December 31, 2009

Happy New Year!!

Its hard to believe that 2009 is coming to an end and that tomorrow will be the first day of 2010.. I can't help but wonder if I am the only one having issues with loosing the double zeros in the year.. Thankfully I don't write many checks or it would be a lot of lines threw with the correction above..

2009 was your normal mixed up kind of year full of highs and lows.. Good times shared with laughter and sad times full of tears..

2010 I'm sure will be filled with greatness.. And hopefully that bfp we keep trying for..

As for tonight we will just hang out at the house with the kids.. new years eve anymore is just another night and tomorrow the start of a new year ..

To everyone..
May 2010 bring you nothing but greatness.. New adventures.. Happiness and love

To my fellow ttc'rs..
May 2010 also bring each and everyone of you that bfp you wish and hope for every night

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

December 30, 2009

Went down to mothers this morning and cleared out the rest of the *keep* personal items from the trailers..
Found a few letters I had written my mor-mor in 1983 and one from 1984 along with a few pictures I had drawn and colored for her.. Funny how now, nearly 18 years after her death and 26 years after these letters were written I stumble across them shoved in a plastic container in an old worn out mobile home.. Also found one letter and picture my sister had done for her so I wil find a way to get that to her in the near future..
I know I can't trust mother to do it because she will say how important they are to her, after all her girls wrote them to her mother.. A normal thing that we hear quite often..
the trailer removal is going good.. One completely tore down to the chassie and the other stripped of all of its aluminum siding.. With a huge hole ripped where the dining room once was.
I'm sure tomorrow more progress will be made and we will swing by to see how it looks.
I think we might also go take a walk on the beach.. Weather permitting of course.. Little Ron recovered and claimed the old metal detector from the trailer behind the house so maybe we will take it and go play on the beach.. Never know might find a pot of gold *haha*
TTC wise... Things are going good I suppose. I'm not temping this cycle and just getting in as much bd'n as possible.. Hoping for the best ..

Funny and odd news for today..

While stripping aluminum siding off trailer one.. A nosey neighbor pop'd over to see what was going on.. Proceeded to walk into the trailer and take some old cheap metal mixing bowls out.. Haha beware of theiven old guys..
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

December 29, 2009

What a day...
Started off getting ready to head to do some running.. First stop.. cape c town hall. Had to get the permits to remove the old ugly eye sore trailers from mother and my aunts properties..
This has been relitively easy to get set up however a few small hurdles to hop over.. First was removal of power lines.. A simple call to the electric company.. Uh yeah that's the name.. Can you talk to him.. Uh.. Yeah hmm..
see mother never took the electric out of her dads name.. He's only been dead since 2002.. But with a quick call to the electric company this was straight and power lines were pulled back today.
Last step.. To get the permit.. So we had talked to the inspector before and he cut us a good deal.. two properties but only 1 fee .. Suppose it had anything to do with the complaint calls on the eye sores? Anyways we go to turn in the paperwork and.. He's closed until Jan 4th.. *crap* so we head into town hall and talk to the lady there.. Nice lady who worked for town hall when ron was a cop here.. Told her our delema and she jumped on the phone got a town commissioner to sign off on it saying *hes a real nice guy.. Lives here in town.. Used to be a town cop* and walla with the fee paid and a *if they have an issue tell them to come see me* we were out of there with the right to pull the trailers *woohoo*
So tomorrow.. Trailer #1 will get stripped, crushed and hauled off ..
My aunt may laugh at us and our *spit and a hand shake* deals.. Contracts made over the phone with no paper work to see.. And all.. But we saved her from what I heard they were quoted.. Over $20,000 (I have no clue who quoted them that) and were getting 3 removed not just 2... Our guy is starting tomorrow without the checks even being in my hands yet.. And permits were a walk in the park so *ha !*
Next stop.. Best buy where I browsed at laptops while my guys looked at Wii and xbox 360 games.. Poor Ron left with the boys while Owen and I browsed around. I'm still undecided on what to get.. Part of me is saying mini with the memory stick.. The other part is saying full sized .. I wil probably go full sized.. Want an HP.. a Sony vaio would be nice but my cheap ass is not sending nearly $800 on a laptop.. I want to stay close to $500 and that's it.. But for now its looking and dreaming until tax time.. Gives me time to browse and decide.
Than to petsmart where we got our Clyde some food and scored a mastiff calander for 2010 do you know how hard anything with a mastiff on it is to find?
Than a quick trip to walmart and home..
headed down to mothers to clean some storage stuff out only to kinda get sad at the things left behind.. Ruined from sitting for so long in bad trailers.. Pictures of my mor-mor left.. Just gone now completely.. We will finish that tomorrow (moving stuff) and than they can be smooshed and removed ..
After that a bit of relaxing as the kids played Wii and xbox 360 .. Dinner was nibbled on and than it was time to choose what game to play..
Kids choice.. Monopoly cities.. I swear I have a headache now.. Talk about confusing! But I'm sure in time it will be normal and easy.. Didn't even tally up who wiped who out when we ended the game. It was getting late and had to get things moving for bed ..

Tomorrow should be another fun filled day and than after that the begining of back at mothers to get the house done before she returns..

Wonder if we will see neighbors gathering and clapping as the old trailers are hauled off *haha*
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

December 27, 2009

Today is my birthday! Ron and Owen woke me up with hugs and kisses..
The boys got me a great card.. And rons card.. How does he always find the cards that say the perfect things.. The ones that pull at your heart strings and the ones that had it not said *hallmark* on the back you would almost guess he wrote it himself.. Love you sweetie with all my heart!

along with his card.. A coupon for a laptop computer at tax time.. what a sweetheart! He knows its really what I want but with Christmas just being over.. The $ just isn't there.. Plus even if it were I wouldn't spend it on that right now anyways.

Christmas was great.. We have 3 very happy boys .. Santa was very good to them again this year!

I'm so lucky to have a wonderful husband and 3 handsome boys.. My guys are my everything and everyday I thank my lucky stars for them.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

December 24, 2009

Twas the night before Christmas and all threw the house.. A creature was stirring.. Our Clyde was about.
The stockings were hung on a shelf with care... Waiting for st. Nick to soon be here.
The boys were all snug in their beds each one with Christmas goodys dancing in their heads.
ron in his shorts and I in my jammies just settled down for a full night of wrapping.
Than out on the lawn we heard such a clatter and sprang up so fast.. My what a disaster..
Ron landed on presents freshly wrapped by me and I was somehow shoved under the Christmas tree.
He came threw the door like a bat out of hell.. Clyde on his heels as we screamed and he yelled..
We knew right away Santa claus wouldn't stay.. He tossed at us gifts all wrapped with colored bows.. We scrambled and scurried.. and I fell on my nose..
He ran as fast as he could so Clyde would not bite.. Yelling and screaming *merry Christmas to all and to all a good night*
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

December 23, 2009

Hard to believe that tomorrow is Christmas eve..
I'm happy to report that last nights midnight run was a success and we are officially done shopping. Now I just have to wrap everything and with so much of it shoved in the attic.. I can't help but wonder, what the heck were we thinking? I mean the attic access is right next to the boys bedroom door and although its simple to get up and in.. Its not the quietest door/ladder thing to get down. On the flip side.. My boys have the ability to sleep threw just about anything and everything. Maybe tonight when ron gets home we will get things moved so as soon as kiddos are off to sleep tomorrow night, I can easily get things wrapped and put under the tree..
Unless of course someone wants to be kind and take them for a car ride!
today I played around on making some mint candies which were posted by Jessica on Facebook.. Wow they are sweet but good and just a simple recipe..
3 ounces cream cheese
3 cups powdered sugar
1/4 teaspoon mint extract

Mix cream cheese and extract in bowl.. Once mixed gradually add in powdered sugar reserving about half cup.
Roll into small balls than roll balls in reserved sugar (I think you can use regular sugar to roll in as well) and than press down with a fork (or your thumb)

Simple and easy to make but sweet!

I'm going to try a second batch with almond extract.. so we shall see how they come out.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

December 18, 2009

Today was the boys last day of school until January 4th.. Christmas break has officially started!
I received a note back from aunt Ruth today via email and feel bad for making her feel (as best she could describe) *numb*.. I think that's the worst thing about me.. I know when things have to be said.. But when I say them sometimes I feel bad for how the people feel in the end.. My intensions weren't to hurt anyone or cause them to feel bad in any way.. However.. In the grand sceme of things I think ultimately the end of a feeling is what is best.. Now we can move forward and go from there..
I suppose that is what brings me to todays topic.. Communication
Ron and I have awesome communication.. I think we drive some people batty because we do talk so much however I love that we are always talking.. No matter if its sitting in the same room or over the phone.. That simple text that says *love you* to know your being thought of or whatever.. Communication is always and has always been a key factor for us.
If you don't communicate how you feel.. Than how will anyone ever know?
But along with communication comes the ability to listen as much as speak..
Had my aunt (for example) read my letter and not heard me.. The out come could be very different than it was... Or what I had hoped it would be.
you have to be able to do both listen and speak for communication to work. No matter if the news is hard to take or easy.. If you agree or not.. If you've been hurt or hurt someone else..
Life will always toss its curveballs at you.. You will ride the highs with your arms stretched out and scream as it spirals down..
But you have to remember there is always an upside to follow.. And as long as you speak your mind and say how you feel and the person hears you.. That upside could happen quicker than you think.

always remember that you are only given one chance in life.. So live it to its fullest.. If you've hurt someone never be to proud to say your sorry.. If you've been hurt never not listen to the apology.. But do with it as you wish.. Love often.. And do not allow your past to define your future..
I know that for me.. I would be a miserable sad person if I let my past as a child define me as a person today.. Accept that some questions will never have answers.. But don't dwell on it..
Your childhood molds you to who you are today.. Even in the worst of childhood situations that you wonder what life lessons it was supposed to teach you.. Just accept that answers aren't always there and to not live in that past..
The past can't be changed.. You can't erase it.. You have no choice but to accept it.. But only you allow it to hurt you today and in your future..
Always remember that you hold the key to your happiness.. No one else..

