Merry Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas eve, and of course Merry Christmas day too since chances are i wont be on tomorrow to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!
the last few days have been beyond crazy around here but what else is new come this time of year ~
first of all about a week ago mother goes into this HUGE blah blah blah about how she just has to give my sister $80 for christmas (at least that much) for her boys.. but yet im here covering mother for my boys again this year. i dont have an issue doing it but please i mean we really dont have it but we always do the best we can. not that my boys would care that she bought them anything or not but i know it makes her feel better that my boys open something from her under the tree, so i just buy whatever and put her name on it kwim? its not like it is in any way taking away from my boys and it makes her happy that she knows they opened something from her.. but i would lie if i said it didnt bother me that she worries about getting cash to my sister (i mean her husband does get a christmas bonus but ron never does) i guess its the whole point of if we can work it out why cant they be just as understanding of mothers financial state as the rest of us are? it was all kinda brought to head today on my facebook page (one reason why i dont really care to have family on my facebook page because to be quite honest i dont want the bullshit) but yeah there it was on my page about how mom didnt give her money whine whine whine.. join the rest of the group.. your kids are 18 and almost 17.. i have a 17 yr old, 9 yr old and a 2 yr old if they can get it, im sure yours can as well.
to top off the typical holiday brew-haha that makes me think everyone should get Prozac for Christmas..
mothers fridge died last saturday and i have spent a good bit of the beginning of the week hunting down and pricing fridges for her. finally found one and she got it.. well actually me, the wildabeast, and little ron went and picked it up for her and carried it to her house. we got that all set up and she is good to go on that end of things.
ron and i got all the christmas shopping done. now we are waiting for the lil ones to drift off to sleep and waiting for santa to arrive.. they are both watching some christmas cartoons now.
have a very merry chirstmas and i really hope every ones is the best one ever.. only mere days before the new year is here! be safe everyone..

santa claus is freaking me out

he looks innocent enough dont he? white beard, perfect white gloves, red hat, rosy cheeks, holly jolly laugh, and you know a belly that wiggles and jiggles like a bowl full of jello..
but yes, sad as it is, its true.. santa is seriously freaking me out this year!
it kinda started when i saw this advertisement for this santa claus thing on facebook which is obviously someone who is positing updates for santa, after all i mean lets face it the real santa, much to busy this time of year with his elves and gearing up for the big run on christmas eve to be hanging out on facebook right?
anyways all i could think is *wow thats kinda nuts, folks talking to this *santa* and not knowing who this person really is..
and to think they were worried about pedophiles over taking facebook because of a cartoon character for your profile picture thing not long ago. now im NOT saying this santa is a pedophile but you get what i am saying? or at least i hope you do.. the fact is how does anyone know who it is that hides behind the white beard, red hat, holly jolly exterior? the fact is you dont.
so like a good smart girl, i opted to stay clear of that facebook page that i heard so much about.. i mean yeah i checked it out from a distance (curiosity) but thats where it ends..
and than the other night, i ran to walmart.. and there in the in-store mcdonalds i saw him.. santa claus sitting there next to the decorated christmas tree.
im sure all day long parents walk by and point out to their kids *oh look its santa claus*, but me.. nope i was not one of them parents.. all i could do is think *did they sex offender search that guy?*

i dunno what to do about it, i cant help it now, when i see one thats all i think about.. *ack* something tells me, im gonna be on this years naughty list.

huffy bike review

now i decided to review this one because it needs to be out there not to waste your money and to be honest as a mom im damn well pissed off that my youngin is stuck with this piece of crap bike and thats putting it mighty nicely for how i feel about this stupid thing that has been nothing more than a headache for me since date of purchase a few months back.

this is the huffy panama jack bike .. little ron bought it a few months back (over the summer) when he was clamming and making money. he saved for a good bit and finally had enough cash to make his purchase.. the over all look of the bike is good, i mean there was some good attention to details and we had to laugh that on the front wheel thingy (sorry im not good at technical terms but the thing that hold the front wheel on) is in fact a bottle opener. the pouch in the front we though would be great for him carrying his various fishing stuff (extra hooks and what not) when he wasnt hauling the whole tackle box and the cup holder another added bonus ..
unfortunately thats where the good kinda leaves this bike .. within the first 2 days of owning it, there was no way we could keep the chain on the stupid thing. it got more and more irritating as the days went on and so on day 3 we (mother and i) loaded it into the back of her durango and carried the stupid thing back to walmart and (stupidly now as i look back on it) exchanged it for a new but same as bike.. funny how days later we saw his original bike up for sale at a not so greatly reduced price..
well if only we had known because i would have returned the stupid bike and gotten his money back that first time but noo i thought *woohoo bike fixed were all good* bike number 2 however had some serious issues with the back wheel, theres this little metal piece that you need to keep the wheel on that unfortunately dont stay on. by now were outta our walmart return time and into huffy territory. so i contacted huffy and the man was great on the phone manged to figure out what i needed when i couldnt speak bike talk very well .. for that i was impressed.. however telling me that the new rear wheel (minus tube) would be out in a few days .. was a complete lie.. a month later i was back on the phone with huffy wanting to know when i would receive the piece i was told i was getting, i mean did they deliver it to the wrong house? thats when i was told that the part would be to me as soon as they got it from their over seas manufacture .. um okay, so now we have had this stupid bike sitting here looking like a lawn ornament vs actual time spent riding the stupid thing..
finally 2 weeks aprox. after that phone call the part shows up.. woohoo my youngin can start using this over priced bike that he bought with his hard earned money..
until.. can you guess? 2 days later the same exact problem we had before starts happening again, that stupid part is falling out, the chain wont stay on at all.. and my youngin is just flipping fed up!
so as all good moms do, i phoned huffy again and explained what all we had been threw with the dumb bike and could i please just get a refund, they could gladly have the POS back.. but nope i was informed that they only send out parts, they will not refund money *great* and to call where i bought it at..
so i get on the phone with walmart (place of purchase) and talk to a lady there who tells me *sorry its huffys problem, if its over X amount of days than we dont do refunds.. great! so now i have this lovely POS bike just rusting away (btw thats another thing they might want to fix because this less than 6 month old bike has so much rust on it, it looks like weve owned it for about 5 years) in the back yard under a cover.
so my advice, dont waste you money, dont let your kids waste their money and surely dont think that huffy stands behind their products.
back to mongoose we go and where we will stay, we learned our lesson very well on this purchase and i hope that someone learns from what we went threw.

as always i didnt receive anything from huffy for doing this review nor do i expect to however a refund would be nice but im not holding my breath on that one ever, maybe i should email them a link to my blog review of their bike *haha* yeah right, they dont even have an email to contact them at.. this is simply my buyer beware review ~

two turkeys for thanksgiving

yeah a bit late of an add for this one but ah well.. life normally gets in the way so im trying to catch up a bit!
so for thanksgiving we had two turkeys .. mainly because the kids and i beg ron to smoke one on the grill every year and the other because the old religious one hates the taste of the smoked turkey and is always insistent on shoving a bird in the oven. we have always kept and open door policy on holidays for everyone who wants to stop by but over the years our group of folks who come by has cut down a bit, this year we lost aunt b because her family is staying with her now so they opted to have their own holiday there at home vs coming here to the house.
of course chris stopped by and enjoyed turkey dinner with us but honestly after 16 almost 17 years of knowing him a holiday just dont feel right without him here.

