so flipping tired

i think it was close to 3am before ron and i got to bed last night and of course the alarm goes off at 6am with no chance of a nap today either.. we had much to do.
first a trip to the hundred dollar store although for some reason this time our trip was doubled *eek*
personally i think it had all to do with a certain big ear'd, fluffy tail'd creature that will be breaking into our home at some late hour saturday night and leaving some kids i know a nice basket of treats to find sunday morning. well that and this infamous movie gremlin that keeps tossing the 5 and 6 dollar movies into our cart at every hundred dollar store visit. okay i cant complain about the movies that much, after all you can only watch movies in the van and how many times can you watch the same old same over and over again? when your living in the van like ron has in the past few weeks i surely can not say *no movies* kwim?
after the hundred dollar store we swung by battlefield tire to see if the man was in but he wasnt so i guess that will have to wait till tomorrow. we deff. need to get the tires done this week though.. so hopefully the man will be there tomorrow.
after that pit stop we headed on to see chris's new puppy. hes decided to name her *tootsie* like his last dog was and OMG she is as cute as can be. not sure exactly what mix she is but she has some lab in her thats for sure. she has a deff. lab nose and the cutest biggest ears you have ever seen. i swear let a strong wind come threw and she will be an instant bat dog *lol*
i will have to sneak some pictures of her next time we are around her. i am happy to report that clyde was a good boy with her.. of course he was curious but he maintained his normal laid back self.. explored a bit around where chris lives but at one point he laid down and thats when tootsie got all *puppish* and pounced him. its nice to see clyde with another dog. i just hope that we can keep getting the two of them together from time to time so they will have some time to play together.
one really cute thing today was that owen (mr scared of strangers) was all warm and fuzzy to his uncle chris.. went up and asked to be picked up and also went on to the soda machines with him. chris was shocked but i suspect that if he would have gotten his pup months ago owen would have warmed right up to him.

Random Thoughts

do you ever wonder why so many are so negative? or am i the only one who wonders from time to time about this?
why dont people just look at the positive side of life and let the negative side go? the thing about problems and issues is simple.. everything in time will work itself out. i know life likes to toss curve balls at us all.. but why dwell on them?
in life we are all given choices, a cross roads if you will.. from the smallest little things to the most important big things.. and when we stand there at that cross road we make a decision which will ultimately lead to another decision and so on and so forth..
let me explain..
owen went down for his nap and i had to make the decision to either jump in the shower or wait a bit and play on the internet first.
i chose to jump rather than wait knowing the outcome of waiting could just leave me without a shower until the evening tonight (something im not rather fond of).. from that decision i had to decide *do i get human now or later* i choose to now so that later im not having to defend off my makeup bag and pretty much the entire contents of the bathroom from the owen'ator while i finish getting human.. or i could have sat around towel headed all day long and looked like death warmed over, not that *human* is much better but still...

you see those are examples of the little decisions we face as people every day.. on a bigger note it could be to purchase a home, a vehicle, to have a baby, to move, to love or to let go.. i mean its really endless right? just your basic everyday decisions that we all face..
but why dwell on the negative side of life? to be quite honest it all comes down to the decisions we make as people and the out come of those decisions.. i agree sometimes it would be nice to rub a crystal ball or at least get to see the alternative outcome before choosing which way to go .. but we cant so we have to sometimes just go with our gut.
our gut may lead us to the grandest of grand or the trying of trying-est times but why dwell on the negatives?
i like to personally refer to life as this grand roller coaster with ups and downs.. twists and turns.. sometimes you might want to throw up and others you just toss your hands in the air and scream with excitement..
during the times that are downward spirals.. just hold fast to those in your life.. family and friends.. during the ups again do the same.. those who are there for you during the toughest of times.. the ones that never leave you will always be there regardless of anything..
yesterday your life might have tossed you a curve ball that you saw as the end of the world.. but next week that curve ball will look more like a speed bump. i know when you are going threw tough times, everything seems like an endless battle but in reality.. it always will. so hold fast, hang on and enjoy the ride.. theres really nothing more that you can do.
dont stress it, life has a funny way of always finding a way to work out in the end. know that.. live with that knowledge and be happier for it..

as for people in life, some will come and some will go.. but i am a firm believer in everyone comes into our lives at a point where we need them most, some may leave and never return.. where some will always be just that phone call away. this goes for family and friends. there is a lesson in each person we cross paths with that we will learn.. we might not learn it the second they are in our lives but eventually, someday it will all make sense to us. some will even hobble in and out of our lives.. some we will wish would just leave and others we will always wish will return.. but no matter what while they were here there was something to be learned from them.

hold fast to those that mean the most and dont let go.. dont close your eyes to life for a second.. there are no *re-dos* .. let the past lie where it is and move forward from it.. look forward to tomorrow because its always a new day!
laugh often.. love stronger.. live harder.. life is a one time trip so live each day like its your last.. concentrate on the positive and let go of the negative. no ones life looks as perfect as you think it does when your peeking in the windows.. everyone has closets .. some just share theirs more freely than others.

owen last night

was wide open i swear!! im used to when he comes home making the normal rounds.. telling everyone hello, playing with clyde, dragging out a zillion toys (as if he hasnt seen them in years) and all that jazz..
however last night took the cake, the child and clyde decided to get into the trash can! and i dont mean by simply just opening the lid either.. he seriously brought the entire kitchen trash can into the living room and proceeded to help clyde get into it. i about fell over, i couldnt believe he did it! of course he got told *no* and we cleaned up his mess.. but still.. the whole trash can?
thankfully so far this morning he has left it alone.
mother is supposed to stop by this afternoon and bring clyde his pills, i kinda want to run to the hem to see if they have any new boy stuff out thats worth my while. its starting to warm up more and im all for digging threw the racks to see if they have anything decent in owens size.
i have a feeling though, that i will loose my shopping abilities at the hem. although the second hand store is pretty junky (you would be shocked at what they think is resealable) they do good when it comes to clothes for the little ones. my only thing that i dont care for is they tend to have more girl stuff than boys. im starting to come to the conclusion that boys just *out wear* there stuff faster than girls.
not much planned for today.. doing a few loads of laundry and trying to get caught up on that since ron is home now.
thankfully the next few days he will be home and we get to get some stuff done that we need to do.. new tires for the front of the van, a trip to the hundred dollar store and various other little tasks.
still wishing that our state tax check would come in.. a trip to the outlet mall would be nice but were still waiting it out. fun fun fun!

woohoo my hubba hubba is home !!!

and sleeping well getting at least a nap in before having to head out again tonight *argh* that to be honest is quite aggravating to me.
poor guy has been pulling 13 hour nights and than 14 hours last night.. 2 hours drive home and than his *down time* when he walked in the house, only to get a short nap before having to do another 8 hours tonight.. i mean the powers that be were home last night couldnt one of them cover these 8 hours and let my hubba get some sleep? or do i just look at it differently?
i mean if i were the powers that be i would have taken the 8 hours and let my guys get some rest..specially after such a long 4 days!
yeah i know the powers that be have been gone much longer (more like 3 months) but still if i had gotten the rest i would have taken the 8 hours. of course my hubba says that *they are the powers that be thats why they can say who goes and who dont* but i still disagree.. maybe im too kind hearted and think to much of others vs being a true powers that be?
at least he is home though.. finally i wont have to sleep alone every night, i think nights are the worst. i find myself staying awake until the wee hours of the morning hoping that if my eye lids are dragging the floor and i can sleep no more, that i will be able to snooze some each night.. funny though, during the day i dont have that issue as much. its just the nights.
looks like we have some beautiful weather coming our way and im super excited for that, i just hope it sticks around and gives the boys a nice warm and sunny spring break next week!
this week wyatt has no homework *woohoo thank you mrs H* i think im just as excited as he is about that *lol*
little ron im sure still has his share, but what can i say when you reach the high school level you also miss out on easter egg hunts and holiday parties.
tonight will probably be a pretty lazy night, owen is coming home from his extended weekend at mothers house and i have a butt load of laundry to do with rons coming home.