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

December 15, 2009

I'm a firm believer that people come in and in some cases go out of your life for a reason..
Some like my *sister* sue will stay with you forever and you just know that no matter what.. No matter how long between a phone call or email or a visit.. That they will and are always there.
Others its pretty clear why they came into your life and in some cases why they left..
But is it ever to late to reconnect with that old friend? And are their regrets by the person who caused them to leave?
My mother had two failed bad marriages.. My dad and looser number 2.. Why she stuck it out and tried so hard to make it work reguardless of what they did to her or us girls, there were years of excuses on why she stayed and why they did what they did.. Yeah mom seeing the looser kick you in the head was surely just your fault somehow.. Yes he was an awesome man when he wasn't lost in a bottle.. Whatever you want to believe and whatever makes you feel better about your choices *rolls eyes*
But than... Than there was Keith.. He treated you like gold.. Wouldn't fight or argue.. Would never raise a hand to you.. But it was him you kicked to the curb. Sure he wasn't perfect but show me one person who is..
He treated us girls like we were his own and embraced the roll of grandpa to our children as if they were his own blood relatives.
but yet this is the one you choose to toss out.. Why?

I kept in contact for a while with him and than so self absorbed in my own life.. I just one day stopped. What would I say at that time though? So I took a break never forgetting him.. The one man that gave mother what she claimed to always want a man who put her first and accepted her children as her own.
This year though.. aprox 6 years after he packed his car and headed back to Indiana.. I decided to write a letter..
But why do I feel like after so long I'm invading his life.. I'm just his ex-girlfriends kid.. Do I have that right to disrupt his life.. What if he is with someone new? How will she feel about a letter from me?
I don't want him to come begging mother for another shot.. But I do want to keep in contact with him. I know now that mother and him weren't meant to be.. He deserves happiness and I hope he has found it.. But at the same time we were such a huge part of his life..
I want to know he is doing good.. To know he wasn't and isn't forgotten.. To know he is still a big part of our life even though he isn't here..

The letter is sent.. In his hands by now I'm sure.. But I still wonder if I had that right to send it... I just wish him well.. Wish him happiness and wish he knew that we love him.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

december 13, 2009

ron left around noon today maybe a bit earlier to head to fayetteville.. wont be home until some o'dark hundred hour on friday .. im guessing right around 2am at the latest.. just sucks to be without him all week and than to have him have to work in wilmington friday night sucks too.. just means no time to *catch up* i will have to rush to wash uniforms while he gets some sleep.. but at least he has the weekend off.. guess got to be happy for the little things huh?
i think owen is starting to have some anxiety issues or something i dunno.. but hes about to wear out my hip thats for sure.. poor baby though.. first my mom left and than today ron and grandaddy took off.. he wouldnt even give grandma kisses this afternoon which he always does .. im worried that so many leaving is starting to concern him.. its not like you can to clearly explain to him that all will be okay and that they will be home on such a day.. although i have told him.. so hopefully he will calm down on the hip riding a bit tomorrow and the next day..
right now he is doing okay though.. playing around the house with his brothers while i sneak online to check things out and listen to some music.. had him dancing earlier.. way to cute!
lets see what else..
oh yeah thats the big news of today...

Clyde is One!!

yep my clyde puppy is one years old *smiles* such a sweet baby too.. got a few extra treats and im sure enjoyed every last one of them..

well i suppose thats it for now.. havent been able to talk to mother much today.. apparently my aunt doesnt like the noise of mothers phone and says she talks to loud when she is on the phone.. *rolls eyes* hang in their mom.. you made the right decision to go.. and the time she is at work will give you both that bit of a break from each other.. although im thinking the idea of retiring to the same house when your old and gray isnt going to be the best idea in the world.. when one likes complete silence and low heat.. and the other is used to warmth and loudness.. yep this might just not be a match made in heaven.. maybe being neighbors will be a good thing after all huh?

December 12, 2009

We are on our way renovation wise at mothers house.. the new roof was completed a week ago (aprox) and I have been dedicating a lot of time to cleaning up the kitchen.. Not a fun job but only a bit left and than I will move onto the utility room which is still my most dreaded room of the house to tackle. Currently though all cleaning has been haulted as we have moved all furniture out of the bedrooms and livingroom so that the carpets can be installed this week..
Added to our list of *to do's* is now removing things from the 3 old mobile homes so they can be removed.. Oh what fun to figure out where to stick that stuff.. I guess I need to get my brain moving to see what can be used in the house and what will go to storage until mothers return..
in other news..
I received a letter from aunt Ruth with a check from grandma d's estate saying grandma wanted what little she had to be divided among the children and used in a way to honor her.. it was such a sweet gesture on her part. Ron and I have decided to spend it on our boys of course but aren't 100% sure as of yet how too.. We have a few ideas but that's it so far.
My hardest thing is writing back.. Its no huge secret to me that I'm not exactly welcomed with open arms to this side of the family.. It was well known at dads funeral exactly how some felt and the reason why I have never included them into my lives.. I mean what's the point in it? So writing a letter and not sounding like a total bitch is hard but I also refuse to play all nice'y nice too.. Finding that good medium however has been the issue. I think for me the saddest part is I've never done anything wrong.. just simply lived my life and been myself. But oh well my life hasn't been damaged or lost anything by them not being apart of it.. I've never lost sleep over it or anything else.
TTC wise finds us again in the 2ww.. Stopped temping around O time only because my thermometer is down.. I mean its obvious when u take your temp twice using 2 different ones and one is a degree higher than the other that somethings not working right but at least we got in lots of baby dancen so all is good .. Now just got to wait..
Well time to get Owen out of the tub.. And than to bed soon.. Will update again soon..
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

December 7, 2009

Today is wyatts 8th birthday.. We has his party last Friday because mother was trying hard to be here for it and with the quick drive in and out of town my aunt decided to do, there was no way to make it closer to his actual birthday. All is good though he loves his nintemdo dsi so getting it a few days early was great for him.
Ron and I are still moving along on mothers house. The roof was completed today and now we wait for the bathroom floor to be repaired before moving forward on flooring. Still weighing our odds on the cheapest way for install.. But really in no hurry.. Mother will be gone for quite some time and I'm trying to get things cleaned up in the house. so far working hard on the kitchen and getting it cleaned up.. I'm thinking one room at a time will be my best bet to not get overwhelmed.. I'm still trying to figure out which day is best to brave the utility room.. My worst fear!
I think tomorrow I will start out by spraying down the showers and letting them sit for a bit before respraying and scrubbing like a crazy lady.
ttc wise.. I believe I'm O'ing late again this month like last.. which means bd'n must continue.. Tonight and possibly tomorrow are ideal.. ron has a headache so is taking a nap.. Hoping to bd when I make it to bed.. If not.. Deff in the morning.. I just don't want to miss this month.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

december 4th 2009

headed to walmart tonight with mother to do some last minute shopping. hard to believe how fast time is going by. she will be heading out early sunday to go to colorado with buzzy. buzzy should be here sometime tomorrow afternoon so my morning will be spent at mothers house getting things as straight as possible until buzzy arrives.
than the real fun begins.. getting everything completed on mothers house while she is gone. we are hoping to have the roof done on sunday and than the inside work will begin. fun fun fun for me for a month.
im still not sure when mother will return home but thinking mid january. i know if buzzy had it her way she would just stay in colorado with her and rent the house out but i know mother wont do that, her home is here with her grandkids and us girls.. so i may have to make sure there is enough money left in her account incase an emergancy bus or plane ticket is needed *lol*
ah well.. i better get moving. have an early morning and so much to do.. sleep is important tonight..
i promise i will update more soon..

november 29, 2009

I got the tree lights re-strung tonight but figured I better slow up on the decorating due to one mad Wyatt if I had it all done and nothing for him to do..
Years ago wyatt and I made a ton of tree ornaments out of this clay type stuff.. Well we have used them for a few years.. But this year they are soft *scary* so they are going in the trash.. Hopefully he won't be to upset.
Yesterday was the floatilla.. Where they bring Santa into town on a Christmas lite boat and have others decorated that they *parade* around on the water.. The old town shops are all open and decorated for the Christmas season.. After seeing Santa come in you just wander the shops.. Its actually pretty neat to go to but this year we skipped it. Owen has a boogie nose and just didn't want to drag him out into the cold for it.
Instead of hitting the floatilla we ran to lowes and mom got her new wood floors which will be laid in the kitchen, dining room, and utility room. I can't wait to see what they will look like in the end. Bet it will be pretty!
now all that's left is getting the carpets ordered.. The roof stuff.. Getting up with the roof installer and hope'n to get the flooring guys over.. Oh yes and also to find the square footage of the bath and getting that tile laid.. Fun fun fun and only 30 something days to get it done in.
Now if only I can get her moving more on getting things out vs having her trying to pull the last but of vynil off the dining room floor.
the count down now begins to wyatts party.. Still can't believe he is going to be 8 years old on the 7th.. His party will be early (the 4th) so mother will be able to attend.. She's leaving out on the 6th.
TTC wise all is good.. Were finally to the bd'n side of things and I'm hopeful for a good chance this month.. Honestly all I want for my birthday and Christmas is that bfp.. But still trying to be realistic and not get my hopes up..
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