so what do you do with two 20+ pound turkeys and lots and lots of leftovers. a normal person i suppose would take and cut the turkey off the bone and freeze some of it for later meals but nope not in this house its all about the left overs. which this year for the first time sent us spinning into turkey hell and the 5 days of turkey dinners..

day 1 was of course thanksgiving itself. turkey with all the thanksgiving fixings to go with it.

day 2 was your typical left over turkey dinner.. complete with the fighting over the leftover thanksgiving fixings. ever notice how they always tend to disappear long before the turkey does?

day 3 was turkey and gravy over rice.. hence leading to no more turkey gravy in the house at all *lol*

day 4 was rons creation, turkey bbq using not your red sauce bbq (think like KC Masterpiece) but instead a nice NC bbq which is vinegar based .. i wish i could remember which one we used but i for the life of me cant *sorry* when i find the name of it i will share i promise. anyways ron stood and picked the meat off the bone and tossed it into the crock pot, let it slow cook all day long than after so long he added the sauce in and let it slow cook some more. now i admit i was even a bit scared of the idea, i mean turkey bbq? but in all honesty it was really really good. just toss it on some hamburger buns and your good to go.

day 5 was because i wasnt thrilled of the other option for dinner this night so i opted for turkey bbq dinner day 5 which lead me to 5 days of turkey hell *lol* im currently voting for prime rib for chirstmas, i do believe i am completely turkey'd out this year!

Little ron turns 17

yep its true.. my little ron is no longer so little but of course like with every mom he will always be my baby :)

little ron turned 17 on November 10th ~ he picked out his own cake, only my child would pick an older than dirt cake at age 17 *lol*

i have to admit that i am very proud of the young man he is becoming. still an avid fisherman and is always down at the water when ever he gets a chance. he got the chance to go net fishing with *uncle* chris a few times so far this winter and seems to enjoy it. he went on thanksgiving day and again the sunday after.

Need Christmas Cards?

Who isnt on the look out for a good christmas card deal this time of year? well you all saw my stuff on shutterfly and yes i got my cards this week. but i have a few friends who dont blog and arent able to take up shutterfly on their great christmas card deal they have going on.
so for those friends i wasnt sure how i could help them this year until i went to where i got my cards from last year which was seehere .. if you go there and sign up for a new account you get 25 cards for free (well you have to pay shipping costs). you can create them however you want and all you need to do is use promo code 25cards at checkout. its an awesome deal for sure!

Awesome deal

I couldnt help but passing on an awesome deal

I was at walmart the other day and i admit it i was tipped off on this one by a friend (thanks jess) and yes this is an awesome deal :)

now when your out and about see if you can find this gift pack, they had some variations of it but the main thing is that it has to cost you $10 and it has to have the allure magazine offer on the front (see the sticker??)

so this is how this one works, you find this and you purchase it so yeah it cost you money up front. when you get home take the allure thing out of the box (should be a small form thing up behind the puff in the box at least thats where mine was located at) theres a code on it and a website to visit. go to that website and read the fine print on it.. not the up top mumbo jumbo but the fine print (will be on page 3 when you print it out)
by not taking the magazine offer, you can mail in page 3 of the form filled out with your name and address, a copy of your reciept, and the card in the box .. and they will send you a refund check of $9.99

so yes i got the whole set after mail in rebate for 1 cent. now how can you seriously pass up all of that for a penny??

christmas 2010

Merry And Glee Christmas 5x7 folded card

Make a statement with custom Christmas cards at Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

This is the christmas card i made on shutterfly, i cant wait for them to come in so i can get them mailed out to friends and family :)

Jen's Wreaths

The other day i did a blog post about jen's wreaths .. well today i received my Wreath from Jen and let me tell you it is simply perfect.
now as i said before, i have tried my luck at wreath making in the past and no where near what the quality or amazing'ness of jens wreaths. i first decided i would make my attempt at getting *crafty* making my own wreath a few years ago and i grabbed one of them grape vine looking wreaths you know the kind.. like this

than i would take all the clippings from trimming the tree (and even steal some from where we bought the tree at from where they did some trimming) and would shove them in the grape vine one.. slap a bow on it and call it a wreath..

but the one from jen's wreaths is no brenda back yard how to make a wreath, this is the real deal. i wish my picture could give it justice but i know it wont show the full beauty of it or even come close to showing it.. but i just have to show it off so heres my Jen's wreath

like i said it wont give it the justice it deserves at all, but its my photographic abilities or the lack there of to blame on that one..
and the craftsmanship OMG i just honestly dont know how someone with talent like she has can sell them so cheap! its just amazing..
if you havent checked her out yet, i honestly hope you do.. both on her web page and on her facebook page.. she has amazing talent, you will NOT be sorry by looking at it and shes running amazing facebook deals these days! so do stop by and check her out!

Jen a huge Thank You from me to you for the wonderful wreath you sent me! i simply love it, its perfect, smells oh so good and everything from the wreath itself, the emails, the package'ing, etc was simply top notch!

Christmas Cards from Shutterfly

Ive used various sites to print photos and to make my christmas cards each year, this year im looking into the ones offered by shutterfly other than being a very well known company (i mean seriously who hasnt heard of shutterfly?) they are also offering a very nice selection of holiday cards this year. the hardest part for me is making the decision on which one to use.
Now im not sure about you but i know for me, this is the one time of year that my family and friends who live far away get caught up on our goings on and a chance to really show them how much our kids have grown. lets face it with today in this day in age were all kinda technology dependent however not everyone has internet access or even a computer (i know gasp hard to believe on that one).
but its also the time of year where money is tight because your preparing for all the holidays to come and well for me that includes what i call my end of year mad dash, so im always on the hunt for that perfect deal.. this year im finding that deal on shutterfly and i cant wait to make these wonderful cards to send to my family and friends, of course as always i will be posting an updated blog post to show you just how nice they came out.. plus what a better chance to show off a picture of my guys?
you want to see the awesome photo cards at great prices im talking about? simply go to this link *shutterfly christmas cards* to check out all of their photo card designs and prices.
not so big on the *christmas cards* and just looking for a holiday card? well than check out this link where you can check out some amazing holiday cards
looking for that perfect gift? than check out some of their awesome photo gifts they have, lets face it what mom or dad, grandma or grandpa wouldnt love a photo mug or other gift of their favorite person in their life.. check them out by going to this link
i hope you deff take a look at these offers they have going on this christmas/holiday season because i know i will be!!

Baby PipSqueak Review

like i said before i love facebook for great opportunities to do different things. one night i was sitting up doing nothing much at all and decided to play in a flash giveaway.. well i normally never win but on this particular night i scored a $15 gift card of sorts to an online store called Baby PipSqueak. yep this is where it all began!
i notified the company and the next thing i know, i was involved in the most awesome customer service experience ever.. from the start i was really liking this site just from the emails back and forth between me and the owner. i went threw her online store and was searching high and low and i came across these re-usable wipes/wash clothes. i opted for the double sided ones at an awesome price ($5.00 for 5 so only $1.00 each) than i selected one of her awesome reusable sandwich bags .. i posted my order and being a mom of all boys, selected the boys print on the wipes/wash clothes.. well i was kinda surprised when she asked what i wanted for the sandwich bag, i really didnt realize there was a choice.. so i selected boys again.. and she told me that she only had girls and one polka dot one well honestly im not very fussy so i told her the polka dot one would be fine even though her husband said it wasnt *manly* enough for a boy or if she wanted to i would wait for one of her more boy ones (one she would have to make) but it was totally up to her, whatever was easier for her. but how sweet of her to ask! she also asked since i had a credit left if i would like her to toss in another set of the wipes.. wow!