its.. SUNDAY .. finally

yeah yeah yeah i know most are thinking.. omg sunday already?? so why am i soo excited about sunday..
because tomorrow my baby comes home!! finally!! its been a long four nights and i am quite frankly tired of sleeping alone. sure yeah, you get the whole bed to yourself and no blanket wars in the middle of the night but dang.. i miss having him laying next to me. waking up and seeing his smile'n face even though he still thinks i suffer from morning personality disorder.
todays been a pretty lazy day.. managed to get the one load of laundry done that needed to be done.. oh and remembered that i forgot to empty wyatts lunch box on friday *YUCK* which means i get to scrub the living snot out of his lunch box stuff before refilling it for tomorrow..
this is the boys last week of school before spring break.. doubt we will do much of anything special over spring break itself but at least it means that the alarm will not have to sound for a week and we can all sleep in at least a little bit.
this week i need to get the easter shopping done. yeah im slacking again like normal *blah* i have a few ideas of what to get them other than just candy but nothing etched in stone as of yet, guess we will see what is out there and what we think they will really like to find in their easter *baskets* easter morning.. that is if mr bunny man decides to do baskets this year or just get creative with something else.

facebook games..

am i missing something??
ive tried farmville.. a popular game among lots of folks but i, well i just dont get it? whats the point? what do you do? ive killed every crop ive planted..
the fish one.. with the tank of fish?? i know that by now mine are floating at the top of the algae filled tank.
and now i have gone and done it again.. suckered in and made bob.. my petville well whatever he is, part.. well honestly i couldnt even tell you what part of what he is but i know that he will end up dead like the rest of them.
yes there i admit it.. im a plant killer in farmville and a petville pet murderer.
ive tried shopping in yoville.. went to sorority row in sorority life, and done all them great popular games but i still dont get it..
im the developer of a beyond failing city.. cant make it in country life..

i think i will stick to playing virtual poker, pretending i know the answers on virtual family feud, continue on smacking balls around on virtual pool, and keep hoping that some day the virtual mini golf will return..
until than you can find me flipping stars to make 3 in stary.. and clicking the ball thing on that other game i tend to play to much to often..

i see your mouth moving but i cant hear you..

why is it that when i have my ear buds in everyone wants to talk to me??
im sitting here jamming to my music.. clearly with my ear buds in.. and everyone wants to come in and talk to me.
now they dont get my attention by tapping on my shoulder they just start talking. i just happen to look up and see their mouths moving and pull them out.. and they are ramble'n on about who knows what because ive already missed the jist of the conversation that apparently we were having unknown to me of course.

today is clydes bath day, hes getting it a day early because i need to clean the bathroom and dont see a point in scrubbing the bathroom just to wash my clyde in it. maybe it will distract him enough from stare'n out windows and *warning* us about the over activity going on outside.. the folks across the street are down this weekend and having a yard sale. plus they have their pup out there (maverick) and he is having a field day *warning* them of the folks driving up..

talked to ron this morning, he sounded tired, called me once before laying down, than again after richard called and woke him up and than a third time after little ron butt dialed him. hopefully he is now able to get a bit of sleep. wish he was on his way home but the powers that be are still keeping him in smithfield .. wish adt would hurry up and get out there but he isnt hopeful on them making a weekend run out. so we maybe stuck until monday anyway. just got to wait it out and see. wonder if he is going to be sick of the outlet mall by the time he gets done.. i hope not, because we still have to make our yearly trip up there to do some shopping! although this trip will be a bit more budgeted since we had to buy the van.

oh yeah the van.. it has come in handy big time with ron being out of town.. he still has the 2 middle seats out so he can be a bit more comfortable with more room. specially with laying the bed down to sleep. last night though he was pushing it a bit far *lol* he decided to grill some food to eat and it was a bit cold, windy and rainy like outside so yeah, he was grilling in the van .. um hun, please dont grill in the van again, i know it was a *must do* thing last night after all you had to finish cooking your food but can we please keep it to a minimum *lol* than the guy with him commented on how we should put an awning on it.. um dude its a conversion van.. a family *car* if you will.. its not a camper van so yeah there will be no awning attached to the side of it, thank you very much *lol*
im just glad ron is able to have some level of comfort when out of town with the van. i know its not the most comfortable but its better than shoving 3 or 4 guys into the small company camper.

ah well this isnt getting my clyde washed.. suppose i best get to it huh?

so much for wishful thinking....

looks like i will have to wait for monday morning before ron will be home which sucks! asked him tonight when i talked to him if there was any hope and i guess there isnt because the ADT people havent shown up, and hes stuck until they do or monday which ever comes first *blah*
i managed to get the bedrooms cleaned today and will tackle the bathroom tomorrow after i give clyde his weekly bath.
ron told me that chris has his puppy now, i cant wait to *meet* her, im so excited that he finally got another dog. its been a good while since tootsie passed away and i know how much she meant to him. im actually surprised he held out for so long before getting a new pup. havent heard a name yet but i know its a girl. he texted ron tonight and told him that *they were going to get along just fine* apparently she was watching TV with him. now i just have to bug him to come over so we can meet the new girl in his life. sad but true, the only *girlfriend* he ever had that i liked was tootsie *lol*
wyatt and owen are spending the weekend at mothers house, i was surprised that wyatt wanted to go, he doesnt seem to want to as often as he did when he was younger. i think he thought he was missing out on something here at home when he would go to her house.. but this weekend he decided was his weekend to go hang out at her house.
little ron is of course home as normal. went and hung out with his friends for a good bit tonight.. not long after getting home from school he was walking out the door, bouncing his basketball and listening to the music on his blackberry.. teenagers *smiles*
not a whole lot going on for me tonight.. just bouncing around on the web and talking to ron when he gets a chance to call.. gosh i hate it when hes gone..
miss and love you baby!!

got my headset on ...

and the music blare'n.. oh now i know your jealous that i have these rock'n m&m ear buds..
still havent done much of nothing yet *blah* but mom just came and got wyatt and owen. they are going to spend the weekend with her and little ron just took off to his friends house with basketball in hand and blackberry jamming!
guess that means i can go get busy now huh? but no one to have radio wars with *lol*

talked to ron for a minute, he woke up and called before he laid back down, still no final word on the chance that he could be coming home *grr* im supposed to call him and wake him up in a bit.
oh well.. im bored so i suppose i will go get busy now.. fun fun fun!