November 27, 2009 (or some early hour Nov. 28th)

Thought I would share my adventures in black Friday shopping..
Now normally I would have happily been snug in my bed with my sexy man but nope not today.. Instead I found the alarm going off at 3am after only a few hour cat nap and 10 minutes after the *off.. Roll.. Ignore* my baby was there saying *sweetie you got to get up* okay okay..
I somehow made it to the shower.. Tossed on some makeup and was ready to walk out the door at 4am..
What brings you out at 4am on the craziest shopping day of the year?
Well wyatts birthday present of course..
Yep just that one small item.. The Nintendo dsi that has been dancing in my guys mind for weeks now.. The cool Mario metalic blue one.. The one advertised for the low *cough cough* price that would drag me out into the freezing weather on a day I should have been snuggled in my bed.. Ah the things kids make us do.. Or is it not their want but our hunt for that bargin?
Now I thought with a 5am open time arriving a few hours early was going to rock.. Holly hell was I wrong.
Sears.. Belks.. Walmart.. All the parking lots were am full.. Even mcdonalds was overly busy for the o'dark hundred hour..
We pulled into best buy and omg I have never seen a line like that before.. I at first thought. Wow big line.. Until I realized it went around the corner to the end of the building and beyond..
To the end of the line we went.. Standing and waiting.. And waiting.. Did I mention waiting?
Finally half froze and almost 35 minutes later.. We moved into the store.. To stand in yet another line and wait some more..
So wait some more we did.. Got the gift.. And waited a bit more.. Checked out and headed home.
2 hours of my sleep gone.. A pretty bill .. And one birthday gift later and I was crawling back into bed for a nap with my sexy hubby and my sweet Owen who I found snuggled in daddys arms when I got home.
Needless to say I'm running on empty energy wise..
Just got Wyatt to sleep and headed for some extra snuggle time with my hubby..

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

November 24, 2009

I think the stresses of mothers house renovations are starting to get to me..
I've always heard that renovations and home building can be trying but as for that side its really good.. My issues are more along the side of her making decisions... Her moving on getting prep work done and that side of it.
I need certain things done before she leaves for Colorado reguardless if the work is started or not.. I don't need her leaving me a zillion things to do yet her motovation is zilch! I need her to pick out what she wants.. Not her him hawing on anything.. I need her to decide which is more important bottom line cost or colors.. I need her to realize some things.
In all honesty her being gone would make things just that much easier..
Today we talked cars.. I know the max spe ding amount however when I point out different vehicles newer and in her price range I get *well I want this or this* in sorry some things like a roof rack aren't on my priority list for someone who never hauls anything on her roof.. Neither is seperate 2nd row seating. I wish we could special order everything down to the paint color but if they only have this in white well than deal with white! We aren't buying new and you aren't spending a small fortune.. Now stop driving me insane!
And nooo your floor covering doesn't have to match your toilet color or wall color.. Think outside the box lady *grr*

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

November 23, 2009

Today was Owens 15 month appointment.. He weighted in at 26 pounds 8 1/2 ounces and is 33 3/4 inches tall. Was way to cute and shy with his doctor.. clinging tightly to me and only shooting her glances from the corner of his eye.
Owen got 3 shots.. The n1h1, second half of his regular flu and a regular baby vaccinne.. We go back in Feb. For his 18 month check up where I'm guessing we will see how the water in his boy parts is doing and decide if we keep watching it or look towards having it removed ..
This is a short school week for my bigger guys.. Only today, tomorrow and half a day on wed. Than off until Monday due to thanksgiving.. I think rons gping to try to grill a turkey again.. At least I hope so. He did once before and it was the best! He's talking about slowly roatissering this one on the grill *yumm*
We headed up towards Raleigh.. Actually ended up a bit past yesterday to pick up the Christmas trees we ordered. I believe wed Ron is planning to set up at the church and get that going..hopefully some of this rain will go away before than. We are still unsure of we should just move them at night or chance a few wking off.. Sad when you almost expect someone to steal a few Christmas trees from out front of a church huh?
Anywho that's about all I have for now.. Almost time for my bigger guys to get home from school.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

November 21, 2009

Thought for sure this was going to be *our* month but no such luck.. I have to admit that this has been the hardest cycle with the hag show we've had to deal with so far.. Mainly because she showed late and Ron and I were both that sure that this was it.. But I think we are past the disappointment now and moving forward to getting past the hag so we can get to baby dance'n again.. This is cycle number 14 since Owen was born and cycle 11 of trying..
Tomorrow we have to be up at O'dark hundred in the morning to go get about 30 Christmas trees.. Ron met a guy (Christmas tree farmer) a few months back and after some discussion we decided to place an order. The pastor at his parents church is going to allow us to set up there at the church since they have a turkey shoot going on .. The church is getting a % of the profit sales and the rest is Christmas money for the boys! I think we will do pretty well .. At least I'm hoping so. Even if we just double our money we will be good and beat out the cost of most everyone else selling around.
Also I'm trying to get things straight for wyatts 8th birthday.. Trying to plan it for before mother leaves for the whole month of December.
Other than that we have been staying busy trying to get things straight at mothers house and trying to find her a *new to her* vehicle. She wanted everything done before she left but I don't see that happening. So for now were hoping at least for the vehicle purchase and the stuff picked out. Ron and I will handle all else including the roof and flooring stuff.. So much fun. we know what she wants for the most part.. Have the roof installer picked out now just have to get the funds which has been the biggest pain to take care of. I know the way I want the house when she returns.. Let's just hope we can manage to get it that way before she gets home.
Anyways that's about it for now.. Will update more soon.
Ooh I almost forgot.. Got the photo Christmas cards of the boys in today and the look awesome! And they cost me nothing! I'm so thrilled.. Now to start sending them out.. Wait.. Do I even know 50 people?
if you want to order some of your own..
Go to.. www.seehere.com
They have to be the 4x8 cards.. Once your done creating yours.. Select 50 for how many and at check out type in
Freebies4mom-1109
No shipping charge nothing.. Mine were here in a matter of days and yes they came out great!
Offer expires 11/30/09 so act soon!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

November 16th 2009

Sorry I have been neglecting my blog lately...
*little* ron celebrated his 16th birthday on November 10th..hard to believe in 2 years he will be an adult! For his birthday he got a 14 foot Atlantic with a 40 horse on the back. Most kids want that first car.. My little ron over the top excited about a new boat! Needless to say he loved his gift and has been working on it and going out in it ever since. yesterday he put a horn on it and today on went an additional higher up rear light. Him and daddy took it out this weekend for a spin on Sunday morning. Wyatt was going to ride however changed his mind when he was woken up.
other than that.. I'm waiting on the hag to decide what she's going to do.. She may be here tomorrow but I'm hoping instead to get to put the money into a hpt and see a bfp. I'm trying not to get my hopes up to high but we shall see if my temps fall to the depths of hell in the morning. The lovelyness of ttc..
this month seems to be flying by.. Only a short time left before mother will be heading to Colorado for an entire month. I'm sure she will have lots of fun though so that's good.. A nice break will be good for her.
While she is gone we will get to have the fun of doing her stuff around the house. She is finally going to get the new roof put on as well as a newer vehicle and hopefully her flooring put down.. Lots to do but oh so worth it. Its been so long since she's been able to get this stuff done..
Anyway.. That's where we are for now..
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

November 6th 2009 (i think)

crazy how my days sometimes end so confused that i dont know the exact date.. well that and its after 1am so um yeah.. is it still *today* or is it now *tomorrow*.. i suppose its all in how you look it at.

anyways.. im happy to say that im considering myself in the 2ww.. although i havent gotten my clear *cross* on FF.. im still thinking im past O by well.. 1 or 2 days depending again on how you look at *right now*

crazy to think.. that in 2007 at this time we were ttc our Owen.. and this would be the month/cycle that we got pregnant with him.. how strange and kind of crazy if it happens the same for us this time, of course the dates are off a bit but ah well.. not everything can be marked the same to a T now can it?

i do have to brag on Ron a bit.. you couldnt ask for a more understanding, caring, and loving husband than him.. its nice to have him ask how my temps are and being so supportive these last few months in TTC.. i dont think most men fully understand what women go threw when they are doing everything to pin point that one time.. and how important that timing of *baby dancing* that time is.. so thank you my sweet love'n man.. for not making me break out the flowers and chocolates and just letting me *get mine* hahaha..
seriously though.. it is awesome to have a husband who tries to understand it all and who is sweet enough to ask how things are going during all of this.. and of course for dealing with me if and when the old hag showes up while i have my few minute pitty party knowing that we have to do it all again another month (not the baby dancing thing but everything else)..
TTC is a very stressfull over emotional journey.. and yeah in the end there is nothing better than them two pretty pink lines on a hpt.. but getting there can be a battle..

i know im not alone in the women who can thank their men for doing the same for them.. so ladies.. give your man a hug and say *thanks babe* for just simply putting up with your one track mind (which im sure to them at times is what it feels like)