well today they came in the mail and all i can say is simply AWESOME! if anything would honestly make me consider going to the more *greener* side of parenting it was her stuff.. and this is the time i wish you could rub your computer and feel the quality of her work, the softness of the wipes but not so soft your fingers gonna poke threw it but yet strong and not itchy scratchy your kiddo is gonna scream threw the entire diaper changing experience kinda deal. which honestly before i received these i was kinda expecting.. i mean how can a wipe that is reusable be both soft yet strong and really make you want to use them? but yep these are just simply perfect and the boy design well who wouldnt be happy to use them? they are too cute! and lets face it who dont love cute?? but cute and functional.. can you honestly tell im in love with her wipes *hahaha*
im also a very logical person when it comes to money and to think the amount i have put out in disposable wipes is kinda making me kick myself in the rear right now.. considering one 3 pack of pampers runs me roughly $10.00 and i go threw these every 2 weeks .. well now ive figured thats (and heres the kicker) $520 in total on wipes in the last 2 years alone .. kinda makes you want to faint dont it? it does me. specially when you do the amount of laundry that i do per week and to think i can just use the reusable ones and toss them in the wash and walla all clean again and ready to go!

now for the super cute sandwich bag.. again im in LOVE *lol* first of all its owls and perfect for my boys! and it has a velcro flap on it to seal and reseal.. its easily cleaned and yes even with this it was skeptical for me because well I always imagine the worst.. i mean i just saw shoving my kids sandwich in something made of a felt like material and him pulling threads off of it (hey im honest this is what i thought) but this is perfectly lined on the inside with a material that reminds me much of the inside lining of my sons lunch box but yet not so plastic'y feeling. the sewing on it is awesome and there are no raw edges to be found now from a woman who cant sew a straight line and has this special ability to sew the top thread to the bobbin thread without hitting the material in the middle, well its just amazing and awesomely done! i wish i had her sewing abilities thats for sure. but lucky for me there are ladies out there like baby pipsqueak that do these things so i can purchase them at great deals cost wise. the sandwich bag cost wise is only a low $8.00 for something you can use over and over again.. unlike the plastic bags you buy for $3 or $4 a box to have to keep replacing them. for the cost it would be to buy your youngin a different sandwich bag each day of the week, you could have different designs for every day and it would still be an awesome bargain in the long run.

now i never told baby pipsqueak i was going to do this review.. and i wasnt paid and didnt receive anything for free to do it nor would i expect that, its just a flash giveaway win i was lucky enough to get and in the end, i love to talk about products i really like that i receive! So that is why i decided to do this.. check out her website you wont be sorry or even go check her out on facebook at baby pipsqueak tell her i sent you or dont (honestly it dont matter) but you wont be sorry when it comes to her products.. shes really made this mama do some thinking today on where im dumping money when i could have totally awesome things that will not only save me money, but be stylish and cute and are quality made products!

Christmas Wreaths

Well ive already said the word christmas once so why not again? i love my facebook page with it many opportunities come into find the perfect things for christmas .. one of which is an awesome Wreath for your door.. but where you ask? ah thats simple!
i recently came across http://www.jenswreaths.com/ if that link dont take you to the awesome site, try this one Christmas Wreaths
i have to say im a traditional kinda wreath girl myself and many years i have tried to put one of these together, i will spare you the photographs of what came out from my attempts *scary* and yeah there was that year my sweet mother in law decided to make me that plastic wreath all decked out with pine cones (can we say disaster?) truth is, i do enjoy christmas and decorating things and getting the house all ready and smelling good. however i have about the crafting ability of a toad so I am always on the hunt for something that is beautifully made, crafted and just gives the house that extra *touch* for the holiday season but without making the hubbas wallet shiver in fear *lol*
okay so why Jens Wreaths, simple they are not only beautiful but reasonably priced. she has everything your looking for from center pieces to swags to the wreaths themselves. and these arent your typical *plastic* Wreaths, nope these are the real deals.. check out her about page and read up on where jens Wreaths started from and how their business has grown but how it still is the same family owned business that it always was which is awesome!
got questions? check out the FAQ's page where everything you can think of is answered.. also check out Jens Wreaths on facebook an awesome new facebook page that has just recently started up where you can really get to know the folks behind the Wreaths.
These would make a wonderful decoration to your own home, a great gift to send that loved one to let them know your thinking about them, etc etc etc.. i can think of a million uses for such a perfect wreath!

the great christmas card hunt

yeah i said it the C word.. Chirstmas and of course with christmas comes christmas cards.. now mind you this is about the only time of year that family gets to see pics of the kiddos.. not talking grandparents but you know the extended that live out of town etc..
so this is when i start hunting down the best deals in christmas photo cards that i can personalize with my kids pics and have them what im looking for .. im also no photo genius although i do like to dabble in photoshop im far from the best of the best ..
anyways with cost i also consider how much this is going to cost me in stamps to send out christmas cards of the kids, lets face it the USPS is not our friend when it comes to the cost of postage and when you start adding up aunts and uncles and what not, well that little pocket change gets up there in cost..

so anyways.. i cant never beat anything more so than free.. so i was bouncing around the net like i always do and i stumbled across this Free chirstmas cards from shutterfly for bloggers so i signed up.. waiting to see what the email says.. and i guess we will go from there .. fun fun fun! tis the season to be jolly.. well almost *lol*

who is next?

wyatt had a belly bug starting last weekend and finally is over his belly bug. after 5 days of missed school he was able to go back and doing well other than of course our nightly homework battles *geeshes* you would think he would know that no matter what, homework will be done so just get it done!

owen now has wyatts belly bug *argh* so the question of today is who is next? surely not me i hope. but yes today is day 2 of the worst of it.. mr lay on the couch all day looking sad and crying at anything and everything .. poor bubba! i hope he is better soon. at least hes up and about right now just running around the house well not running running but you know what i mean.
i need to figure out what to attempt to get him to eat for dinner, needless to say *food* hasnt been on the short list today for him but hes got to eat. maybe some yogurt.

not else has been going on really.. just the same old same *blah*

super stoked

well yesturday/last night i was hanging out online and searching down the newest freebie offers i could. when i come across this contest *hmm* so i go and read what it says..
simple, the 2000th person who likes their page is the winner of a shirt ~ cool i can do that
but also the person who referred that person wins something, a jacket *very cool*

so of course i go and get my partner in crime *haha* and i tell her *look i found this site, and this is the deal, they are at number 1996 .. * and i go on to explain the contest.
i mean its always a coin toss.. so she is sitting there and shes watching the contest to now, both of us watching the numbers slowly click up.. finally 1998 and i dunno who clicked what but sure enough it went from number 1998 to 2001 in like no time.. than the site magically slowed down.. 15 minutes later it was at 2008 and someone was cheering *2000 woohoo* uh what? no hun, sorry your 2008 at least..

anyways.. so the wait is on.. now i wont lie, i clearly expected streamers to fall and confetti and someone saying *congrats ... you are our 2000th winner*

well honestly i seriously thought i was number 2000 .. even my partner in crime was saying it to *girl you so got this* haha but truth is, nope i didnt get it.. but she did! and guess who referred her? yours truly *big smiles*

so yes last night my partner in crime was messaged and told *congrats your our winner* and today i got *congrats your the winners referrer* now im super stoked!

also if you follow my facebook you will see where i am now posting what i receive daily in the line of freebies .. grant it there are many i dont put in for because i really dont have any use for 12000 shampoo samples but i do go for the *good stuff* as i see it *lol*
today i got in my bounce shirt which i am super stoked to have in finally *smiles* i want to thank terra for starting the whole idea of posting what you get in .. its a really great idea! i cant wait to see what comes in monday!