T. G. I. F.

talked to ron this morning, looks like there is a chance he will be home earlier than he thought (fingers crossed) i dont think the powers that be know this yet but oh well, i know they were supposed to have already lost this site but it was extended so i suppose it wont be a huge deal of them loosing the contract.
i will be happy to have him home thats for sure!
not much planned this weekend, i need to clean the bathroom and do some other odds and ends around the house unless anyone would like to volunteer to do that for me? yeah i didnt think so.
owen has this major fear of the vacuum cleaner and although i know the only way to get him over his fear is to vacuum more around him but i just cant do it without someone else here to love on him while i am. funny how he likes to play with parts of it from time to time but dont plug it in *lol*
im still trying to figure things out that seem to be happening when ron isnt home. its weird..
first i always keep our bedroom door closed and yet the last time he was gone, i would wake up in the morning and my door would be wide open. who is opening my door?? i told him about it and he went on to say that maybe owen is doing it because owen will go in and out of the room on us now (he has mastered how to open the door) but i dont think thats what it is... it just dont *set right* in my head.
than last night i clearly had the window ac kicking in the bedroom, and yet when i got up this morning to get the kids off to school, the ac was off?? any ideas? ron seems to think that i might have turned it off but dont remember doing it, but again that just dont *set right* with me.. i dont get it.
just seems weird that these things only happen when ron isnt around, not when he is around. just dont set right with my head on why..

now for the latest and greatest..

well i will admit to being pretty darn pissed about ron having to leave town again.. yeah all was gravy (i swear im watching too much amazing race, the cowboys got me saying *its all gravy* now) when he came home on monday saying that he was home all week .. i was thrilled and only dreading the beginning of next week after all this is our baby maken time and lets face it, thats an impossible thing to do when you are all alone and he is hours away.
so i was stoked, he was going to be home, got my bbt and been temping like a champ, taking my prenatal vitamins .. and than *poof* in the matter of a few hours i was told *sorry hes going out of town*
now part one that pissed me off is that NO ONE asked him if he could. not one person, apparently the *powers that be* called the old guy and asked him if ron would go and the old guy just took it upon himself to say yes. the powers that be never once called and asked ron, no voice mails on his phone etc.
well i get told by the old religious one that he is going to be leaving tomorrow (well today for those reading this) and i was beyond livid!
okay now aside from the baby making side of things we can not afford for him to keep going out of town.. its soo screwing us up. we get paid and we are off to pay our bills, do our shopping ect and get caught up only to turn around a few days later and have to borrow money yet again for him to go out of town. than the same thing all over again, we pay our bills and get everything taken care of only to be stuck having to borrow money again. its FLIPPING CRAZY.
of course you just cant seem to explain that to the old guy or the religious one, oh hell no.. their answer is *well we will loan him the money* yeah thanks your such a champ.. do you not understand the words coming out of my mouth?? geesh!!
so ron told the old guy loudly for the millionth time why we can not afford for him to keep going out of town.. the response *oh* yeah *oh* whatever (insert me rolling my eyes wildly)
not to mention im sick of him being gone for 2/3/4 days a week.. now while the powers that be might be thinking how gravy it is that their spouse is gone more than home and the old religious one likes being alone, that is so not me.. i want my husband home not 2 hours away.. im soo done with it and so is ron.
of course he left today at 5:30pm and is out of town until monday.. im keeping my fingers crossed that i O on cd16 like i think i do and we will actually have a smidgen of a chance this cycle.. other wise i will just have to deal with it now wont i?
well since we are alone again, i took the kiddos to dinner tonight. went and picked up mc donalds for owen and than taco bell for everyone else. than we went over to a small picnic area on the side of the road (right on the water) in swansboro. cute little picnic area..
the boys ate and than played for a few minutes. Owen learned how to roll down a hill thanks to his brothers going all out to show him, i think it still needs a bit of work but he was having a ball learning! once the kids were done rolling down hills, running and playing.. we walked the wooden board walk and looked out at the water.
i found it interesting to learn that the island out there is only partly privately owned, i had understood that it was privately owned completely but apparently over half is owned by the state parks and rec people and its primary use is to dump oyster shells for the oysters.
once we were done walking around on the wooden board walk we headed home and it was time to get homework done (i slacked big time tonight with wyatt) and than some tv, showers and bed..

now im just left sitting up, knowing i need to make wyatts lunch and shortly get myself to bed and knowing that i will be alone .. why are nights the worst?

fun with urbandictionary.com

i read about this online and thought i would have fun with it here on my blog.. if you want to play, simply go to urban dictionary and type in the answers to the following questions :
look up the definitions for:
1. Your First Name
2. Middle Name
3. Last Name
4. Your Birthday
5. Your Age
6. Current Location
7. ONE Favorite
8. Your Eye Color

If it doesn't give you a definition, leave it blank.

here is what i came up with when playing ~

1. Brenda ~
A very nice person, with a beautiful face, and a special heart.

2. Jean ~
Female name meaning "God is gracious." Fun, sympathetic, and charming. Witty, brilliant, and an excellent friend. Unless you want your friends to call you. Ever.

3. (last name) ~
A group of beautiful sisters who can survive anything.

4. December 27, 1974 ~

5. 35 ~
A drink popular in the western US. It refers to a roughly an equal mix of a dry or complex red wine (a cab, for example) and Southern Comfort. The name originates from the exact alcohol content the bartender should achieve for this drink, since over 35% often tastes too sweet, while under 35% tastes like expensive wine. Some people liken a properly mixed 35 to a grape Jollie Rancher, while others say it is more like prune juice. Either way, it is much better than it sounds.

6. crystal coast of NC ~

7. bullmastiff ~
An Awesome dog breed originating from england; mix of mastiff and bull dog. Originally used by estate game keepers to engage poachers and hold them to the ground without mauling them until the game keeper arrived. Extremely terretorial and protective of its owners and property. Good family dogs for people who have time.

8. Hazel ~
1. a kindred soul
2. a girl whose beauty lies both within and without, her image brings grown men to their knees, her kindness and complexity keep them there indefinitely
3. the girl of my dreams

why???

please explain to me Mr. wildabeast why every time i am sitting here, clearly in view from the other room holding my oh so over tired owen, that you have to pick that minute to come into the room and *clean* now while i understand your OCD about spreading the dust around and picking up the kids toys.. you do NOT have to do this while im trying to get owen to nap.. believe it or not, i have been dying for a shower since about 9am this morning and here i sit at 2pm still waiting for that shower. just as he is about to head off to lala land and i know the shower is close.. so close i can see it, you have to disrupt our routine and cause him to jump off my lap and run to free his toys from the toy box hell they were being placed into. it might not be a hell that you recognize but when you are owens age, that is how you see it.
so please i will ask you for the hundredth time, please when i am clearly holding owen, you clearly know that he is beyond his normal nap time.. please stay out of the room, i promise nothing will run away from you while you arent in here, it will all be here in 10 minutes when he is safely tucked into his bed for his nap.

another trip to the $100 store

this morning started out with ron waking me up at 6am knowing that today was our weekly trip to the $100 store (aka walmart). i somehow managed to crawl out of bed and get into the shower before the bigger boys had to be woken up to get dressed for school.
by the time the buses ran all that was left was to makeup and get some clothes, wake owen up, get him ready and head out the door.
not to much interesting at the $100 store today although we did get a new lock for both the hitch on the van and the boat trailer plus a small trash can for the van.
after we left there, we headed home just in time to meet up with the septic guy, well this would be septic guy number 2 aka the guy who cleans out the drain field. unfortunately no matter what he did (and he tried hard) he couldnt get his hose thing past 25 feet, the pipe itself is about 60 feet long (if i understood everything) which means the drain field is the problem .. lovely *rolls eyes*
so after a referral to someone who can put in a whole new drain field or fix the one we have plus another lump sum out the door.. that guy was out of here and we were inside making more phone calls.
the third guy came a few hours later and we got the price quote (can we fall over now??) although i must admit because he is a cousin of a friend, he is willing to cut us a slight deal (sure does help to know people huh?).
needless to say after a discussion, the decision was made to get it done, not like there was much of a choice in the matter it has to get done after all.
so we called the guy back who told us that he wasnt sure if he would make it out later this week or if he would have to wait until the beginning of next week which means we have to more than likely get the tank cleaned out again which means another lump sum down the drain..
oh why cant we just have regular sewers around here vs stupid septic tanks?? something tells me it would be like 50 thousand times easier to deal with!!