November 4th, 2009

Had wyatts parent teacher conferance today and got his first report card .. He did really well. Nearly at the middle for math which is where he should be for this time of year.
Reading and writting were behind but I expected that.. Its the whole reason for the re-evaluation on his IEP the end of last year. He is seeing a reading teacher on a daily basis and her report was good as well. Said that he is progressing as he should be for the goals that have been set for him.
His teacher did bring up the *sight words* and I told her I didn't expect him to be very high in them.. After all his score was low at the end of last year. She told me that it was good ..
We also discussed reading at home and getting him to read more to me than just me to him. Last year his reading teacher sent books home with him nightly for us to read together (more Wyatt reading and me helping) and so we are going to resume that this year. She is going to start sending home bag books with him for us to read and I'm going to see what I can find in the store.
Also she is going to drop some of his spelling words. We talked about a special list but I don't see him needing that as much as I do him just needing less to memorize. I think maybe I will take the time to talk to someone at his doctors office about his learning issues .. It does somewhat concern me it all seems memory related. I can't help but wonder if there isn't some underlying cause that just might be able to be worked with.
Wyatt was always a quick learner .. Walking before he was 10 months old... he's always been a talker other than just not pronouncing things correctly and of course the whole refusal to say things.. Like mama until he was 2 years old.
I dunno.. All in all it was a good meeting and of course I got to hear how easily he makes friends.. What a great and friendly personality he has as well as how much he loves to talk.. with his teacher adding in.. Not to be disruptive or rude to myself or my classroom assistant but just to share with us his stories.
I'm very pleased about how good he is in school.. Such a sweet boy he is!
Really made my day today!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

November 1st 2009

wow i cant believe that its already november.. where is the year just flying by too?

we did something new for halloween this year, although most years would find us out trick or treating the streets with our superhero, scary monster, or cute fuzzy animal.. this year found us heading to TOTUS to check it out. TOTUS is trick or treat under the sea which was put together by our local aquarium.
all in all TOTUS was a good time, however there were a few areas we werent to pleased with, like the fact that they used venders for trick or treating to.. so when a child went up and said *trick or treat* mom and dad were quickly hit up with a sales pitch.. surely could have used without that side of it.. no i dont have any plans of buying your mary kay and no i dont want to go check out your charter school, summer camp or whatever else you are trying to sell me. now i could understand the vender side if this was a free event which it wasnt there was a charge at the door.. so um yeah could have done without that.
all in all it was neat to go threw the aquarium and see what they did decoration wise.. im sure it could have been more creative and spooky however i do think this was geared towards a much younger age group and on that side i wouldnt expect more than it was.
the boys had fun and ultimately in the end thats all that mattered.
i tried to think of other halloween fun we could have on halloween night and the nights leading up to it.. so friday night found wyatt and i locked in the kitchen making spooky halloween cakes..
i made a spider and wyatt made what has become known as his *boo* cake.. one that he drew out and designed himself. it was a ton of fun.. i love to see his creative side come out and he loves loves loves to cook..
halloween night itself found us deep in a game of monopoly and just having great family times. needless to say wyatt kicked everyones butt..
little ron pushed me out of the game first, than took care of daddy.. and than wyatt went in and wiped his big brother clean. it was funny to watch the game end, i dont think little ron was to overly happy about loosing to his little brother!
after our game we all had a peice of boo cake and than it was time to settle down for the night.
tonight its just relaxing and getting things done around the house.. clyde is in a big need for a bath, and well me and the bigger boys are just hanging around doing whatever. poor ron had to work today *pouts*

now the countdown begins until little ron turns.. 16!! omg time is just flying by ~

October 24, 2009

Man what a busy day today was..
Woke up @ 6am and spent some time with ron before he headed out to work.
Once he was gone, I got myself and my guys ready to head out to the flu vaccine clinic at the kids doc office. After a long.. Hot.. Boring.. 2 hour wait, we finally got in for the 2 second vaccines and were able to leave. Couldn't believe how many people were there so early.. With the clinic starting at 9am, we thought we were making awesome time by getting there at 9:10am.. Boy were we wrong! Apparently we weren't the only ones who had the early morning get in and out idea..
Since we have to go back in 30 days for the next vaccine, I think we will just plan to take camping gear and camp out on the office lawn the night before.. I'm sure that will only put us #50 in line *lol*
After leaving the docs office, we dropped my nephews off at their house and headed to see ron.. Poor guy spending 10 hours at a craft sale thing.. Who would have ever thought a craft fair could equal the need for not one but 2 security guards? Apparently some must take their crafting pretty seriously.. Never can tell when a fight will break out over who knits tighter or when some passerby will attempt to snag and run with someones recycled plastic store bag purse (and yes there was a woman who was selling them).
I'm sure to a crafter the whole festival thing was great .. I just don't get the need for the major security.. However on a positive note, ron did get to baby sit a *taco bell dog* named taco for a lady.. Plus he got to have some good southern NC BBQ ~
After we left ron.. We headed to the mall where I got a new purse.. Much bigger than I'm used to and would normally consider .. But more than enough room to drop a few diapers in, a change of clothes for owen and the small wipe container.. Yes! No more dragging the diaper bag everywhere I go. At least not for a quick trip to the store.
The best part.. My new purse was a good deal, reg price $85 on sale for $40!
Now I'm counting down the time till all the kiddos are snug in their beds so I can go take a much needed soak in the tub!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

October 9, 2009

not much has been going on lately.. just the same old same on a different day..

mother is officially fired from her job now, still sucks that the company left to go to an area of NC where the county taxes were cheaper and where they could buy land and have a new warehouse built for a cheaper price than to fix the warehouse here..
after nearly a full 18 years of employment.. mother walks away with a joke of a severance package and thats about it. grant it the severance package isnt one they had to hand out, but still it was a joke of one.
not sure what she is going to do .. there are roughly 300 new potential employees in our area thanks to the closing.. so finding a job although not extremely difficult with her years put in and dedication to her job, will still be a bit hard seeing as there are so many looking.

rons working quite a bit this week because of so much going on this week.. although it will be back to nothing next week again, still need to get him signed up for classes in the spring although he has decided to go for marine purpolsions (i always kill that word), so that will be cool.. i have a feeling that little ron will follow in his footsteps and thats even greater!

as for our ttc, im on 3dpo which is awesome! although im not overly thrilled with having dotted lines instead of a good solid one, having a clear O date is making me happy.. lets just hope that we caught that eggy this month.. trying hard not to get my hopes to high because of the let down in the end, however at the same time its just so hard not to dream.

well i guess thats about it for now..

October 4, 2009

im soo proud of me *lol* today i made my first basic siggy *smiles* its nothing over the top or whatever but.. i made it all by myself and yes thats a cool thing... at least to me it is!

got rons work schedule today and all i can say is *wow* i mean his hours are CRAZY this week.. one night i wont even get to see him, its straight from one job site onto the next.. good thing this weekend is prime time for baby making because if it wasnt we would be seriously up shit creek on this month..

lets just all hope that this months our last month trying to get preggo.. you know thats seriously the worst part of it all.. you do all of these things to try to get pregnant and can only hope that this month is your last month doing it.. than you can at least relax for the next 9 months and wait as your bean grows..

today is clydes bath day.. im soo sucking though i just dont want to move *lol* although i need to get busy soon.. its almost time for the bedtime rush to get the kiddos all settled after all tomorrow is a school day. i also plan on tackle'n the room tonight and getting it straightened up.. got a few things on my list and so far nothing getting done.. okay thats it i refuse to sit and play here any longer.. i am going to get busy *chants to herself* turn on some music and get'r done *lol*

anyways.. thought i would share the siggy i made (see above) *psst* if you click on it .. it makes it bigger in a new window.. arent my guys just the cutest?

october 3, 2009 (part 2)

well today has been a pretty relaxing day!
set the alarm for 6am so i could temp.. than back to bed i went.. woke up to ron watching tv in the bedroom on the computer and kinda dozed off and on from there until finally crawling my butt out of bed ~
ron made breakfast *yumm* and than went to lay down himself since he had to work a long shift last night.. wanted to go snuggle with him but with the boys home that was a no go.. so i stayed up and just kinda hung around the house doing much of nothing..
little ron decided to take his boat out so mother being so sweet took owen and wyatt down there for a few hours while he did that.. this gave me time to shower and what not.
after they boys came home it was dinner and than time to wake ron up for work tonight.
got everything together for him so he could leave on time and than came in the house to eat dinner myself and than it was time to do cooking with wyatt again..
tonight we made peanut butter cookies *yumm* not the big fancy cake that he imagined us making but its what we had stuff in the house to make so thats what we did.
now everyone is relaxing and getting ready for bed.. me, im finishing up a load of laundry and just waiting for ron to get home from work tonight so i can attack him *wink wink*

yep another boring day in our house *lol*

October 3, 2009 (part 1)

Our bolo is over.. The infamous missing fish has been found. Of course it was found feeling more like fish jerky but on the positive side, at least it wasn't in anyones hands, mouth, or clydes by products!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

October 2, 2009

Well among other things going on this week...
We have a missing fish! Seriously a missing fish!
Now there is no denying that I was not a fan of the fishes.. They were brought into the house because of a loving grandma *rolls eyes* I'm sorry nothing against the fishes but I hate to clean up there bowls and I mean who thought fish would be a great pet is beyond me.. Give me something cute and fuzzy that I can play with.. Not a fish that just swims in a bowl.
So yes I admit I have been counting down the days till they would pass away..
So the other day I went into the boys room to add water to the fish bowls.. And they were happily swimming around.. Maybe 2 hours later, little ron comes to tell me that he had something to show me.. So I follow to see his fish floating in the fish bowl.. And than he said *but mom.. Where is wyatts fish?* so I said *in his... Oh shit!* now 2 hours ago the fish was happily swimming in his bowl but now the bowl was empty.
The last time this happened it was princess daxie who came running fish in mouth..yeah someone went fishing and caught a fish *eww with a side of ick*
But this time.. The missing fish is just that.. Missing! We've searched high and low.. And we can't find it. I've put out a house wide bolo (be on the look out) for the fish.. But still no sign.
My worst fear is owen will find the fish and with his age its first to mouth second to showing mom.. This will seariously give new meaning to *fresh fish* or would that be a new flavor of jerky? Either way just gross!
Daxie hasn't presented *her man* with another gift.. And well clyde.. He could easily swallow it but I do draw the line when it comes to searching his *by product* for fish bones..
For now we will just wait and hope the fish shows up in a non-yucky way..and that we don't smell something stinking any time soon..
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