Learning to let go

learning to let go.. does NOT mean giving up. let me make that clear from the get go.
i have been holding on to baby clothes, and baby items from the time owen was born, some from even when wyatt was born. maybe it sounds crazy to some people but to me it was just what made sense, i mean we fully plan to have another baby (if were so lucky to ever see that bfp) and that hasnt changed in any way. we still intend to keep trying and hoping for the bfp. however, i just cant see the point into holding onto everything any more, i have to start letting go. which is what i have started doing. i have started listing all of the baby close on a fb page for sale (bubbas closet) i had all intentions of doing it on blogger as well but yeah thats not working out so well just yet *haha* i have just a small bit left to list and have decided on only keeping 3 outfits that i just cant seem to part with just yet.
the big thing is the bigger stuff, the high chair, the pack and play, the swing, etc and although i wont be listing those online (shipping wise its just not worth it) i am thinking of maybe yardsale'n them and what dont sell donating to a local resale shop thats proceeds go to helping folks in need (which btw i have done with some of the clothing as well).
were not planning on stopping our ttc stuff anytime soon but maybe i just need to let go of a few things. things are just that *things* things that can be replaced and upgraded. i do however plan to hold onto my crib until we are completely done with ttc, but its safely stored so im not worried or concerned much about anything happening with it.
so thats what im doing now.. letting go but not giving up. maybe if i let go, a bfp will happen sooner rather than later.

a much needed trip

now while i would love to say that our well needed trip was to some fancy exotic location .. hell i cant even say we went to some local tourist trap attraction.. our much need trip was to none other than the hundred dollar store (better known as walmart)
ah but what an exciting trip it was.. i cant even recall the last time we had the joys of walking through the walmart doors.. but i can tell you its been long enough to leave me showing using the man soap ron cant stand and the baby conditioner i pick up for mr bed head since his hair is so long and i want to keep it from tangling up on him. ah yes bad it was indeed.. things were running increasingly thin and most know that its something i try to avoid happening but i suppose from time to time its bound to happen. thankfully everything is now restocked.. until next time at least!
on our way to walmart we stopped off at a few garage sales.. didnt find a whole lot. but thats kinda my fault for not moving my ass this morning when ron called me the 12 times he did.. well i did move it just it wasnt to get on my feet but rather to roll over and go back to sleep *haha* .. yeah sorry baby!
after we left walmart we decided to swing by the flea market.. we know better i mean its crazy how a flea market used to be *a place to get good deals from people wanting to get rid of what they saw as trash* to now what it has become *an open aired antique mall* or *just like walmart prices* i mean seriously if i wanted to pay big money id either hit the antique stores or walmart store itself.. whatever happened to deals?
i do have to admit it was kinda strange though, the more we walked through the flea market the more i happened to notice that the folks walking by me looked more and more like people you would see in a carnival side show.. does that sound odd? i mean im not trying to be *mean* its just an observation.. although i must admit it is your one stop shop for whatever you need.. shampoo get it from the vender on the right.. need some video games.. go to the vender on the left.. need some avon.. they got it! .. want your belly button pierced? youve come to the right place *lol*

that was pretty much the extent of our excitement today.. now im sitting here trying to keep my eyes open .. however a nap sure does sound good about right now!

lifes simple pleasures

why did i title my blog this? i mean of the millions of names out there that i could come up with .. why this one?
because to me thats what life is about .. the simple pleasures!
i dont need a million dollars or a mansion tucked somewhere high in the hills.. i need the simple things that bring a smile to my heart and my face..
it gets me sometimes when i see folks talk about what they dont have.. i mean i get the whole aspect from it and i understand why they do.. they are venting and letting it all out which is totally understandable. but in truth, you only get out of something what you put into it.
if you jump in and do your very best.. work hard.. love like no other and life like today is your last, and you look for the small things that bring that smile to you, you will be happy and life will be grand.
i try not to put to much into the bad and more into the good.. the funny jokes the kids will tell that arent really all that funny but you laugh because their laughter is so contagious. the fact that my husband has held some jobs that many would feel were to good for them and yet he did it.. not for anything other than the fact that he did it for us!
yes i get annoyed who doesnt? but hell we have been through it all.. we have gone without and always put the kids first.. their needs and even some wants.. i was looking over photos the other day .. old pictures from our kids growing up and how happy i am to have the memories that we do.. and looking forward to making many many more!
i dont care what it is that your facing in life today, take a moment and think about the simple things in life that put that smile on your face.. theres always something positive to see! you just sometimes have to look a bit harder as reality likes to toss what there isnt in your face a bit more than what is.
if you work hard and do your very best than you will reap the rewards for that.. i dont care if its some job at a gas station or flipping burgers at mcdonalds .. or in my husbands case.. being the guy to picked the pine cones and sticks out of pine straw so that it can be bailed for sale.
weve been on top of the world with buying our own home, having the brand new car in our driveway.. to having everything we own minus a few things stuck in a storage shed and no vehicle to drive and depending on others.
the fact is.. we are ultimately the only ones in control of where our future goes and its our job to learn from our own past mistakes.. its our job to make our dreams come true and no one else can do it for us.
we have learned, we continue to learn, and i hope we will always learn from bad decisions we made.
our life isnt always perfect but hell as many times as we get knocked down we will brush ourselves off, get back up, hold our heads high and try again!

sunday sunday sunday

what a way to wake up.. bigger boys at it again. why must they fight over the oddest of things? todays choice was a video game.. something about wyatt wanting to play on little rons game and little ron saying no! ah you would have thought the world was coming to an end the way it was going down when i woke up *grr*
as for now.. little ron is back outside working on his boat.. i think ron is secretly cringing to the fact that yesterday the wildabeast and little ron started painting his john boat using the $102 primer and now they are putting the black bottom paint on it which is costing $200 or so.. yeah.. its a HUGE cringe in that aspect.. this paint that was supposed to go on the bottom of his atlantic is now being plastered all over the bottom and sides of his aluminum john boat.. but ah what can you say to the wildabeast? not a damn thing without him running off in a tissy fit!
yes i think the tensions are running high around here these last few days.. im left dreaming of our own place and getting the heck out of here .. *soon* cant happen fast enough for me thats for sure, but the facts are that its not something were willing to blindly jump into without a concrete plan. sure the want for that decision on the whim is always there but its not something im willing to jump into blindly.
tomorrow i need to send in a note to wyatts teacher and sometime tonight go over with him again the things that happened on fridays bus ride home *argh* the things that lead up to my boy coming into the house, putting his backpack on and than loosing it and just bawling on the couch until i could get out of him what was wrong.. breaks my heart to see him so sad and so hurt.. wyatt wears his heart on his sleeve always has always will. but to see his heart so hurt makes mine hurt so much.
so the friday incident was this..
they were on the bus headed home from school when another boy wouldnt leave his hands off the back of the seat behind wyatts head.. wyatt kept telling him to move his hands.. the kid wouldnt listen to him.. wyatt started to move his hands off the seat and the kid only put them back.. well at one point in time wyatt moved his hands and i guess accidentally hit him. according to wyatt it wasnt hard or intentional.. but of course some little girl told on wyatt for hitting the boy and than came back and told wyatt he was going to have to go see the principle on monday. which put wyatt into tears ~
i told him to just be honest with the principle on everything that happened and we will go from there.. guess i will see what a phone call or a note home brings on monday after school.. we all know how much the principle loves me from last years IEP meeting with wyatt .. so lets see if she loves me more when we discuss the incident on the bus *fun fun fun*