we also managed to call about the much needed front tires of the van and talk to the guy who owns battlefield tire (who ron knows) and got our fingers crossed he can find the tires we are looking for, if not i guess we will go with something compare'able to whats on it now? i really have no idea how that works but its only the front 2 that we need so maybe different brands will work? good thing i have ron who knows what he is doing when it comes to vehicles.

as for now, the kids are getting ready for bed, well wyatt is watching a bit of TV since charlie and the chocolate movie just went off (good movie even though johnny depp did do the whole willy wonka guy a bit weird). Owen is playing on the floor with clyde and thinking he is fooling me that he was eating the cookies he keeps asking for even though i have caught him share'n them with his buddy. *little* ron is finally in the shower and im waiting to do one load of laundry before bed.. fun!!

well i suppose thats it for now..

no owen,, owen i said *no*

i dunno what was up with owen today but today was surely a *no* filled day for him. the child was into EVERYTHING!
i had gone in the bathroom to get my makeup done and get *human* looking when owen joined me.. no big deal he does when he is awake and im getting together.
first he started with his latest learned thing.. how to flush the toilet. oh now this is a spectacular thing, if only those of us doing it for so long would understand the absolute wonder and amazement in flushing an average every day toilet.. of course he got *owen NO* after all flushing the toilet although cool is a complete waste when there is nothing to flush but i did offer to make him house master flusher for anyone who wishes him to flush for them *lol*
next he decided it was time to *blow* his nose, which this is too cute because being only one he hasnt quite got down the actual nose blow but he makes this noise and blows threw his mouth into the toilet paper.. yes cute but he thinks he needs a new piece every time he does it.. so we had the talk about it being enough .. and than came *toilet paper confetti* which is where he tears off small pieces and throws them all around the bathroom..
okay owen toilet paper fun is done.. i took the toilet paper away and of course for the millionth time told him *no owen*
after a few seconds it was time to help mom with makeup.. gee thanks hun but please stay out of my makeup bag.. you are absolutely gorgeous and a boy and boys dont wear makeup.. with the exception of a few nearly all of the 80's metal bands and of course boy george (who could forget him).
next it was the hair brush.. oh dear child of mine.. must i remind you that mama had to buy a new one because you lost both her other hair brush and the comb which still to this day has not been found.. not to mention after just buying this one you decided it was time to share it with clyde and he ate part of the handle.. love you sweetie but *NO*
after knocking over the trash can (his version of recycled confetti from earlier), trying to check out the toilet brush, and wanting to play in the cabinets.. enough was enough and i had rushed threw my process of getting ready.
he also can pull a pop can tab off the top without an issue and various other things that resulted in *no owen.. owen no*
yes poor owen, trying to have fun today turned into a day of *no no no*

and another week starts...

owen slept in this morning which was nice for me because it meant i got to crawl back into bed, snuggle him, and take a short nap before we started our day. hes such a snuggly guy and i love that about him.
when he woke me up, the septic guys were here.. *joy* the house smelled like poo forever, i know TMI but apparently it was to much for the wildabeast or the old guy to close a few windows before the guy started to clean out the tank. i mean *geesh* and than the wildabeast makes this huge comment about how the cave smells too.. well duh the cave always smells because you live in it *hahahaha*
ron finally made it home around 11am at least i think thats about what time it was, of course the wildabeast had to make his comments about how *he must have left early* hey dumb shit, its only a 2 hour drive away and he left at 9.. i mean seriously why must i put up with his mumbo jumbo.. oh yeah because he is the cave dweller.. thats why.
the boys are home from school now, wyatt is playing xbox 360 (homework is already done) and little ron is enjoying some TV time and having an afternoon snack.. im still wondering if owen is taking a short nap today or are we just skipping it, with it getting close to 4pm, i think we will just skip it today.. after all i dont want him up all night long.
anyways, thats are day so far.. fun and exciting huh?

and again..

10 minutes before midnight and here i sit finally getting a chance to post to my blog..
today has been the fun filled day of the week for me. clyde got his weekly bath which he was in dire need for as we skipped last weekend (owen was not the co-operating kid when it came to giving clyde his weekly bath last week), the couches got the much needed and past due scrubbing that they needed and laundry got done! not that doing laundry is a feat of any kind.. after all in this house i end up doing anywhere from 1 to 2 loads per day.. a never ending task!
im super excited that ron will be home tomorrow.. i think he will be leaving smithfield at 8am and heading this way, not sure yet if he will stop and get a few hours of sleep, it all depends on how he feels in the morning.
so far this week he has a few things to do but luckly they are local, im still stressing it though because that can change so fast and i need him to be home.. after all this is when bd'n starts .. so *fingers crossed* that they dont need him to go out of town and we can get all our bd'n.. we just need to make it until the end of the month with him home .. i dunno why i stress it so much, oh yeah i do .. because ttc sucks and i hate knowing full well that another cycle will just pass us by..
so far temping is going good, i did end up missing one day which bites but i guess after taking so many months off from temping it was to be expected. ive been good about the prenatals though, so thats a bonus huh??
sometimes i wonder if we will ever get to see another bfp or is all of this just pointless? but i have hope.. hope always sees me through it i guess.. i know that once ttc its almost impossible to stop..its like you already know to much, to much about your cycles and you just cant ignore it.
one thing is for sure though, i do know how lucky i am to have my guys. my guys are my everything.. always have been and always will be.. i just also know that baby #4 is supposed to be here.

trip to Fort Macon

another beautiful day today.. so we (mother and i since ron is still out of town) took the kids and went to fort macon and wondered the fort a bit, after that we headed to the picnic area and had a small cook out for lunch. all in all it was a nice few hours! thought i would share some pics of the boys..

wyatt being goofy!!

owen.. i kept trying to get him peaking into the outer wall areas of the fort but he kept turning around on me *lol*

*little* ron and wyatt walking around the upper part of the inside part of the fort, the stairs are real steep so i didnt take owen up there yet, in time he will take the upper tour but i think he needs to be a bit bigger.

wyatt and the cannon balls..

the only picture of little ron that i have permission to post *sorry*

mommy can i have one of these?? *boys* lol

after we left the fort, we walked over to the other side of the parking lot to look at the ocean..

the beach was busy today!! lots of fishing, kite flying etc, you cant swim in this area because its also the inlet .. which is where the boats go from the inner coastal waterway to the ocean itself and its just really not safe to swim there!

wyatt resting and waiting as..

owen says his final *goodbyes* to the ocean and we head over to the picnic/beach access area!

for more information on fort macon.. visit here

what is that??