September 29, 2009

This has turned out to be the week of *if one thing goes wrong it all goes wrong*
First the fridge died.. Not an overly huge issue as we do run 2 fridges in the house however when the back one has been acting up for months now, it does make you cringe wondering *how long until that one freezes over again* with the main fridge down, time now is spent waving around options to fix or replace it.. Of course that's if its even fixable.
I am however left wondering why some house members continue to use the dead fridge leaving ron and I to constantly have to move things that need to be cold.. To the fridge that does something other than keep things warm!
Next on our list of *oh gee now what* is the ac/heating unit that has started making this horrid noise and found me sitting in the house of 80* all day yesterday .. Ok why am I complaining about 80*? Because whoever built this house didn't believe in crosswinds and so its 80*'s of no wind heat..we did break down and mess with the unit last night although not fully sure with what is wrong did manage to run it last night per request of others in the house. Personally I think with as cool as its been at night, who needs it than? During the day a slightly different story.
Now we are wondering what is next on the list to go.. After all, things always happen in 3's right?
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

september 19, 2009

well i thought i would do some update'n ~

wyatt was home sick today from school.. he only has a small cold but due to a student recently having the (regular) flu they are being a bit more careful on the kids who are in there that arent feeling 100%. apparently the day before he was coughing up a storm so they sent him to the nurse to make sure he didnt have a fever which he didnt so all was good on that end.. but i thought a day home would do him some good.

he has been doing good in his classes, homework has so far been smooth although i dont think im doing it exactly how his teacher would like but with the issues that wyatt has, i think its the best way to do it with him.. like with spelling words .. he will give me the order, i will write them out having him spell them for me and than he will re-write them. his teacher did send home a note saying that she didnt want parents to be doing this but i think with wyatts issues its best to continue to do it my way. even last year i worked more with him when it came to homework than im sure most parents did there children who didnt need that extra bit of help.
for the first time this year he did have speech homework so it was nice to see that, they are currently working on the ending T sound ~

little ron is still going along in high school.. still cant believe that he is already a 10th grader *ack* where is the time going. hes not liking the homework he gets for physical science but seems to be enjoying construction class.. right now they are building a box. apparently they do about 4 or 5 projects during the class and than at the end is there personal project.. the kids decide what they want to build and build it. i think he is highly considering taking construction 2 next year.
other than that he is getting in as much fishing as he can... tomorrow he wants to take his boat out but we shall see.. me im planning on catching up on some much needed sleep!

owen.. my sweet sweet baby owen is toddlen all over the house.. i love his smile so much! he was a little stinker today though and into anything and everything he could get into.. i cant believe he is already 13 and almost 14 months old.. time sure does fly by soo fast!

clyde .. went to the vet *lol* not sure if he was to happy with going but had to get a check up.. hes had a huge dander issue that we wanted checked out and apparently the best for dander.. fish oil so yep now he takes fish oil daily ~ cant believe that at just 9 months he already weighs 95 pounds! only a year and 3 months left of growing and they suspect he will be hitting another growth spirt again soon.

ron is working tonight but as normal with winter coming the season is over and the hours are cut back at his job.. he will be heading back to school in the spring and im soo excited for him to go.. he is finally going to take those photography classes he has been wanting to take.. come hell or high water that man is going to go..

as for me.. well ive just been doing the same old same.. taken care of the family and holding down the fort *lol* i dont think we have a chance this month at being pregnant so im just waiting to move onto the next cycle.. waiting is the worst part about ttc ..

sounds like life to me

Artist: darryl worley lyrics

Song:

sounds like life to me lyrics

listen via youtube here



Got a call last night from an old friends wife, said, I hate to bother you
But Johnny Ray fell off the wagon, hed been gone all afternoon
Well, I know my buddy, so I drove to Scullys and found him at the bar
Said, Hey Man, whats goin on, He said, I dont know where to start
Sarah's old car startin to fall apart and the washer quit last week
We had to put Mama in the nursing home and the baby's cuttin teeth

Sounds Like Life To Me
I didnt get much work this week and I got bills to pay
I said, I know this aint what you wanna hear but its what Im gonna say
Sounds like life to me, it aint no fantasy
It just a common case of everyday reality
Man, I know its tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk youre caught up in some tragedy
It sounds like life to me

Well, his face turned red and he shook his head
He said, you dont understand, three kids and a wife depend on me
And Im just one man, top it off we just found out that Sarahs two months late
I said, Hey, bartender, set us up a round, we gotta celebrate
Sounds like life to me, aint no destiny
Yeah, the only thing for certain is uncertainty
You gotta hold on tight, just enjoy the ride
Get used to all this unpredictability, sounds like life
Man, I know its tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk youre caught up in some tragedy
Sounds like life to me (sounds like life to me)
Sounds like life

september 7, 2009

i swear i think sometimes im going to drive myself insane with ttc..
today has been a horrible day.. i constantly am in worry that we are going to miss that slim chance to get pregnant and no matter how much i dont want to stress it, i just cant help but to do just that...
needless to say this found me today in a ton of tears.. im sure the rainy weather outside wasnt helping my mood much.. just an all around over emotional bad day.
i cant help but keep thinking we dont have the years to put into ttc that we once did.. lets face it .. in another 6-8 years im more likely to be stuck in menopause than to be pregnant.. so its like the clock is going off crazy mad in my head and at the same time its like the same conversation every day.. now is the time for us to go at it like *rabbits* and yet.. that cant happen because of rons work hours and just basic life stuff... and so im left thinking *we didnt even give it our all.. we swore last month we would but yet we havent* and .. argh i just dunno.. its slowly driving me crazy..
yet i cant give up, i wont give up.. i know there is one person missing from our lives, one person we havent even created yet that is going to be here..

i just need to *breath* .. ron woke up and knew i was sad.. so he held me and let me cry.. told me how that me and the boys are the best thing in his life.. and how without us he would be nothing..
truth be told he has been under alot of stress lately as well and us both stressing isnt good.. but we know that together we can do anything and everything and together we will..
i need to learn to have patience and he needs to learn that he is the most awesome'est guy around.. that as much as he says he is soo lucky to have me.. i know how lucky i am to have him.

if it happens this month, it does.. if it dont.. on to next month and hopefully more time to work harder on having our last little one.. our last miricle.. our last pride and joy..

teaching wyatt to cook

wyatt is by far my *wild child* always have been and i believe he always will be.. kind and loving, the first one wanting to snuggle and the one you can actually see his heart break if your crying.. but he is ultimately the one that also keeps you on your toes, the one that you learn over time to never trust when he gets to quiet because if he isnt sleeping and its quiet its a guarantee that he is into something he shouldnt be! he is the one whose name you find yourself saying all day long as well...
but one thing that i have found that he loves to do.. is COOK .. so cooking we do. it started with him helping me cook in the kitchen, he loves just dragging out a cook book and searching to see if we have all the ingrediants to make something from it.
well last night, we decided to have *frozen pizza* for dinner.. so i started with having wyatt get the oven on and showing him which buttons to push as well as having him get the pizza pan ready and than very carefully putting it in the oven.
i dont think i have ever seen a child enjoy frozen pizza so much in my life.. so proud of making it himself! so whats on his dinner menu tonight? can you guess??

yep.. frozen pizza again *lol* and yes he is mr chef again..

one thing about wyatt is you just have to love him.. no matter how some days he makes you want to pull your hair out .. hes just the greatest kid!

September 5th

*argh* I sometimes wonder why when doing things like opks they don't come with a decoder of sorts.. All have been clear negatives until today..
Although at first I thought *close* positive but not quite.. Now I find myself second guessing and just wanting to call it positive..
At least if I do call it positive, at least I know for sure we wont miss O and after all that is what we are aiming for right?
Other than my brain going *argh* today has been pretty good.
Mother took the boys down to the water to swim.. Owen loves going down there, crawling around and playing in the water.. He's such the water boy! Wyatt at first didn't want to go but quickly changed his mind.. And I'm sure is having the most fun too. Little ron, well he took his boat out to ride around.. He LOVES taking his boat out! Although he did get caught up in a gill net *grr* that was a total of about 30 minutes of drama.. But he got out and now all is good.
As for me.. I'm taking advantage of 3 minutes of quiet and fixing to start getting stuff ready to wake ron up for work.
Tonight is another 12 hour shift for him *grr* but tomorrow is only an 8 hour shift and after that who knows because the end of the season is here.. Only time will tell ~
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