Never forget 9/11/01

is it friday yet?

im seriously beginning to hate the alarm clock .. although i must say that most mornings i dont hear it go off.. maybe i sleep through it, maybe its ron cutting it off before i wake up .. i havent a clue although i have been accused of kicking ron when his alarm went off at 5:30am *sorry baby*

anyways today has been filled with fun interesting things.. first of all i have been up since o'dark hundred and not been able to jump in the shower because im waiting on the bug guy to get here.. asked what time he would be here and i get told *i guess about the normal time* well gee next time can i have an hour? because it makes doing up my daily schedule so much easier..
needless to say.. this left me sitting here until nearly 2:30pm waiting for him to show up *argh* no shower now.. gotta wait on buses, get homework done.. maybe i can get in there sometime before the hubba gets home from work?

my phones dead.. so i couldnt call mom to find out how she is doing.. and so i ask someone to run down there for me.. mother shows up and she has a tooth infection.. crap just what she needs. no job, living off unemployment which is a joke, no insurance and walla here have this! another thing to add to my list of *if there is a god things i need to seriously talk to him about*

while waiting to talk to her.. owen was alone in the kitchen and i heard the fridge open .. nothing new hes a daily shopper for things to get.. he likes to go in and grab cheese etc.. well what happens? i hear this strange noise and the brand new carton of 18 eggs.. all over the floor! *argh* gotta love him! so i start to clean it up and hes trying to help but i had him stand over to the side so i could get it done... when the old religious one walks in and says *hey maybe we can stick it in a bowl and salvage them* EEEWWWW um NO .. i mean HELL NO they were all over the floor.. we have a dog and cats .. yuck.. yeah GROSS.. needless to say i made sure all were disposed of safely in the trash can! FYI never eat eggs out of a bowl in this house.. you never know where they have been at *wink wink* haha

the other thing on my mind is aunt R sent me an email yesterday.. short (maybe in fear of me having to tell her off again?) but she just basically said that grandpa D's 3rd wife passed away (i had only met the woman once) .. still not sure why the need to let me know.. maybe she was just trying to be nice.. just keep it to that.
but she added to it that uncle R is currently engaged but she dont know the extent of it or something because hes only been with E for like 2 months.. um okay are we serious here? i mean family gossip.. i mean i know when the youngest uncle R had gotten married to the black girl that was like HUGE gossip for the family *rolls eyes* but now this uncle R (yeah i know confusing but hey thats what happens when your grandparents have 6 kids whose names all start with the letter R) .. anways the oldest uncle R is like top family gossip i suppose..
in all honestly the oldest uncle R is like 56/57 years old and im sure he is more than capable of getting married if he chooses.. geesh people!

mailbox christmas

i love when my mailbox feels more like christmas than a bill warehouse.. but than again who wouldnt love that? i mean even if you have ordered something seeing that bigger envelope bulging out or that package just makes you all giddy inside dont it?
unfortunately i do not have it in me to spend money.. i can window shop all day long but beyond that.. i seriously have no interest unless its something i need.. i have no interest or desire to go into the mall.. i am seriously perfectly fine just going to the jc penney and out again without ever stepping through *the big hole* as my kids have always called it *lol*
so how does my mailbox feel more like christmas than a bill warehouse? simple i do have an addiction.. an addiction to freebies.. and im not talking those stupid half a head samples of shampoo and conditioner that you stand there looking at thinking *um okay* .. im talking the good stuff..
my addiction however sometimes has me wondering *why do i have 6 margarita balls in the dining room* oh yeah.. that slight addiction to free things and the fact that Jose Curevo keeps tempting me week by week.. now in truth i want a pitcher but i cant seem to find them on there anymore.. so the margarita ball i have.. 6 deep .. it was suggested by a friend that if i got enough i could maybe make owen a margarita ball fort! now thats an idea!
but i must say i havent had so many printed pictures of my boys in years.. i wont tell you how long its been since i sent in a roll of film and im sure there may still be some floating around undeveloped somewhere.. or had any of the thousands on disks printed off.. im still going through the disks to figure out what is what.. but you know.. now .. now i do them 50 or so at a time and the best part is.. all of them are completely FREE.. yep FREE i dont pay for one of them! 8x10's, 5x7's, 4x6's .. you name it i got it.. matter of fact im waiting on another shipment of 100 free prints this week!
but what started this whole post was todays mailbox finds.. a bounce dryer bar and a $15.00 gift card from napster.. ah how i wish it would have been the mp3 player but can one really complain about free? i dont think so..
i did however miss out on my bic pen only to fail at yet another free dish soap from gain.. ah well at least i got the dawn dish soap and cascade for the dishwasher.. i hope they are decent sized!
the pens will be there again for the next few days.. at least i can manage to get a few more in to go with my collection before the end is here!

BLOG NEGLECT

*sorry*
the funny thing is i find myself online just about every day.. normally hunting down that freebie of the day.. updating my chart or whatever but somehow .. someway every day im online and yet i dont come here and update my blog.. bad blog owner i know and for that *sorry*

okay the latest and the greatest..

hurricane earl came steaming by.. omg it was the worst hurricane headed for the coast in years.. i mean seriously spinning like a crazy man at a cat.4 .. and than it got closer and closer and the winds got lower and lower.. and it turned and we barely got a thing here on our little part of the coast *blah* all that work up.. the hype.. closing of schools for 2 extra days.. evacuation of the island for winds not even decent enough to attempt our great mission of kiting across the back yard (hey when your in a hurricane and have no cable tv or power you have to find something to entertain yourself) ah well.. looks like the *outter banks* got slammed a bit worse.. but their barrier islands stick out further than ours does.. so until the next big mean windy rotating storm head our way.. its back to life as normal for us ..

the kids however are thrilled with their 5 day weekend.. and yes just when i got into the swing of waking up at 6am and temping at the same time daily.. just when things were *right* i get 5 days where i cant remember if today is sunday or is it monday.. and i surely cant temp when i do manage to figure out the sun is shining.. so consider this cycle a *blah* one on the temping side.. what good does it really do.. i know baby dancing must continue until at least cd20 so continue we shall!

on a more positive and happy note.. i would like to tell a very special friend CONGRATS on her bfp today.. OMG its soo exciting and im hoping and wishing and all that jazz that she has a super sticky bean! *grow baby grow* .. girlie you know who you are and you give me so much hope!

well i suppose thats about it for updates for now.. just waiting out the last of the clothes to dry so i can fold them up and get ready to join the rest of the men in the house who are snoring away ~

until next time...