almost midnight and i have yet to post a blog for today.. are you serious?
ah what can i say, its been a pretty *blah* kind of day.
ron had to leave at O'dark hundred this morning to head to Smithfield, he will be up there till some early morning hour on monday from what we know for now, first it was only until sunday and than that changed earlier today.
neither of us are very happy with that idea, we were looking forward to him having some time at home this weekend .. maybe we could have done something as a family with the kids being a weekend with no school but all of that is out the door now.
it just sucks because i hate it when he is gone like this. not to mention we thought him having to go out of town was over with for a good while but apparently not *pouts*
tomorrow im going to run the kids to the fort so expect some pictures, i just have to remember to grab my camera in the morning or whenever we leave to take it with me. supposed to be pretty out all weekend, sunny and warm! my kind of weather thats for sure!
the boys seem excited about our outing which is a good thing, were also going to cook out while we are there, hot dogs and just some small stuff for a small cook out lunch. little ron will get to play chef so all is good.. maybe we will walk on the beach a bit to and i can get some photos there as well. im no photographer so dont expect anything fancy.. you want fancy nice photos you got to look to my hubby for those. hes taken some amazing pics over the years .. if your interested in seeing them, i have some old ones on an old picturetrail account that you can see by going here
at least i think they are awesome pics.. i need to take the time to drag out the disks we have and go threw them all.. just to see what all we have. we have tons from the NC Zoo.. a favorite place we like to take the kids every year.
anyways.. i guess thats about it for now.. i need to get myself heading towards bed shortly,  something tells me wyatt will be jumping up and down all morning waiting to go on our outing.

only my son..

so last night me and all 3 boys headed to hallmark to get ron his birthday cards. Owen is on this trip of being the *big boy* and wanting to walk more than hip ride, so of course last night was no different.
we headed into hallmark and he was seriously good as gold. i was so proud! not touching when told *no* and just staying right next to me as i looked threw card after card trying to find the perfect one that ultimately didnt exists.
the boys got their cards picked out and we found the perfect one from owen to daddy.. so as we were standing there checking out, i looked away for a second, just one small second and when i looked back, my sweet good boy owen, was sitting inside a display in hallmark *eek*
now it wasnt one of their glass shelf displays which was a good thing but a wire rack display that he climbed in the middle of and sat down.. he looked like a prisoner or a caged animal. while i will give him huge props for not knocking anything down on his way threw the maze to the middle, how in the hell was i going to get him out?
have you ever tried to *bait* a one year old out of one of them things? i knew assistance from me would only end in disaster and like most hallmark stores, this one was as crowded as the rest.. maybe even a bit more than the rest because the store is on the smaller side.
finally a few minutes later we managed to get him out but OMG how embarrassing!

The boys gave ron his birthday cards this morning before school but are making him wait on his small gift until later tonight. and of course he spotted his favorite cake last night *boston creme pie* in the fridge..
happy birthday sweetie! we love you with all our hearts.. your a wonderful husband and father!

operation birthday shopping

operation birthday shopping for ron went okay.. headed to hallmark and while im big on cards that say everything im looking for, this includes standing there for hours reading and reading all the cards looking for that perfect one, i just couldnt find one to express how much i love him and how happy i am to be his wife, seems simple enough i know but not one said just what i was looking for it to say.. so i ended up with one that semi did it and added a bit of my own, i suppose thats more meaningful anyway because it comes from me and not some *hallmark card maker*
the kids had fun hunting down the perfect card for their daddy.. little ron found 2 that he really liked and finally decided on one, wyatt brought me what seemed like every card in the store that played a song and finally after helping him read threw them all found the one he picked out .. personally i think he looks for the ones that he thinks has the coolest songs *hehe*
owen, well i had to help him pick but found one that fits him very well but he did *sign* it himself ... i love them at this age when the little one scribbles to their hearts content on that paper and you have the tug of war to get the pen back from them *lol*
after that we drove like crazy to get to the party supply store which was sadly closed before we got there.. but would you expect anything in our small sleepy coastal communities? so we headed instead over to the store to pick up his cakes and some small stuff we needed, wrapping paper etc.
now i just need to find the time to sneak and wrap a present *ugh* the fun!
now owen is snug as a bug in his bed, little ron probably zonked out in his and wyatt on his way to sleep as well..
another late night for the boys but soo worth it to see their daddy smile tomorrow.
anyways off to kick the kiddo to sleep because its getting to late to have him awake.. wish me luck!

happy st. patricks day :)

we dont do st. patricks day but than again we arent irish so i suppose that explains why huh?
here shortly we are going to head out and pick up some birthday stuff for Ron, im torn now on making to huge of a deal on his age, although i dont think the number side of things is bothering him to much.. i dont think he expected us to be in the place we are with him turning 40 tomorrow. i wish i could just show him what an amazing man, husband, and daddy he is.. and im guessing that *lordy lordy ron is 40* on the major highway at the end of the road isnt quite the right way to do just that, so now its onto another plan.. what it is just yet who knows but i suppose when i see it i will know.
dont get me wrong, ron has an awesome sense of humor and loves to make me laugh but i just got this whole feeling last night when we were talking that *fun and games* wasnt the way to approach his birthday* this year, however there is always *aint it nifty ron is 50* in ten short years *hahaha*
at least i was happy to see his favorite cake is on sale this week so i will cheat and buy it from the bakery vs making it myself. i know *bad* wife but hey its easier to sneak in the ready made cake than to stand in the kitchen with him watching as you make it ...
as for our day today.. we spent the day doing our running.. walmart, petsmart and so on.. got a new bbt so i can start temping tomorrow morning again. i want to know when my O is exactly and well maybe part of it might just be that i need to know that im dong something. im also going to start taking prenatals again, just to get that extra boost. it has alot in it that believe it or not helps with ttc as much as pregnancy and what not, maybe i will grow some awesome nails too *lol*
little ron and wyatt seemed to have had good days at school, little rons still complaining of not feeling well but if he is well enough to work on his boat trailer and beg to go get his boat now that its done, he is well enough to go to school. im keeping a close eye on him though just to make sure no fevers and meds are taken as needed and on time.
wyatt had a st. patricks day party and since being home has sworn that a leprechaun is leaving gold under his bed, i think hes just fooling me into looking every so often.. okay i know he is but i must play along! of course i got pinched for *no green* but i will survive, apparently they dont believe you when you tell them your undies are green and want proof.. sorry kiddo cant show you because they arent! ack to smart for my own good he is!
owen walked more than rode a hip while we were out today. guess he wanted to be the *big boy* he is beginning to be.. sad in a way, im used to having a hip rider not a hand holder with him.
well thats about it for now, im sure i will be back with more later *smiles*

fear of hairstyles.. its real and its mine!