September 2nd 2009

Well I suppose I have earned myself the nickname *slacker* when it comes to updating my blog.
Well we are now well into week 2 of school for my bigger guys.
Little ron seems to be enjoying being in 10th grade although it maybe the count down to how many more years he had in school making him smile.
Wyatt seems to like his teacher this year, is busy making new friends and talking to old ones. He has also started his special education classes and seems to be enjoying them.
Rons still working a ton of over time but that should almost come to a dead stop after this weekend.. I swear seasonal work sites suck!
Owen is growing like a weed and doing so much more each day. I love to watch him.. He is now walking all over the house like he has been doing it forever!
As for ttc.. Well we are on month 3 of temping and have added in opks .. This is a first for me but I figured why not give it a try..kwim?
My *sister* (and I'm using that term loosely) is back to her games. This time talking trash about little ron. I'm used to her trashing me and ron.. But do NOT trash my kids!
Needless to say I've decided I'm done .. Done with the drama, done dealing with her.. Just done!
I guess that's pretty much it for now.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

August 22nd

ah here i am again not up on my postings here and my daily blah blah blahs that i know everyone just loves to come and read *lol*

well lets see what is the latest and greatest...

went to *little* rons school on thurs but only to get his bus schedule to see if it had changed or not, everything is the same as it was which is cool, we thought for sure that he would be moved up the street again because the other 2 kids on the block are entering high school this year but nope, they will find their ways to our driveway on the first day of school.

wyatts school we hit on friday.. got to find his classroom and meet his teacher, double checked his bus schedule and all was the same for him to so thats good. i feel very confident that he will find his way to class on the first day and keep asking simple questions like *which way do you go when you get into the school?* and *what building is the classroom in?* and than followed by *what is your classroom number?* hoping that it will slowly start to sink in and he will be okay on the first day..

for some reason i always worry on that first day that the kiddos will get lost..

in other news, little ron got a truck *ack* yes i said *little* ron.. its nothing over the top special .. just a mid 80's chevy s-10 than needs a bit of work but will be an awesome project car or rather truck for him to work on over the winter.. hard to believe that he will be 16 in just a few months!
so can you guess what he has been doing the past few days? *lol* yesterday after he did some sanding on it we went out and washed it and got all the yuck off of it.. the truck hasnt been registered since 2007 and from what i understand has been sitting pretty much since than. i know what he wants to do is put his engine in it.. hes had the engine forever now, a 350 i think.. and you can put them into the smaller trucks with a conversion kit thats not to cheap.. guess someone has some clamming to do *lol*

owen is a walking fool now.. walking all over the house in every direction imaginable.. you cant keep him down thats for sure, he is such a great kid.. i love when he wants to snuggle after waking up or as he gets tired and just wants to get *loved on* i think its my all time favorite time with him.. well that and seeing his big beautiful smile and them sweet eyes filled with love.

as for me, well im still in the 2ww and just twiddlen my thumbs and trying to be patient.. ah whos kidding, im about a basket case and over looking at everything and reading reading reading.. but still trying not to get my hopes up.. its not the dreaming that is bad, its the suddon crash that hurts you ~ only time will tell if we move on to another cycle or not..

rons been working tons.. lots and lots of hours this week, i will be happy if i get to see him early next week other than our few minutes as he is waking up and running out the door or as he is crawling into bed.. ah how i miss him so much when he works so much.. but i do know that he does it for us..

thats about it really.. just the daily grind of things going on..

lately ive been

looking at different aspects of schooling (for reasons i wont get into as of yet) and considering all different options out their..

ive looked into home schooling and unschooling which i have to say although im not that familiar with either (im learning slowly) i am pretty impressed with unschooling and what bit i have read on it. not knocking homeschooling by any means but the unschooling had an interesting side to it that appealed to me personally.

ive also looked a tiny bit at correspondence schooling .. ack i know i killed that word ~ ah i love spell check *lol*

ive also looked at our state requirements to do say home schooling or unschooling and they seem to require the same thing.. and although i am killed by big words (i need a decoder sometimes) i will say that they seem a bit *unreachable* if our future plans fall into play.

makes me wonder how people do these things... or how do you decided which way to go or what is best for you? and what if you have a child who is *learning disabled* i believe that is the fancy label they gave wyatt the end of last year.. i mean i know where he stands sort of thanks to all of the testing threw his elementary school.. but i do wonder, how does one decide what grade level to teach if the child isnt exactly up to that grade level in every aspect?

i do think that this year will give us a good base start on wyatts special education classes (yes they will continue governement aka public school this year) however.. what the future holds only my broken crystal ball would have been able to tell..

and... if you home school, or unschool your kids, well than how do you maintain that *home school* if you travel? like lets say that you decide to take a road trip or vacation to the grand canyon for a month (hey its a long drive from here *lol*) from what im finding on NC home schooling jibber.. if your out of state for to long, than you have to *close* your school and re-open it later...

and how do you determin a name and all that jazz for your home school? i mean it said that you had to come up with your own name etc (guess that makes sense and uh ron.. the F. U. NC school wont work.. although i see the humor in it with what i can semi understand)

and why do you have to take the standardized testing for the state if they wont provide you with a diploma (gotta print your own) and if they wont put the state seal on it as they do a regular goverment aka public school? i mean you have to jump threw their hoops and yet you have to get a seal of your own?

ah so many questions.. at least we have time to find answers to them...

August 11, 2009

Owen had his one year check up today and is a happy healthy little man. He weighted 23 pounds 12 3/4 ounces and is 31 1/2 inches tall.. Do you realize how close that is to a full 3 foot tall? I mean we are only talking 4 1/2 inches off ~
Poor guy also got 4 shots today.. But its (imo) better to get them than not.
Luckly he isn't to fussy yet.. Had some lunch when we got home and ready to play.. Although he does seem close to wanting to take a good nap. Part of me thinks I should nap with him specially when he wants to visit at O'dark hundred in the morning.. But I have wyatt home so mom curl in bed and nap with the sleeping daddy is totally out *pouts*
I know I'm on little rons bad mom list already today because I won't go down to the water.. I have the baby pool filled for owen and wyatt (if he chooses to jump in) but no little beach today. Instead owen is going to hopefully get a good nap in soon and we are going to relax here at the house by the plastic pool.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Had to laugh...

I was watching the great american roadtrip on an in demand channel and their was a commercial where jay leno asked a woman
*who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?*
And the woman blankly was like *i dunno*
Than he asked
*who lives in a pineapple under the sea?*
And she proudly said *sponge bob*

For those that don't know the answer to question one...
Its the address to the white house.. So the president lives there ~
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Busy day

Didn't get to bed until 4am or just after.. When ron works till 3am and the younger boys are at moms spending the night I stay up to spend a few minutes with him and get my hugs and kisses before heading off to bed.
Woke up later than normal due to my late night stay up.. Once awake, little ron started *can we take my boat out*
Little ron bought his small boat off of *uncle* chris for $20 and a trolling motor .. So I give and get ready to go.. He only has a trolling motor on it now but has huge dreams of a bigger boat motor ~ anyways we head out and first went to explore the small island at the end of the street, you know it would be the perfect place for primitive camping if I was sure it wouldn't flood in a high tide.
After leaving the island, we headed across the sound and up a few channels, was a nice 2 hour boat ride checking things out!
After getting home we had a bit of time with ron before he was out the door and off to work again.. Than clyde got his bath, I jumped in the shower and than got ready for some night time cast netting with little ron ~ he's still trying to catch a bunch of bait but having little luck at the times we have been down at the end of the roads.
Took clyde with us tonight and tossed in a small walk for him than headed back to the house to rest a few minutes before owen and wyatt get home from moms.
Wyatts been having fun playing with his cousin at moms and owen now waves *bye bye* can't wait to see him do it.
Well I'm off to change and toss that last load of laundry in and get it going.. Back swimming we will go tomorrow and tues is owens 1 year check up.. Wonder how much bigger he has gotten in the past few months..
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

August 8th

i think.. ack days running together again for me.. so not cool ~

well wed. august 5th we had a quick toss together party for Owen.. not my *ideal* party, the one i had planned out in my head but everyone was there (with the exception of grandaddy who had to work) and we had cake and presents .. so yeah it all worked out.
of course he wouldnt open his presents .. he looked at me half crazy when i tried to get him to *tear* up the paper as if saying *uh you tell me not to tear paper and now you are encouraging me to do so* ..
however the cake he had no problem tearing into.. at first he was like *there is something on my thumb* and than he tasted it and it was all over with from there! i was pleasantly surprised that ron had a piece of birthday cake with us, he isnt much into sweets and this i think was one of the few times that he has ever eaten a piece of cake...

fast forward to today...

we have rented some furniture from rent a center ~ yes yes i know cringe cringe cringe at the thought of that, but hear me out, now although im not a huge fan of the cost once completely paid for, i will tell you that when you need something replaced and when you dont have the cash up front they are good in a pinch and well lets face it if you dont like it, cant afford it, or whatever.. you send it back and there is no questions asked..

so what brought us to this point...

my mils couch and love seat.. now mind you they are decades old.. okay maybe not decades but at least i would guess 12-14 years old maybe.. and if you didnt make sure the wood was in the right place on the love seat.. yes i said wood.. as in 3 pieces of wood under the cooshin .. well than you would fall into the gaping hole and end up stuck in it with your butt on the floor.. (honestly seriously yes that bad) the couch wasnt as bad off and i believe they are going to toss it into our storage unit for now (just incase) ~ the couch however did have this huge hole and although tossing stuffing from the couch to the floor became one of owens favorite past times.. its one that just wasnt cool ~
so ron and i opted to rent some furniture until we can find replacement stuff.. we went and picked it out.. and although when seeing it today for the first time other than in a picture from their book.. it had to have time to grow on us.. i will give it that it is comphy as all get out.. we are still on the *fence* about if we like it or not.. but in time we will see.

at least we arent on the floor.. Owens not playing toss the stuffing and no one has any more fears of being swallowed by the love seat any time in the near future!