Owens speech evaluation

well it went good.. i wasnt sure exactly how this woman was going to get him to talk and although i have a better understanding of what she is going to try to do.. it will be interesting to see if it will work.
the *unofficial* results of his evaluation is that he has the comprehension of a 3 1/2 year old.. which i think is awesome since he just turned 2 years old. i mean i knew he was/is smart but its amazing how advanced he knows stuff when you say it to him or ask him questions. she was also greatly impressed that he actually sat still for the entire hour.. okay not always perfectly still but the when he moved to the other side of her to play in her box of toys she would say *owen back over here* and he went back and sat on his butt like a good boy.. not once did she loose him to another part of the house or to one of his toys. she was also happy that when he was mid task on something if she said his name he would stop what he was doing and make eye contact with her and than began doing what she asked him to do..
verbally of course he is very low which we already knew hence this whole evaluation thing.. she asked what words he said and to be honest there are very few that he will say.. she asked how we knew when he wanted something or wanted to know what something was.. well if hes holding a car and wants to know what it is, he will poke you to death and say *this* as in a question.. and we will say *car* and try to get him to repeat to us but he never does ~ as far as if he wants a cup of juice or *more juice* he will either bring you his empty cup and if you say in a minute he will decide when he feels that minute is up and bring you whatever he wants.. hence the other day he brought me a full gallon of milk since my *minute* was to long ~
she told me that it will take her about 2 weeks before she will be back in contact with us.. she has to grade his test and than do her paperwork side of things.. after that we will start having her work with him 2 times a week for about 30 minutes or so each time.. she is going to start with trying to get him to make letter sounds.. and than we will go from there.
so i will let you know when i get the official results and know more of what they say..
unofficially though.. i have another smart baby boy who just wont speak *lol* wyatt was the same way.. although i think his vocabulary was larger earlier on.. he just refused to say the words.

178 days left until next summer vaca (excluding holidays, teacher work days and weekends)

yes im counting down already.. oh how i have not missed that dreaded alarm clock every morning or getting up before the sun does!
lets see the latest happenings..

wyatt is loving 3rd grade so far this year of course were only on day 3 of the school year but so far hes coming home with big smiles :) i think hes loving being back around his friends again..
little ron says its just *school* with little enthusiasm but would you really expect more than that from a high school junior? hes joining the FFA again this year wonder if he will get into it next year as well, if so that will make him a member of the FFA for all of high school.. but so far we are on year 3! so far he seems happy with his teachers but like the rest of the students, he dont seem to like the new principle at all..

owen has his speech therapy evaluation today at 4pm (i will update on how that goes later on) im still a bit curious on how this is going to go but willing to see what happens .. its just a waiting game until the lady comes and goes though ~

of course since the speech evaluation is here at the house this put me into *gotta get a few things done around the house* i mean im sure you know how that is.. now while i will never categorize myself as a clean freak .. i mean trust me if i dont get dishes done tonight they are still going to be there in the morning, heck i have tried leaving them and hoping they would walk out the door in protest sometime during the night but it never worked.. and i have also tried leaving the laundry in various places to see if it would fold and put it self away.. yeah not happening at all *blah* ... anyways like i said i would never consider myself a clean freak at all.. but i will admit to being just a tad bit anal when i do clean.. okay yesterdays plan..
hit the living room, dining room, kitchen and bath.. you know seriously wipe the finger prints off the window etc *lol* well this is what happened.. i cleaned them off the window.. noticed them around the light switch.. so decided to wipe there too .. realized this left an annoying line on the wall.. so started to scrub the wall.. got to a point and hit a shelf full of the old religious ones *stuff* and started to take it down so i could continue on cleaning the wall but of course when they got pulled down i noticed they could use to be cleaned so in the sink they went.. and it just went on and on from room to room.. next thing i know it was nearly 12 hours later and i was finishing up.. *argh* sometimes i wonder why i have to be so damn anal about cleaning when i do start just out to do small tasks!

i did however learn a few things.. first of all.. i realized that while some people decorate in the the modern design and others in like the country or classic designs.. the old religious one has a design somewhat of her own.. i call it *yard sale threw up here*
i learned that when your scrubbing the house certain people.. okay everyone will just sit around on their asses and when they do come in the room they like to tell you *well i cant do that because* and tell you about some ache and pain they have.. yeah well im feeling it today and im still up and moving around.. its called take a few Tylenol and move on *duh*
the only one i will excuse is ron since he cant handle the cleaning stuff.. but the rest of them.. it just became increase'nly irritating..
oh yeah and do me a favor.. if someone is so kind to be scrubbing for nearly 12 hours because they are to anal to stop.. do not stand there the next morning and say *thanks for all you did* and follow it with *i know theres just so much more that needs to be done too huh* um excuse me? kiss my ass .. im going on strike!

oh and if your a shopper let me give you my few rules i follow when looking at things because i mean we all see things we like.. but im not a spender and this is why..
when looking at an item that i really want i ask myself *where can i put this* if i dont have a place for it, than i dont buy it at all.. saves me lots just there alone.
the second rule i have (this is fall back of the place for it rule) i just simply remind myself that i have to clean it.. and that normally cures me right there.. remember everything is a dust collector.. so if your gonna buy it be prepared to clean it regularly *haha* which is why i always think *less is more* because its less i have to clean *haha*

todays question of the day.. *when you spend nearly 12 hours cleaning the house.. why does one (aka the wildabeast) think that you cant manage to run a vacuum by yourself?* i mean i had 2 things left this morning.. put laundry away and vacuum.. now yesterday i was doing all sorts of stuff around the house.. washing walls, etc etc. not once was i asked if i could use any help.. however today i get told *when your ready to vacuum let me know i will help* um dude seriously? its a freaking vacuum i got this.. its not like i can use help holding the cord or something it a flipping vacuum.. turn it on it does all the work all i have to do is push and steer if you wanted to help where was your ass yesterday when i was scrubbing walls?

school starts on Wed.

so today we ran the bigger boys for much needed hair cuts! i think i was okay until the stylist asked me *do you have all boys* and i responded *yep.. 3, a 16 yr old, 8 yr old and a 2 yr old* and she asked me *oh was the 2 yr old a whoops baby* um no he wasnt he was planned..
i mean i realize that no one can look at me and say *shes has trouble conceiving* and while on a normal day i can grin and say *nope* with no issues at all.. leaving the house and knowing that that the hag is slowly rearing her ugly head.. well it just wasnt the day to be asked the questions kwim?
its apparently my cycles have stretched back out again *blah* im not thrilled.. 2 years with nearly perfect 28 day cycles.. and now, now im stuck with god knows what length of cycles .. id lie if i didnt think *i cant do this anymore, i need to just give up the hope and move on with life* but at the same time i cant even tell you how just typing those words cut through my heart like a knife..
everyone says *just relax it will happen* but how do you just relax? as the months till my 36th birthday count down .. all i can think of is the time ticking away.. i tell myself im fine .. that the best thing about ttc is there is always another chance in a new cycle.. but is there ever an end to it all?
dont get me wrong... i know how blessed i am with my 3 boys.. and i know there are many people out there that arent blessed like i am.. who cant just sit on the couch and snuggle with their little one .. but the hurt i think is the same.. the longing the same.. the difference, i know .. i know i can conceive.. i know i can carry a baby to term and i know i can give birth .. ive done it 3 times.. but why why is it just so hard to see that bfp?
im just so lucky to have such a kind and caring hubby to be behind me all the way to put up with my craziness.. and to hold me when i cry..

i just wish that if there was a god he would see i dont want or need the riches in the world.. diamonds or gold.. i just want one more baby to hold and love and cherish like no other could..

latest and greatest :)

the boys are doing good.. gearing up for school to start at the end of this month! cant believe our summer is already coming to an end.. i swear summer vacations never seemed to end when i was a kid but now they seem to want to fly by and seem to go faster each year!
owen is growing like a weed! we had his 2 year check up and he is 35 1/2 inches tall and weights 31 pounds 5 1/4 ounces. we talked during his appointment about owens lack of talking.. i dunno why but he just isnt a talker so we are starting speech therapy now.. he has his evaluation on the 27th and we will see where we go from there after that. im a bit confused on how this lady is going to get him to talk more but im game to see what she can do.. specially since owen dont like strangers at all *lol* i pre-warned her when i talked to her on the phone to set up the appointment time.. so stay tuned for updates on that!

