its weird seeing photos of him so young (grade school) or as a baby.. ive never seen them before..
im at a loss for words on what to think of this.. i mean it deff gives me more things to share with my boys .. a chance to look a bit more into him as a child (he did horrible in school btw) but still.. i am just at a loss..
dad has been gone for so many years..
its also weird because for the first time im seeing that i had a 5th birthday party. i know it sounds weird to say that.. but its true, i never knew i did.. i have very few memories of when i was little and to see me there.. with family and friends and a cake and all that.. its just *odd* .. almost like peeking into someone elses life.
i suppose its just going to take a while for all of this to sink in..
but i am very grateful to have a few more things to share with my boys about a grandfather they never got the chance to know.. a man who myself never really understood and felt unexcepted by .. a man who i wish had never been there vs being a guy who wanted someone to show us off when the time was right..
life is what it is.. memories and a past i have to live with.. knowing he is gone and how he passed.. but its the small things that i will cherish and share with my boys..