well im being bugged to go with lil ron to bait catch so i will update this some more later...

early morning hours of August 7th

wow what a busy past few days.. well sort of ~

Owen turned 1 on august 4th, cant believe he is one already.. seems like just yesterday we were heading to the hospital to start the induction process and here we are already one year later ~ some days i just wish he would slow down! but one thing i have learned over the years.. when it comes to kids, dont blink because you will miss so much of them growing up and just be left wondering *where did the time go?*
ron had to work on owens birthday *pouts* and since it was the day the xbox was to be sent back to moms house via ups and required a signature, well me and all 3 boys spent the day down there lounging in her pool.. oh dont be jealous, its not some huge luxury in ground pool.. its more of the kiddie sized sits on her back porch and is enough to keep you cool and the kids having fun ~ okay owen and wyatt having fun *lol*
thankfully lil ron hung out with me and helped keep an eye on the younger guys while i did some minor help around moms house during the time we were there.

argh.. i started this the other night and never did get it finished.. here i am days later trying to remember what i was talking about to post on it.. so i guess i will move on to a new post and try to finish up from there...

august 1st

its hard for me to believe that our little man Owen will be 1 years old on the 4th.. just days from now.. i keep thinking back to last year and knowing that it was any day now that i would be heading to my doctors office to find out what the plan was going to be as far as induction date to have him...

and now here we are 1 year later and i cant help but tear up when he looks at me standing in the living room and just gives me that HUGE smile with loved filled eyes ~

its around each of the boys birthdays that i start thinking about the days they were born and how i just cant imagine that so much time has past and how big each one of them are getting..

we went to walmart last night where little ron bought his first bike out of money that he himself earned clamming the past week.. *wow* he is getting way to big and way to fast ~ he loves to go clamming with *uncle* chris during the summer months and is hoping to get in a few more weeks of clamming before school starts back up.. this time he is going to save up to buy himself a kiack (ack at the spelling) something he has been wanting that we just dont have the extra cash to afford to buy him at this time.

wyatt is with owen at moms house this weekend, playing and having a good time im sure. we did pick up a small kiddy sized pool for the house (made of hard plastic to be clyde safe) for them to play in during the days that little ron will be clamming and where wyatt just doesnt want to go to the end of the road, not many kids live in the neighborhood and very few his age ~

ooh a small mommy brag moment ~
little ron had rode his new bike down to the end of the street today to see who all was down there .. the normal *drunkards* but still.. they talked to him for a bit and told him that tyler (a kid who lil ron spent much time with this summer and last summer) might be coming to live with his mom full time (he currently lives with his dad out of state) .. anyways. they told lil ron how they felt that he (tyler) has changed so much the past few years from the kid that orgionally came down for the first time last summer to the kid that left this summer to head home thanks to hanging out with little ron.
that is a HUGE compliment that they felt that he had helped tyler be a better person ~

we always get tons of complimants from parents around here whos kids hang out with little ron .. he is a really great kid!

we are on to cycle 2 of ttc now *pouts* a bit disheartening to me because i was really hoping it would happen quickly and it brings back alot of scare that we will again find ourselves trying forever for baby number 4.. a time period that we just dont have..
thankfully i have the most awesomess husband who is extremely supportive of everything and understands and comforts me when i get down about it. he truly is the best and i am ever so lucky to have him as mine forever ~

ron is working again tonight.. although im not sure till how long, he is trying to get one of the guys to change with him.. he says he just wants to come home and spend some quality time together .. although who knows what will happen..

we are looking hard now for a cheap used has 4 wheels and runs kind of car *lol* our requirements are so low on this one its not funny and the cheaper, truly the better for us right now.
at tax time we will upgrade.. at first we were talking a suburban but now ron is thinking a passanger van might even be better.. not my first choice because i just dont like vans but, he has some valid points on it .. our biggest concern is size.. the bigger the better because we have to fit little rons still growing long legs into it. when we origionally traded our envoy in for our aspen, we had plenty of room and now find ourselves in the same situation of no room again in the aspen..

i am so looking forward to getting back to basics with everything its not funny.. i miss the *simpler* life with less payments going out and more money to do the little things with.. even a weekend trip to the zoo or a nice small close to home camping trip ~ its the little things that we can do to bring and keep our family close together and give our kids the great memories of growing up that is needed... and wanted by all.
somewhere along the lines of over priced car payments and what not, that all got lost but no more will life be that way for us ever again..
i would rather leave a credit'less life than to have to owe everyone..
i once said that *you know when you have it all because it belongs to everyone else* and i realize now what a wrong statement that was.. yes we had our house that we were buying, a brand new car in the driveway, furniture payments etc.. but were these things the things that made us truly happy? no they werent.. what truly made us happy was just being together.
our current situation isnt ideal .. and we are slowly working on that, one thing at a time, one paycheck at a time.. and soon we will be to where we wish to go. as i told ron, the only time i will accept another *payment* would only be to a home and than i would want to have a good down payment and low monthly payments ... it would deff have to be worth our while.. even though i hate the idea of lining someone elses pocket to pay their mortgage or whatever in a rental and know that its *throwing away money* homes in our area are expensive and a move is not anywhere in our future. one thing we also agree on is our childrens educations are important and i will not lower their education to make a home more affordable..

July 27, 2009

Yesterday marked the 17th anniversary of my mor-mors passing. I didn't realize it until mom came to drop the boys off and was in a *mood*. Maybe its wrong in some peoples eyes but I prefer to celebrate and remember her life, not her death.
Owen is still running a low grade fever today, but at least they seem to be well spread out. His last 2 were at 5am and than 11am. So far no boogie nose or anything else .. For now I will keep an eye on it and see where it goes and what it does. My worst fear is another ear infection. Although our bigger boys never had many, I do realize each child is different and so he may just be one to get them often.
Rons working days today for a change but is back on the night shift tomorrow.
Not sure if the boys and I will be swimming today. With owens fever even being low grade I'm not sure that the water is the place for him to be.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

july something or other *lol*

im so horrible on dates in the summer time ~

rons working again tonight ~ it was only supposed to be an 8 hour shift but got changed to a 12 hour shift when someone called out sick for the next few days. tomorrow is supposed to be his day off and i was so looking forward to just being able to spend time together even if its doing nothing more than snuggle'n and watching some tv.. but it looks like that might not happen now ~ apparently another guy is out sick now and so they are looking for someone to cover a 16 hour shift. i know his dad is starting the shift but looking for someone to help cover part of it so he isnt stuck there the whole 16 hours by himself *argh* not sure what ron is going to do.. as much as i know he needs the rest i do know he is thinking money too because we have so much that needs to be taken care of right now.
ive been looking for a *new to us* junker car.. our *must have* list on this one is so low.. just 4 wheels and runs *lol* we will be able to upgrade but not until sometime next year when we get our tax return back ... for now its just the basic junker and the cheaper the better. found one on craigslist for $250 that might be worth looking into but im not sure yet... hard to car shop when you havent gotten that paycheck yet kwim?

mom has Owen and Wyatt staying at her house this weekend although i dont think she has my nephew brandon.. not sure why not though ~ she called me today and told me that Owen has a low grade fever and the infamous boogie nose is back and in full force.. i think hes teething again ~ its been a while since his last tooth and so thats probably all it is, but its horrible when he teeths, out of all of our babies, i think so far that he has taken teething the worst.. cant blame him though when you really think of what it is.. sharp things just pushing threw your gums.. yeah i would be hurting too. *hmm* wonder if she remembers that the teething tabs are in his over night stuff ~

lil ron spent today fishing with a friend. sounds like he had fun but didnt catch anything at all .. well other than a cast net full of bait fish which he brought home to freeze. his friend however not only caught a few small things (baby flounder in a cast net etc) but he also caught himself *ouch* yep a trebble (spelling) hook into his back.. needless to say he went to the ER tonight to have it removed..
hes home now (texted lil ron) and the hook has been removed so all is good, im sure come tomorrow you will find both of them at the water fishing again. thats one thing about kids, they tend to bounce right back and get right back to it no matter what.

as for me.. i got to enjoy waking up in my favorite place ~ laying in rons arms.. than i lazily worked myway out of bed and have been working on uploading my pics from my old blackberry to the computer. i swear thats enough to give anyone a headache ~ finally got it figured out early this evening.. and went for a walk with lil ron and clyde..
tomorrow is bath day for our clyde, the day i need to get all my plants back on the porch where they belong and out of the yard.. and well hopefully some extra snuggly time with my man!

missing my man *sad*

tonight has been one of them nights.. im used to him calling me off and on all night long and getting to talk to him but not tonight, been pretty busy at work for him so he dont get a chance to call *pouts* i miss him so much, and than find out earlier that he has to pull another 12 hours tomorrow instead of the 8 plus might be having to cover for someone else on sunday which was supposed to be his only day off this week.. i was so looking forward to just snuggle'n in bed all day with him and just relaxing and spending some quality time with him but that will probably be out the door now ~

i know i know we need these hours and have so much on our plate right now to take care of but that dont make it any easier when i miss him so much.

at least the paycheck might look good again, good thing too.. its already spent like the last one ~ i will be happy when we are back on track and everything is starting to smooth out and we can save up to move.. until than its alot of me and the boys missing him and alot of him missing us ~

love you baby.. miss you so much too.. i hope you know how much i appreciate how much you do for us ~