wyatt is looking forward to heading into 3rd grade and being around all of his friends again :) cant wait to find out who his teacher is and all that jazz but it will probably be days before school starts before we know.

little ron got his schedule already for junior year *ack i cant believe hes gonna be a junior this year* .. for the most part he likes his classes although isnt thrilled about computers 2 or foods *lol* hes happy he got ag mechanics and horticulture 2 though so thats good! guess you win some and you loose some in his case *lol*

as for baby making.. well it looks like my cycles have stretched back out again and i dunno why *grr* finally got my cross but i dont really believe it thanks to late temps .. but i think O was somewhere between the cd19 they gave me and cd22 at the latest.. i guess its safe to say *farewell* to the 28 day cycles and hello again to the 30+ day cycles *blah* ah well.. all we can do is bd and we have gotten plenty of that in and hope for the best!

happy birthday owen

today my baby boy is 2 years old *pouts* seems like just yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital.. where have the years gone?
tonight we shall feast on cake and ice cream, sing the birthday song and watch him open presents!!
love you owen.. happy birthday sweetie!

to fix or not to fix

that is our recent debate and question going through our minds and our discussions lately..
while for most its a simple answer of *yes spay and/or neuter your animals* is really easy to make.. for us not so much.
okay now get on with the *you arent educated enough to be a breeder* blah blah blah cast your stones and make your judgments.. first of all i never said *breed* our clyde at all.. just a decision to neuter him isnt an easy one.. and no im not just aimlessly contributing to the puppy population by allowing him to run around and make babies all over the neighborhood..
clyde is very closely watched at all times .. after all he is one of our babies and as one of our kiddos (4 legged or not) we take everything and research research research..
yes neutering has some benefits to it but some that arent.. which is what makes the decision so hard to make.. its a lot of weighing the good and the bad.
sadly its hard to find the cons on the internet in general searches.. so deff its something we are doing our homework on..

myth #1 however is that neutering your dog will make them more calmer.. this isnt a fact.. some dogs who have been neutered are just as *crazy* after the surgery as they were before it.. its called needing obedience training and not a cure all by just chopping off their boy parts.

fact .. both neutered dogs and not neutered dogs can potentially face different types of cancers because or lack of having this surgery.. so you really need do your homework on that aspect of things.

the few things i found interesting in my searches is that although some say *neuter your animal when hes young* forget to tell you that this can cause his bones to not grow right ..

so its a lot of research for now.. before we decide what is best for our clyde and his *boy parts* the last i read did not suggest neutering until after 14 months of age due to the risks to their bone development.. but that does not weigh the odds of this cancer or that one.. so for now its *study study study* and read read read..

my baby boy is turning 2 years old in just a few days

oh how im not ready for this *lol* you would think after going through so many years of kiddos getting a year older that it would make it easier but it dont...
thinking back to tonight .. well what will be the PM for August 2nd .. it was the night that ron and i had to make the call to the hospital and see if they had a bed for us.. the night that we headed in and started to get the induction done.. it was this night that they started the process to soften my cervix in order to have our 3rd bundle of joy..
funny how you never ever will forget the details of each and every childs birth, the days that things were started.. the things that were done.. the memories that you will have with you forever..

my poor neglected blog

oh how i havent been to be neglecting you so much recently.. honestly i havent .. i just get into doing stuff online and the next thing i know its to late to sit and leave a note here *lol*

the latest and greatest :)

first i would like to introduce *charlie* hes out newest family member .. no not ours but my new 4 legged brother *haha* yep mom has a puppy! hes a basset hound mix and the cutest little thing i ever did see .. *thanks again cassie* for finding the perfect name for him!
how charlie came to be ~
well you have to understand that mother has been dead set against getting a dog until she retires.. after all she worked long hours and didnt have the time to invest into a dog.. so when ron called me to tell me that this guy had one of the puppies and the original person who said he was going to come and get him didnt show .. that i should ask mother because maybe she would take him (after all he had already tried chris and chris said no due to the little legs and wondering what kind of boating dog he would be) ...
so i called mom, knowing she would just say *no* but it never hurts to ask right? to my surprise she seemed actually kind of interested, interested enough to want to look at charlie at least. well i called ron back and told him and he said *its not that kind of deal babe, its if she wants him hes coming home with me in the morning* pics followed which i forwarded to mom and explained in detail what the deal would be and the reason for it having to be that way. the jist of it, charlies brothers and sisters were heading off at 2pm the next day to a shelter type place in a neighboring town if they didnt have forever homes (this place would than place them in forever homes).. well since charlie already had a forever home (the guy who all day long avoided his phone etc) he was not included in the ones going off to the shelter type place. so this guy went and got charlie that morning and took him back to his place (where he was breaching his lease agreement of no dogs allowed) and holding him there until the guy came to get him. by this time the man had been called off and on all day long and a good part of the night (it was around 9pm that i was talking to ron about charlie) so mom saw the pics and we took a ride at 10pm to go pick charlie up.
now to give you an idea of how often mother screams *no dog until i retire* when i showed wyatt a picture of charlie and told him it was mor-mors new puppy he laughed hysterically and told me i was teasen and walked into the other room.. i think it became *true* to him when we showed up at the house with charlie.

its nice though, to see mother so happy with another puppy.. she comes to get the kids or to the house for a visit and charlie is always with her. we are slowly introducing charlie and clyde .. clyde thankfully is so gentle he will just lay down on the floor and sniff all over charlie.. once charlie gets a bit bigger than we will start walking them together and what not.

charlie is a small and tiny.. very young but growing so much in just the days he has been with mother. the pups had weened early (which is known to happen) and charlie is only 4 weeks old.. well he will be 5 weeks old on friday.

in other news..
while new furry babies enter our lives.. older ones leave ~

my sister (whom i dont speak to) has lost her boxer jo.. jo was a great dog and spent a good month sick.. longer than a month from the time i first learned of his not being well. at that time it had only been a month that he had been ill. the vets ruled out any kinds of worms or things.. so they figured it was an upper respiratory infection. they started to give him the medications to cure the infection and waited to see how he responded to them.. jo had good days and bad days.. on good days he would wag his nub and eat.. on bad days he would just lay there.. a once proud 95 pound boxer was now just skin and bones.. it was sad to see him so ill.
after 4 weeks on antibiotics they took jo in and they did blood work to see if that would tell them anything more.. the blood test came back positive for lymphoma cancer. it also showed his organs were slowly starting to shut down. jo wasnt going to make it.. the only question was *how much time he had left*
my bil brought jo home to spend some days with the family as they debated putting him down or letting him go on his own.. the vets couldnt determine pain factors and said they believed they were little to none since he was not crying out at all.. so my sister was loving on jo and they were deff spoiling him to the utmost extent.. they in the end decided that they would let him go naturally vs at the vet office as long as he showed no signs of being in pain at all.
a few days later they were at mothers house with jos body to bury him in the pet cemetery there. my sister told mom they had taken jo out to potty.. once he was done they came back in the house and jo just collapsed.. they think his heart gave out first.
i know my sister is broken hearted.. jo was her baby! so for now they are letting their hearts heal from their great loss.
RIP jo!

