maybe its just the fact that you cant help but think *can this really be it* or wonder *what the hell is my body screwed up or something*
re-test days is fast approaching me and for some reason i cant help but wonder.. wonder what it will bring. i would lie if i said i felt fine today when thinking of re-test day but in fact.. in fact if you put a stick in front of me now i would probably run screaming into the other room *rofl*
truth is .. im scared.. scared of what the stick will say.
today i feel the same way as i did the day i went to re-test at the docs office to get that confirmation bfp.. stomach tied in knots thinking *what if the 3 ive already peed on are wrong??*
i have hope.. hope that i get to jump off this roller coaster of ttc.. hope that i will see the most beautiful lines when i re-test..
i cant think of anything else it could be.. i have boggled my mind over and over with it again wondering what could it be. i am to *text book* for nearly 2 years.. too.. always the same signs and always always a temp dip and always the hag as a direct response to that temp drop..
but this time.. no pits of hell for temps .. nothing.. just waiting and waiting and waiting and wondering.. could this really be it?