Impressed with cell insurance

When we were with nextel we made the huge mistake of not insuring our phones. If you've ever had nextel than you know full well the cost of their phones and how after a good while of usage and wear and tear the last thing you need is to face the sticker shock of a new phone.
When we decided to change cell companies and got our blackberry storms the first thing we did was make sure they were all insured. Well a good 6 months later found us having to use that insurance and although I am on the fence with the deductible cost, I was pretty pleased that we had new phones in hand less than 24 hours later.
Needless to say yesterday was spent getting our phones back to normal (adding things we use etc) and it did find us having a few issues with our replacement phones.
So this am I got on the phone and talked to tech support and all seems to be running smoothly now.
All in all I'm pretty impressed with the insurance we have although I do think after spending a monthly fee the deductible should be cheaper or not be there at all.. But in the end the deductible cost is no where near the cost of the storms when paying full price.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

finally in the 2 week wait...

im not sure when ttc if the 2 week wait is a good thing or not ~ it leaves you wondering if you will get a beautiful big fat positive and see them wonderful dark 2 pink lines.. or if old aunt flow will show up and send you threw emotions of crying just wondering *why not .. why cant i just get those lines*
i tell you ttc is an emotional roller coaster.. but we will just have to wait and see what happens at the end of this and than either be celebrating or moving on to next month...

rons working again tonight (surprise surprise) ~ spent the day swimming with the kids at the water, and now fixing to walk our clyde and get some of that pent up puppy energy out of him ~ he seems to have enough of it lately *lol*

i guess i will update a bit more in a bit after my walk and what not... im sure lil ron is wondering where i am and what im doing when im supposed to be getting ready to walk out the door *lol*

happy to finally have our cellphones back

seems like they have been *gone* forever but at least now they are back up and i can start doing more again.. like blogging from my phone when i cant get comp time and just *bouncing* around the web when the comp is unavailable to me ~ funny how you miss the little things that you get used to when you cant do them for a while ~
plus now no worries on getting *looks* when the phone rings at o'dark hundred in the morning when ron calls from work .. ah its just the little things in life *lol*

now i need to remember to call them and look into another plan.. verizon now offers a new plan and i am gonna see if it will save us any money.. on our road *back to the basics* this is one step ~ making things a bit cheaper if we can...

also on the list is finding a cheap car.. nothing fancy just something with 4 wheels that runs *haha* aint our standards high? well at least thats all we are looking for at this time.. come tax time we are upgrading to a suburban paid in full (cash) and i cant wait.. there are so many i have been drooling over.. not only the looks of them but also the cost!

poor ron is at work again tonight, these hours so suck.. i hate that he is gone so much but i also know at the same time that come *off season* his hours will be cut, so i guess in a way its bitter sweet because you know you need the hours while you can get them but at the same time it comes at a cost because we get such little time together when he is either sleeping or walking out the door..

cant wait up for him tonight as he gets off so late in the am and i need to be semi concisious tomorrow to take the kids swimming.. swimming was out today because of the rain even though it got me because just as i rushed to get my plants into the yard to get some rain water, wouldnt you know it the rain stopped but none the less swimming was canceled today *blah*

tomorrow however its on so at least the kiddos will be out of the house and killing some of there energy while ron gets some sleep for work again tomorrow night ~ i believe tomorrow is a long shift for him *blah* i hate long shift nights even worse than the shorter shift nights (by short shift i mean anything under 10 hours) but i know he does it all for me, him and the boys ~

looks like a long long time before i see

ron again for any amount of time. just got his next week schedule tonight and he dont get another day off until next sunday *blah* thats a ton of days in a row with no time off and long hours on top of that ~
i swear these people cant make a schedule to save there life *grr grr grr* on the bright side though, at least he dont have to many horridly long nights (meaning 12 and 14 hour nights) so thats good, at least maybe he will finally get some rest in between shifts. i almost dread having to be the one to have to go in and wake him up at 4pm ~

tomorrow its back to the normal for me and the boys, back to swimming and what not keeping them entertained during the day so that ron can get some much needed sleep and they arent bouncing off the walls to badly.

i guess little ron is going to head off and go clamming with chris on either tues or wed although im not exactly sure which day they are talking about going. after a week with bad tides, this week is looking better. so thats a good thing, little ron has alot of fun clamming with *uncle* chris.

the boys seemed to have a good time at moms house this weekend, i guess her cheap blow up pool was well worth the money she put into it, seems like they all managed to somehow get into it at the same time (oh how i wish i wasnt standing there with a camera for that one) and they all got to *splash* around a bit to keep busy and stay cool. although mom did tell me that owen had his reservations about the whole pool thing but he did okay in it once he got used to being in it.

well.. almost time for ron to be headed home.. he was supposed to call me back but i guess things got busy at work and he wasnt able to. at least tonight isnt a late night for him (meaning not a 12-14 hour shift) so thats a bonus i suppose.

another night of missing my man

rons working another long night tonight ~ i know he is dead tired too.. hated having to wake him up for work this (early) evening. hoping he will come home and just crawl into bed and try to get some sleep ~
not sure his schedule tomorrow but hoping it isnt another 12 hour or longer shift ~ sometime tomorrow we should find out what his next weeks schedule looks like, im guessing that its just going to be as bad as the past few weeks though ~

as much as i hate the hours he works, i know as well as he does that soon them hours will be gone, so many places no longer use the security in the *off season* so his hours will be drastically cut back *grr* so i guess you just have to take the hours while you can get them ~ however that dont make it suck any less.

the boys are spending the night at moms house tonight, last night she had wyatt and owen and tonight she has all 3 plus my nephew brandon.. so im using the time to clean up the room and than gonna go soak in the tub for a while.. wish ron was home so that we could spend some time together just the two of us... or that he was at least at a place that i could go hang out with him.. but unfortunately he was there last night and i had lil ron home..

have i told you lately how much i love my man??

well we had a nice talk tonight and i brought up the baby thing.. and he said *baby we have 3 handsome guys together and we are going to have number 4* followed by *watch this one will be a girl* yeah right babe im a man breeder and i know it *rofl*

i swear he has this way of just putting my mind at ease and although he is at work its like he just *wraps his arm around me and gives me a huge hug and just holds me* i know im weird but thats okay ... who says you got to be *normal*? well other than my shrink who deemed me normal all them years ago.. although i do think she was a bit half wacked herself *haha*

im sure i would be in trouble if ron knew i was still up.. he told me about a half hour ago to take my butt to bed and that he would be waking me up in the morning with the computer speakers blare'n and him watching something on hulu or something like that, but thats okay.. as long as he is home safe thats all that matters to me.

you know its the best thing in the world when you know for a fact that you are spending your life with the one person in the world that you were ment to be with.. and i know thats who im with.. we complete each other in every way.. and every day i just fall more in love with him even when i dont think i could possibly love him anymore than i already do..

what can i say.. hes just the best and sorry ladies, hes all mine and i do NOT share at all *rofl*

and just when the neighbors thought they had seen it all...

here comes lil ron and i carrying a blow up pool (good sized one too) down the road *lol*

today was shopping day *fun*.. NOT ~ honestly i think im one of the few people who hate to shop.. went and hit the normal 3 stores, pet smart for our clyde, walmart and than harris teeter which we just recently started to go to every other week (pay day) so that we can take some of there deals.. although the store isnt my *favorite* as it is still confusing and always leaves me wondering.. why would someone put chips and snacks and than have motor oil in the middle of the same isle?? but none the less they have some awesome deals that one just cant avoid ~ so i do go every other week to take up some of them deals!

anyways.. while at walmart my mom decided to pick up a blow up pool for her back porch. on the days that she has the kids (pretty much the only time she sees owen and gets to spend some time with him) she doesnt like to head down to the end of the road swimming area (aka little beach) because of the drunkards. i cant say i blame her either.. but she wanted a way for them to cool off and have fun at her house.. so she decided on this pretty decent sized kiddy pool for her back porch.

problem is, she had no way to blow it up. so that left me and little ron to take care of here at the house.. with mom living only around the corner and down the street, we opted to blow it up here and just *walk it down* when we were done. thinking that we had the cover of darkness and only two cars pass us on the road, we thought we had it made until we passed by zoey and chucks house (our down the street boxers) and sure enough zoey was outside with her owner who said *zoey.. come here zoey* as he walked closer to the street, looked at us and our big pool, laughed and said *im trying to get zoey in the house and your walking down the street with...... a pool *lol* just when i thought i had seen it all*

we avoided the long explination and just laughed it off ~ after that it was to moms house to get it set up on the porch .. a quick kiss and hug to wyatt and owen who are sleeping over tonight, and than off to the end of the road with ant killer to defeat the ants that keep bugging my baby while he is down there during the week when we are all swimming.. got that taken care of after a breif but wet walk in the down pouring rain (good thing too this ant killer needs water to work better) and than off to the boat ramp to check things out there before returning home ~

wow what a night!

rons working again tonight, another long shift *pouts* i hate these long night time shifts he has ~

im kinda lost though, i want to talk to him a bit more about seriously working on having baby number 4.. some days he seems all for it but other days i kinda still question if he wants to try as hard as i do.. after having no luck for so long getting preggo with wyatt and owen.. and having so many years of trying.. i just want to get moving on it but yet i dont want ron to think im some spastick sperm crazed woman kwim?

the truth is im very happy with our family and our 3 boys, but we had decided from day one that we wanted 4 kids, we didnt know that we would have so much trouble having a baby so now that we are set on having number 4 i just want to actually try harder to have it rather than to just *take it as it comes* im sorry but i just dont have another 6-8 years to do that with kwim?

i suppose i will figure out how to start the convo with him again to see where his mind is at and what he wants to do.. i guess im just scared of him saying that he would rather just *take it as it comes* because i know its not possible to do that kwim?