follow up appointment today with his doctor and of course his ear still looks like yuck, so they changed his medicine so that it wouldnt affect his belly the way the other medication was. needless to say we have another follow up appointment on the 16th of this month to see how things are looking.
you know the funny thing about the meds is, the first one they had him on was well over $100.00 and he had to take 3 teaspoons twice a day.. the new med that his doctors office put him on, was only $40.00 and he only needs 2 teaspoons twice a day. were still doing the ear drops as well.
after we left the doctors office, we headed to the wooden park in morehead city, one of my favorite parks! okay one of the kids favorite parks as well. it was owens first time going and of course little ron had finals today so he missed out (although i dont think its something he was ready to hang me over). owen seemed to enjoy the new park and we had it all to ourselves which makes sense because most other kids were in school im sure.
owen giggled and laughed at me when i went down the slides behind him and wyatt had so much fun showing owen around. there is so much there to see, im sure it was a slight bit overwhelming for owen. but he had a ball thats for sure!
the wooden park is actually a very interesting and cool project that was completed years ago, it was a bit sad to see some of the stuff needing to be replaced and/or fixed that hadnt been yet, its just starting to show its age. anyways the park was built by all volunteers and all of the items used were donated and recycled items. along the outside of the play area you will see names on the fences and in other various places throughout the park of the people who donated both items and time in putting the park together. it of course has a beach theme .. you walk in through the *castle* well under it, there is a *light house* area and well just so much to list.
in the summers and on the weekends you will see the park just over flowing with kids and families just enjoying the day. and if you stand on the top floor of the light house, you can look down the road and see the water which is kind of a neat aspect to it i think.

after the park we stopped and fed the kids lunch at burger king before heading to walgreens to pick up wyatts prescription and than home. i thought owen would take a nap .. a late nap but a nap none the less.. however he refused to sit with me and get comphy on the couch to fall asleep. needless to say this found me at 7pm with an over tired, extra crabby cute little man. he crawled up in my lap and fell fast asleep.. so i gave him only 15 minutes, tried to convince him that a bath would be fun but he would only sleepishly shake his head *no*.. so than i asked him if he wanted to go *outside* and he was up and ready to go in 2.2 seconds! we spent a bit of time just wandering around the backyard and playing before coming back in the house for a bath and a snack before bed.. not long after that he was out for the night. wyatt was right behind him in the sleep thing which is good since he has school in the morning and wake up time comes early..
i jumped in the shower after they were both now and i am currently relaxing and getting ready to head that way myself. well after i spend a bit of time with my hubba!

oh what a night

Oh, what a night, late December back in '63
What a very special time for me
As I remember what a night!
Oh what a night,
You know I didn't even know her name
But I was never gonna be the same
What a lady, what a night!
Oh, I got a funny feeling when she walked in the room
And I, as I recall it ended much too soon
Oh what a night,

hahaha just teasing ;)

today was one of them days.. owen was into everything. i think i have said *no* a zillion times today, taken him off the table a half dozen times, chased him and dealt with the ever so lovely temper fits that a one year old can have .. fun fun fun!

wyatt was flopping between being wild and being sweet .. so needless to say he kept me hoping! tomorrow he has a follow up on his ears and to find out if we are going to discontinue his medications or change them, poor guy is having some ill effects from his antibiotic that he is on now *insert sad face here*

little ron has been pretty good all evening, the rest of the week and i believe monday as well will be short days for him because he has his finals so that means half day classes at most (from 9-12) *fingers crossed* he does good on his finals.. i think im nervous enough for the both of us..
but of course in this house of characters, a night cant end so quietly.. apparently little ron decided to open his bedroom window and ended up putting his hand through the glass, luckly he made it without a scratch however thats one piece of glass that needs to be replaced and a mess for me to clean out of the window sill in the morning .. with the boys red light in their room you cant see a thing so i secured everything to clean up tomorrow when i can actually see what im doing.

rons working tonight again, it was supposed to be his night off but none the less he got called in to cover a shift.. thinking positive though since its all going to be over time *smiles* we are still waiting to hear from pepsi to see about his application but i think its going to be a while yet as they are still trying to make heads or tales of the guy who did the application stuffs office .. he sadly passed away just after ron submitted his application. so until we hear anything we just wait and wait and wait some more!

on a sad note i understand that our neighbors have taken their pup to the guys parents house until he is out of the military? im not sure what its all about but i have a feeling that the little one had an accident (did they expect her to come potty trained?) and the lady had a fit for having to clean it up.. i could be wrong though, maybe they got busted with her being there after all it is a pet free rental so who knows.. all i know is that days after bringing her *home* they were packing her up and taking her to the guys parents house for a while .. im sure clyde will miss his new buddy.

am i

the only one who truly *gets it* or do i just see things so far differently than how other people see them? not in anything particular but it seems like everytime i see things one way theres a zillion people seeing it in a different light and it makes no sense to me how they can see it that way.
i think ron is the only one who truly gets how i see things.. how it all makes sense in my head..
maybe i just simplify things to much for others to comprehend? maybe i just live to much by the saying *keep it simple stupid*
there is no reason to complicate life at all.. so why do so many try to twist things to complicate it vs seeing it as simple as they can?
i know this makes no sense to most, maybe it will to some.. and i suppose all that matters is *we are who we are* and not someone fake.. but i just dont get it.
i will continue to see things simply to not over think or whatever a situation that i might be in. maybe someday someone will *get it* maybe they never will.. but in the end as long as i do i suppose thats all that matters huh?