yesterday found us back in the salon for hair cuts, not your fancy smancy salon where walking in the door has you greeted by fronz the desk clerk but your local great clips where hair cuts are priced in an area where i wont fall out in shock of the cost to get my kids heads transformed from long haired hippy boys to just your normal handsome guys again.
now while the transformation from heading from our normal stylist who was the only one who had ever touched wyatts head from day one except on maybe 2 rare occasions, who we had all grown comfortable with in the sense that you could sit in her seat and she knew pretty much what you wanted her to do. not that she always had done what exactly you expected but none the less she knew what to do and within a certain degree she did what you asked.
personally i always found *J* to be pretty scared of touching my head and the heads of my boys and even after nearly 7 years of being our stylist, she never really gained that comfort with doing our hair.. i always hung over her making she she did what was needed, and i still do to this day.. no matter if im spending $20 on a cut or $10 .. i expect it to come out right, i dont make the prices they charge after all i just pay the bill at the end of the day and do find myself to be a decent tipper.
it wasnt to long after great clips opened their doors in our sleepy little town with the sign out front that said *grand opening hair cut sale* and who could pass up the advertised price of $4.99 per person? seriously who could?
of course with a $4.99 haircut can you really expect the best? after all i am a firm believer in *you get what you pay for* and that includes the price which is the reason why years ago i stopped paying walmart prices on pants when i can go to jc penny and get the same thing on sale when they have their buy 1 get 1 deals..
now i will tell you for a great many years (from as far back as i can remember until some mid summer day in 2003) i had a HUGE fear of hair stylists and what they would do with my head..
anyways, so after spending so many years going back and forth to see *j* at her salon and after watching price hike after price hike, it was getting harder and harder to do.. the truth was we just had to find a new place to go. you never got any perks at J's salon.. no frequent cutter discounts, coupons or anything and while i understand that she had to cover the cost of everything (building, supplies, etc) we just couldnt keep taking the cost hikes. its one thing to spend $5.00 or even $10 on a kids head which is easy to cut.. its another when its $20 a cut for the same kids head.
so when we saw the great clips advertisement after opening in our small coastal community town, we had to give it a try, we couldnt justify not trying for the low cost they were charging.
our first experience was okay.. cuts were done and we went home to decide if they were worthy of us or not.. had the lady understood what i was trying to say to her? after all im not good with cut lingo so im sure my explanation of what i wanted was no where near what she was used to hearing.
it was do'able in the end with no great dislikes so we decided to try again.. noting that their full prices were cheaper than J's and their hours about 100 times better than hers who only was open until 5pm during the week and off every sunday.
so once we needed cuts again, we opted to try great cuts again.. so there we were walking in the door with a room full of stylists waiting to meet your hair cutting needs, we got called back one by one and although i will admit the stylist i had scared me .. she reminded me of a gypsy and seemed to speak in a foreign language that i just couldnt understand.. i mean i knew it was english but it didnt sound *normal* to me.. great i get he gypsy with the language barrier.. but i was good, i sat still and avoided my first reaction of *run for the door*
and believe it or not, i have never in my life had anyone take so much time with my hair.. she sectioned and cut and took her time.. i was OVERLY impressed and really like'n the gypsy lady as i left that day.. sadly ive never seen her back in there again *sad face goes here*
weve gone back to great clips and never actually had the same stylist do our hair twice.. heck we normally never see the stylist again.. sometimes its a good thing (because that girl who had me clipping my kids hair when i got home because she left that one stripe of long isnt one id one to have do it again). but sometimes its sad.
as for last nights hair stylists.. i wasnt to impressed and im coming to the conclusion that if your stylist looks good in their hair doo (regardless if its your taste or not) that you will have a good cut.. if they dont, than be scared very scared!
i wonder who will be our great clips sylist next time.. i guess we will have to wait and see!

M. P. D.

do you suffer? apparently according to Ron i suffer from it.
what is MPD you ask??
Morning Personality Disorder
while i will admit that i am a night owl by nature and no where near a morning person, i never realized i suffered from my husbands self diagnosed MPD until this morning after he woke me up and decided to explain that our children suffer from my *condition*
Ron has been great about waking up before me and finishing up wyatts lunch while getting little ron up and moving in the morning.. all before waking me up in the morning to get wyatt moving.
this morning he went to wake little ron up and asked if he was feeling okay, little ron gave him the thumbs up apparently and ron said *well than get up son and get moving, youve got school*
ron than headed into the kitchen to finish the task of heating up todays hot part of wyatts lunch (i prepare all else before bed the night before so thats all that needs to be done in the morning). ron than returned to the boys room and again tried to wake little ron up who responded with *i hurt all over* when told he said he was feeling fine with the action of the thumbs up he responded (in a sleepy but snappy voice) *no i didnt you havent been in here*
after making the executive decision to let the monster take the day off to recover from all that ales him, ron came to the room to wake me up which i know is no easy feat.. after all i know i get snappy in the morning, its not that i mean to im just not a morning person. well i will spare you the details but once i got up he informed me (laughing while saying it) that the boys suffer from MPD like i do.. when i asked what it was he proceeded to tell me *morning personality disorder* .. gee thanks babe love you too.
the truth is hes one of them happy go lucky people at some odd early hour in the morning .. as he sits across from me at the table all chipper and happy to start his day .. all i can think about is crawling back into bed, my god is it even natural to be that happy in the morning?
but i am a night owl.. i like to stay up late and stay in my bed until after the sun has come up .. not a good thing when you have an alarm waking you up at 6am but i manage to make sure im in bed by midnight most nights so that i get a decent amount of sleep before its time for me to move.

one of the hardest...

things to do as a parent is to know the difference between a child actually feeling bad with the sickies or one who is just playing you. now this might not be hard to do when your child is only a year old or even 8 years old as they tend to have *sickie* written all over their faces..
days sick end them up laying in bed all day sleeping and resting and just watching tv or trying to snuggle as close to mom as they can for the comfort and the love..
but when your child is 16, thats another story.
because the late night *i dont feel good* after a sunday which was filled with a few hours of boating fun.. and a monday spent working outside on the boat trailer getting it all fixed up.. ends in a monday night after a trip to the hair place for a much needed hair cut and a trip to burger king.. ends in the complaints ~
my nose is stuffy... my head hurts.. im tired.. im freezing cold (but not cold enough to put on a jacket or even long pants).. i feel like i might puke.. blah blah blah.. yeah the signs of the sickies.. this ends you a few hours later after constant reminders of the sickies that are lurking .. with a *mom do i have a fever? i think i have a fever* you break out the thermometer and do the temp check.. checking it twice to be sure your getting the right temp. you feel the forehead and enter the *no mom zone* and kiss the forehead quickly as he pulls away after all mom cooties on a 16 year old.. they are worse than the cooties of a girl in the second grade to a boy!!
nope all confirm.. only 98.2 degrees.. normal no temp.. to which you get that sickie look saying *mom am i dead yet* err i mean *mom is it high?* you confirm your answer *no hun, only 98.2* .. to which he responds *isnt that a fever mom?* .. uh no dear.. 98.6 is normal your below normal..
i wonder if this normal temp is why he is now sitting with his head under the blanket vs out of the blanket.. heat the brain up a bit maybe?
now as a mom you know all these sickies come to one conclusion.. someone for some unknown reason, wants a day off school tomorrow..
so now the question is.. is this due to a case of the actual sickies or is this due to the *i just want a day off school?*
if and i mean a big IF he does end up getting his free day home tomorrow.. i might be getting the worlds worst mom award from him as he will not be leaving his bed.. sickies mean stay in bed all day long.. not hanging out magically feeling better before noon when you drag yourself out of bed expecting to have fun for the other half of the school day..
*argh* and of course the sickies arent so bad that we arent able to not fight with our brother *rolls eyes as i wonder why we had to change times and why i find myself this late still trying to get kids into bed who on a normal night would have been sound asleep in dream land by now*

anyways.. haircuts are done.. well all but owen who permanently implanted his head into whoever was holding hims body when the hair stylist got to close, yeah hair cutting is not an option at this point in time.. he will forever be known as permanent bed head boy.. at least until we get over the fear of strangers that he has right now. so if you see my cute curly headed bed head boy, just know its been brushed and hes been up for quite some time, hes just going threw the wild hair stage.
oh and thanks to the cashier at the local grocery store for paying me the compliment that i do not look old enough to have a 16 year old son.. ah makes me feel so nice to hear that but yeah hes mine and i am old enough.. yeah i know she was just being nice, but geesh let me believe it until tomorrow at least *wink*

man how video games have changed...