updates

little ron has been clamming the last few days. went again today but today was extra special because his friend tyler went with him. i sure hope tyler is having a good time. little ron loves going clamming and i think its cool that tylers mom let him go with and hopefully hes enjoying the day and earning a bit of money as well *smiles*
its hard to believe but my owen will be 2 years old in just about 2 weeks! where has the time gone? still trying to decide what to do for his birthday. if we go with a regular cake i need to figure out what would be best to have it decorated with. oh who am i kidding one look across the room and i already have the answer to that. i just need to search around to see if i can find what i need. owens obsession the thing that he loves more than anything itself isnt the latest and greatest new stuff on the market. nope its his trike. guess i will hit up the barbie section of walmart to see what they have there in the lines of trikes to see if i can make sure that his cake is really really extra special :)
and the biggest news right now...
i have a 3rd grader! its official finally after waiting forever for the report card to come in.. i emailed the school and we got wyatts last report card from last school year and he is a 3rd grader! oh im so proud of him. even a certificate for his graduating speech therapy that we will frame and hang on the wall for him. im so proud of all of the accomplishments he has made and how awesome he is doing in school. so it looks like maybe one more year of public schooling and than we will battle again at the end of the year.

as for me.. well im on cd4 and still miffed and confused about what happened last month with my cycle.. it just confuses me that why after so long of having a 28 day cycle would my body all of the sudden go almost 10 days later.. i suppose its one of them things i will never know though huh?

well.....

i started spotting today.. wasnt overly concerned.. it happens and can be very common in early pregnancy .. even though its something i have never personally ever dealt with i know this..
so as planned i went to the store and got the pregnancy tests and decided to poas as soon as i got home..
of course its a bfn.. and the hag seems to be here full force. i had to test though, i had to know.. i dunno why i had to know but i did.
i would lie if i said i was all *cool* with the whole thing.. im not.. but there is nothing that i can do about.
i cant make a baby grow in my belly that isnt there.. i cant do anything but try. somedays i want to toss my hands in the air and just scream *im done* other days i dont.. some days i am just so tired of the wishing, wanting, hoping, and even praying to a god that i dont believe in.
some days i just want the whole thing to be done.. to some how find that place in my mind that accepts that i will never again feel the wonders of pregnancy or of child birth.. that i will never hold a newborn again .. some day...
but that day hasnt come yet.. and as much as i want to toss my hands up and say *you won i give up* i just cant. so i continue on ..

there is no explanation on why my cycle was so long.. i dunno.. im lost.. confused on it and everything else.

this cycle however i will not temp.. i know when O is.. i will aim for that time and get that out of the way.. so at least my mind can be at ease and know *i tried* and than i can move on and just be done..

so thats the update.. no baby belly.. no proudly telling my hubba with a huge smile on my face that our family will be complete.. no holding that last little bundle of joy.. nope just more money down the drain on a stupid test to tell me what i should have already known.. what i should know after so many years.. not pregnant!

cd38 .. 22 dpo

why is it that being so late.. good temps and everything else.. you still end up with this overwhelming feeling of impending doom?
maybe its just the fact that you cant help but think *can this really be it* or wonder *what the hell is my body screwed up or something*
re-test days is fast approaching me and for some reason i cant help but wonder.. wonder what it will bring. i would lie if i said i felt fine today when thinking of re-test day but in fact.. in fact if you put a stick in front of me now i would probably run screaming into the other room *rofl*
truth is .. im scared.. scared of what the stick will say.
today i feel the same way as i did the day i went to re-test at the docs office to get that confirmation bfp.. stomach tied in knots thinking *what if the 3 ive already peed on are wrong??*
i have hope.. hope that i get to jump off this roller coaster of ttc.. hope that i will see the most beautiful lines when i re-test..
i cant think of anything else it could be.. i have boggled my mind over and over with it again wondering what could it be. i am to *text book* for nearly 2 years.. too.. always the same signs and always always a temp dip and always the hag as a direct response to that temp drop..
but this time.. no pits of hell for temps .. nothing.. just waiting and waiting and waiting and wondering.. could this really be it?

clycle day 36 .. 20 dpo

could this really be it? i mean the hag is a deff no show and my temps are just looking pretty as ever.. nothing huge and major but just *pretty* normally they would have dropped to the pits of hell but nope.. they are.. well quite honestly beautiful! i mean just.. beautiful!

so what am i waiting for? im waiting to re-test because well its just all about the math really *lol* sometimes i have moments where i want to run out and buy every line test in the store and other moments i realize why im waiting to re-test.. and so i will continue to wait.. chew my finger nails off.. dream but stay realistic and just *wait*

there is no other reason to have this happen.. no other reason on why i would be on cd36.. cd35 was the cycles i had when ttc owen.. i havent had them since he was born i was always 28 days with an occasional cycle of 32 days.. my longest was 33 days and that was in april of 2009 .. over a year ago.. so this, this cant be that! so i wait .. and i wait and i wait and the days are slowly drifting by.. and i just wait.

heres to baby dreams and hope.. hoping to see the most beautiful pink lines~

cd34 aka 18 dpo

and still no sign of the hag showing at all..
6 more days until test day two *smiles*
a huge part of me wants to believe this is actually it.. that maybe if that last test was a regular line one that i would have seen a glimmer of hope.. but so much of me is being realistic that even though it was a digi test that has a high number for the hcg.. it still should have been positive.. shouldnt it have been?

temps looking good.. still way above cover and just being nice and perdy.. but i will wait it out.. only a few more days.. 6 is such a small number in the context of 19 cycles of ttc this time around.. nearly 8 years of ttc between little ron and wyatt.. 6 years of ttc between wyatt and owen.. yes 6 days is a very small number!!

so wait i will.. and hope.. and dream but still maintain my realistic'ness of it all.. the possibility that the hag could be playing some horrid trick on me!

but can you imagine.. after thinking nothing but the worse when looking at that *not pregnant* digi test only to a week later seeing those pretty pink lines?? wow what an amazing end to this roller coaster of completing our family of four kiddos that would be.

one thing life has taught me.. is to always hold onto hope.. so thats what i will do.. i will hold onto the hope and never let it go!

ok..an update

well here i sit cd33.. no sign of the hag at all.. temps still looking good and above cover..
took a hpt on cd32 and it was a bfn...

however in my obsessive searching and reading (ah dont you love that part of things) it was a digi and well this is what i have figured out so much in my crazy brain ~

okay im obsessing.. i admit it...

according to a edd calculator i would be (if pregnant) 4 weeks 2 days today

with owen i was... 5 weeks 2 days pregnant with him when i got my bfp

i tested when the hag was 4 days late this time...

with owen i tested .. 3 days after she was due (i had longer cycles) and got a bfp

now according to a hcg chart thing.. the hcg levels at
# 4 weeks LMP: 5 - 426 mIU/ml
and
# 5 weeks LMP: 18 - 7,340 mIU/ml

i took a clear blue easy digi test which only works if your hcg levels are.. 25 mIU

so maybe my levels werent high enough??

yes im grasping at straws..

and of course more obsessing found me finding this out...

Clearblue Easy Digital "Easy Read"

25-50* <~~ so maybe?? hopeful?? reading to much into it?? this is what the * means *Clearblue Easy Digital publishes a sensitivity level of 50 mIU/mL but some telephone reps report a sensitivity of 25 mIU/mL. soo chances are it may have been to early.. a bit obsessive yes i agree it is.. but one can always have hope right?? so until further notice.. i am not POAS until next week.. monday.. maybe tues.. maybe i just might hold out until wed.. that is of course if the hag stays away.. cycle wise this (if the hag dont show today) will be my longest cycle since april of 2009 well that is if the hag dont show tomorrow.. that one was the longest one since i had owen ~ so yeah.. limbo time for me.. wait and see.. *blah blah blah* fun fun fun