another day off school for some teacher work day finds me sitting in the living room watching wyatt play *the orange box* also known as *half life 2* yeah im sure this video game will win me awards on mother of the year.. but you know, he knows the difference between whats *real* and whats *not*.. not to mention ron and i have never been big on sheltering any of the boys from much of nothing.. its true! i mean i would rather they hear and see most things at home than at school.. be educated from mom and dad not from the 8 year old kid sitting next to you in class.. and the boys are raised right so thats what matters most..
ah getting off topic a bit!
anyways, remember when you were growing up and what the video games were? for me it was the Atari with pong and a few others.. the simplest forms of entertainment.. i mean its hard to imagine now how sitting there with 2 long sticks and a ball in the shape of a square kept us entertained for hours on end.. than things got *high tech* and you had the colorful yellow circle with a *slice of pie* missing that ate dots and tried run from colored *ghosts* and eat them when they turned blue.. yes the loveliness that is known as pacman.. toss a bow on him and he becomes mrs pacman.. go up a game level and not a whole lot changed.. always the same basic concept the whole time.
of course this is back when the top of the line computer in our house was a commodore 64 with a floppy disk drive that actually held floppy disks. where dad would somehow get video games and we would play for hours on it using the TV for a computer screen.
my favorite was the night that dad tried this *love sight* you know to hook him up with his mrs right, looking back i have no clue how it would have worked after all this was years before the internet was in every ones homes but dad sat there on stool with us girls right there typing in information.. height, weight, chest size, you name it they asked it and he got about halfway threw what would be his *profile* in these days and it switched back to the same questions all over again. he automatically assumed that they were asking about what he was looking for so he started to type in what he wanted in a woman..
it was funny to see him be all *computer'y* and typing the information in.. but looking back on it, i wonder what would have happened if he turned it in or whatever he was supposed to do with it, would he have ended up meeting the man of his dreams because they thought he was a tall slender big busted woman?
music on the computer back than was again a floppy disk that dad brought us home and we would put into the disk drive and listen to the background music of various songs like *rubber ducky* hey no one said they were the top ten of the time.. although i do remember *girls just want to have fun* on there.. we would run threw the house with the stereo blare'n (why of course we couldnt have regular speakers it had to go threw the theater system) singing .. well semi singing being as we didnt know every word to every song with the music as we dance'd ..
computers and games have come a long way over the years.. thats one thing that cant be denied..

the time change is kicking our butts!!

on any normal night, i have wyatt in bed asleep no later than 9:30pm, on the weekends we allow a bit later so by 10pm hes normally zonked out, on friday from the long day at school and threw the rest of the weekend because of getting up early still although not that evil 6 something in the am kinda early.
well of course yesterday was the time change *joy* and we sprung forward like most everyone else.. and now here it is 11:30pm (the old 10:30pm) and wyatt is fighting tooth and nail to stay awake.. *argh*
i just got owen to bed a few minutes ago again later than normal and im sure little ron would be wide eyed if he didnt have so much trouble sleeping last night.
time changes, so much fun!!
mother stopped by tonight to drop off a small 2 man tent for the old guy to use. he will be out of town this week for quite a few days and although the folks were nice to provide a hotel room and the local *no tell motel* it seems that the men folks have decided they would rather camp out and sleep in their personal vehicles and/or tents rather than to stay there again. i know it was cheap and it was free, but it was trashy.. and obviously they didnt price search because in searching i could have found a better deal but than again i look at all avenues not just one.. from camping to hotels to extended stay places and about anything else i can think of.
the truth is, for the what the trash'y inn ran them, they could have put the guys up in a 2 room camping cabin at the local KOA with a queen sized bed in the main room and 2 bunk beds in the other.. more than enough room for the guys and much more convenient with the different times in and out of the room (mainly from ron to the other 2 guys).
anyways.. mother ended up staying for a few hours and visiting.. ron made her a steak when he cooked his dinner (the kids and i had already eaten) and mother ate that which made me feel better, i worry about her taking care of herself like she should. i know she hasnt been feeling well but that is no reason to starve yourself, at least she should be eating more than she told me she was. at least she seemed to be feeling better tonight. tomorrow her and i are going to take the kids for haircuts.. i think i will go ahead and get ours done too.. her and are both past due as much as the boys are. i would love to get owens done but his fear of strangers has me thinking that there is no way he will let them touch his head!
while mother was here we looked at a few options, she thinks she made aunt bee mad at her but im not sure if she did or not. aunt bee is going threw some personal issues right now and mother is having problems keeping her mouth shut with her opinions. i just keep telling mother that aunt bee must go threw this on her own, stick to the general topics (work, hobbies etc) and leave the situation alone.. be there if she needs you but dont push the whole situation and your opinions down her throat. how many times does one need to hear what you would do vs what she is doing? only she can decide which way to go in life and only she will live with the outcome.. be supportive and hope for the best but be there for her unconditionally if the worst is to happen.
ah life.. sometimes so entertaining and other times just another boring day going by..

happy sunday

looks like its going to be a pretty boring day today. Ron and little ron headed out in little rons big boat for a few hours of fishing.
needless to say our plans for tomorrow are all but canceled since ron has to be back out of town tomorrow *blah* im not thrilled about it anymore than he is, we were hoping his going out of town was over after these last few days but none the less its not. thankfully hes only having to go 2 days this week and they arent back to back, although i almost wish they were back to back because it would save on gas in the long run. oh well, it is what it is right?
i think tomorrow i will look into taking the kids to get their much needed hair cuts. but that depends on how mother is feeling seeing as ron will be busy and wont able to run us up there.
i would like to get Owens hair cut but i dont thing he is ready just yet and dont want him to freak out over the whole experience.. plus i know it would mean loosing all his curls.. which although i know he needs it, would still be kinda heart breaking to see go. so maybe we will hold off just a little longer.

Christmas in...

Christmas in.. march? now ive heard of christmas in july.. but march?
while i know i shouldnt complain as the wildabeast did do a semi nice thing for wyatt and after his always treating the poor child like a worthless piece of whatever, he did go out and buy him a video game.. which in itself is sweet but um yeah.. he bought you what game?
now wyatt i can tell you loves playing half life (aka the orange box) and he enjoys his lego batman and lego star wars etc..
but why oh why would you come up to him with a game called.. bionic commando .. ive never even heard of it.
*think mom think* its the THOUGHT that counts not the gift.. but yeah.. do what huh?
so he walks in all wildabeast like and says *here this is your christmas present from me* which yeah is nice.. i mean i know that he didnt have the cash at christmas to buy the boys anything and im good with that.. and the gesture was nice. but why by a game that no one knows nothing about? that chances are it will get played a few times than find itself rotting on a shelf while another game is played?
and who picked it out? he had little ron with him but surely he wouldnt have picked out this game.. would he?
while i will agree that i am not *in the know* on most new games etc.. i have deff. never seen this one on a commercial and i have no memory recall of wyatt pointing it out to me..
maybe im just forgetting?
well hes going to play it in a few, this game however did not take away from his current playing of half life.. so maybe when he checks it out he will really like it. i only hope he dont ask for cheat codes because although i didnt look that hard, i did enough to tell you there wasnt a whole big option of them out there.
so yeah..
merry christmas.. in march!

annoyed

so i head into the kitchen to make the boys a quick and simple *snack/late lunch*.. pizza rolls ..
i drag out 2 big plates and 2 small ones and wyatt picked out his big plate which is fine.. the big plate was brought out for him. i leave the room to walk in to hear this conversation taking place.
wyatt ~ this is my plate
wildabeast ~ no its not
wyatt ~ yes it is i called it
wildabeast ~ that dont matter that plate isnt yours because its a big plate

wyatt looks to me and asks if he could have that plate and i respond, yes one of the big plates are yours.. so which ever you want (they are identical but we wont even get into the conversation on the differences between plates that are identical when it comes to kids)

i serve up the pizza rolls .. and am cutting owens up when the wildabeast says to me..

wildabeast ~ the religous one said wyatt was going to call your mom.
me ~ yeah
wildabeast ~ that he wanted to go to her house
me ~ yeah
(side note, do you notice how im NOT getting involved in every minor detail with him?)
wildabeast ~ did he call her yet?
me ~ yeah

i leave the room to do a drink delivery.. when i return..

wildabeast ~ so she didnt want him to come and told him no?
me ~ no
wildabeast ~ she just told him no huh?
me ~ no actually she is sick and he decided to stay home so she could get some rest and feel better..

as i walked out of the room.. *grr grr grr* wyatt has done NOTHING .. hes watched some cartoons, played some xbox 360 and hung out with me and Owen.. he has not said but maybe 5 words total all day long to the wildabeast but as usual the wildabeast wants him gone.. well you know what? i dont give a shit if you want him gone or not.. deal with it or better yet get your lazy ass a job and move the hell out! so yeah im annoyed!

another boring day

since ron has been gone my days have been dragging on and *boring* .. i think today i will get to work on cleaning up the bedrooms and make my day go by faster, i know both need a good vacuuming and stuff just straightened up.
my motivation is ziltch but i think i can muster some up from somewhere, on the positive side, my day going quicker will me that ron will be home sooner.
checked the weather for him because i know that him and little ron have been talking about taking little rons big boat out, i think wyatt might go with them but im not sure, not so sure if Owen and i will go or not.
i did mention to him that i would like to do something one of these days just to get out of the house, although i know that after being gone he just wants to get home and be home.. ah the loveliness of wanting 2 different things huh?
i was so proud of wyatt today, he called mother and asked her if he could come play xbox 360 at her house, not that it makes much sense as we have the memory here on our xbox 360, but i guess he wanted to go down there and play.. anyways, mother told him she wasnt feeling well but that he could still come and he said *no i wont bother you, i want to stay home, you get rest* which i thought was super sweet of him. hes such a loving boy! he has his days but yet he has this majorly huge heart! i just wish everyone could see in him everything that Ron and i do..
Owen is napping now and i really should be doing a few things vs sitting here but im getting in some *music* motivation ~ haha! *little* ron has taken off to his friends house and is probably our exploring in the neighborhood or playing basketball.
at least our rain seems to be gone now! i was surprised to wake up to the sun shine'n i thought for sure we had one more day of rain ahead of us.. now if only the temps would go up a bit more so that the water could get a bit warmer.. ooh im so missing summer right now. but at least spring is a step in the right direction!
dont forget to turn your clocks forward tonight!

to many rainy days

i miss the sun ... the hot summer days full of swimming and exploring and the warm summer nights where you just kick off your shoes and take endlessly long walks enjoying everything around you.
i miss laying out and getting some color and while i agree paste'y white is a color.. i miss that slight sun kissed tan.
i miss the kids finding the new and interesting things in the water and showing me how *cool* the slim is even though i dont agree (i believe the verdict is still out on what exactly the slime is..)
winter you can leave now.. and while i get that *april showers bring may flowers* can i please have just a few dry sunny days?

when your up at 6:30am

and waiting to get the next kid into the bathroom to get ready for there long day at school, there isnt much more to do than to think. and after convincing myself that it was possible that i could see a bfp i decided to poas.. of course bfn (why would i ever think i would see anything but that?) and so i sat in the dining room thinking.. and figuring things out.. just useless information..
like the fact that, out of the past just over 16 years, i was only pregnant and on bc for a total of.. just under 3 years. yep thats it. so for the past 13 years my dh and i have found ourselves ttc and ntnp.
i often wonder why is it so easy for others and why do some like us have to try to hard?
dont get me wrong im not bitter to those who can get preggo at the tip of a hat, maybe a bit jealous.. but never bitter.
when do you stop trying? when do you just toss your hands up and say *to hell with it i give*.. can you ever get to that point after spending such a long time in ttc? could i honestly see myself just saying the hell with it, nope at least no time soon.
the one good thing is now there is not one single HPT in this house and wont be again until i am well past the date the hag was due to show up..
ive never been good at seeing bfns, i guess the reminder that getting pregnant is so hard and sometimes feels impossible for us ..
yes we have 3 beautiful boys who i am ever grateful for.. but i do wonder if we will ever get the pleasure to hold and love on baby number 4, the one who is still missing from our lives.
i guess we will just for now keep taking it one day and one cycle at a time. doing what we can. what more can we do?

the case of the missing pants!

being a mom of 3 boys .. 2 of which have both gone through the scooby stage and ended me sitting up reading countless scooby doo mystery books (scooby doo and me being the longest and the worst ever in my opinion) .. i find myself tonight feeling like *one of the gang*
while i dont have the ghosts running me out of my home or some crazy monster trying to close down my business..
i do have a case that only scooby, shaggy, and the rest of the gang can solve..
the case of the missing pants!
imagine if you will (said in my best twilight zone narrator voice) its just minutes past 8pm EST when a young owen walks into the room.. pulling and tugging at his top trying to get it up over his head.. when i realize that he has already pants'd himself and is telling me that it is bath time, come on mom lets go.. he doesnt have to use words because in this case, actions speak much louder than words.
im thankful for one thing the diaper remained intact and on his little butt .. so we head off to the bathroom for some much loved bath tub time. i think this is owens highlight of every day!!
but now the question stands.. where did he put his pants?
we have searched high and low.. from the bathroom, to the boys room.. the cave where the wildabeast lives.. to the religious ones domain.. to our room, the living room, dining room, and kitchen..
in cabinets where we know he loves to hid as he sits some how comfortably in the pots and pans.. to the side table that he loves to crawl in and out..
we looked high and we looked low.. behind the tv stand and still no where to be found are the blue pants he was wearing just minutes ago..
hours have now past and if i didnt know any better i would say they walked away.
i think we will give up our hunt for tonight, put a few scooby snacks out and hope that he and the gang will show up.. maybe tomorrow we will put out a bolo for them..

Rons gone...

he left about two hours ago and i can only hope that he forgot nothing.. my mental list was completely checked off so he should be good for the next few days.
i know he isnt happy about being gone.. but its makes more sense, the cost of gas would kill us, as much as i love our van, she does like her gas *lol* it never seems to go to fast but man when you fill her up *eek* big tanks can be scary.. although to be honest i dont remember the aspen costing much less than the van did to fill up..
Owen is finally taking his nap.. i was surprised that he managed to keep his eyes open for so long this morning.. he woke up at 6:40am and i thought for sure around noon he was out good but before i got out of the shower ron had to go get him.. not sure what woke him up but it took till just before 3pm to get him back to sleep. cant let him nap to long because if he does he wont want to go back to bed tonight and with me having to get up with the alarm in the morning, i know i have to be in bed by a semi decent time tonight..
Wyatt did homework with no issues tonight, maybe its because i told him if he wanted to see the memory for the xbox 360 he would *lol* tonights homework was easy, just drawing a picture of 3 of his spelling words, tonight he choose to do *puppy, baby, and happy*. now he is snuggled on the couch next to me playing saints row 2 .. all he really ever does is run around and drive vehicles.
*little* ron is hanging out the wildabeasts cave i think.. but dont quote me on that he might have went by without me seeing and went to his room to watch tv and relax a bit. normally he would be taking off on his bike but he destroyed yet another one.. the kid goes threw bikes like its nothing (or so it seems sometimes) but at least they get wore slam out vs just rusting in the back yard.
soon i will have to decide what to make for dinner.. i have no clue what to cook yet, guess i should think about looking here shortly after all its already 4:00 and if everyone wants to eat at a decent time, its best to get it in the oven soon huh??